It's Been So Long
by LaUrIsHa-just me
Summary: A woman from Flack's past returns. This turns both her and Flack's life upside down. Ch. 35: Revenge is a dish best served cold. F OC. R
1. After some years

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the plot or the characters of CSI: NY.

**

* * *

**

_Special thanks to: Phantom Flamer (my beta)._

* * *

**It's been so long (Edited)**

Chapter 1 – After some years

Detective Flack was at court waiting to testify. Annoyed, he took a glance at his watch. He should have been called to testify half an hour earlier. He walked down the aisle to the desk where the Judge's secretary worked. There was a woman talking to her_. This is great, I have to wait for the secretary to tell me why I've been waiting for half an hour._ Flack was getting in a bad mood.

'Please Cindy, I _really_ need Judge Johnson to see that before noon!' pleaded the woman.

'Tell me again: why should I do it?' asked an irked secretary.

'Because my client's reputation is on the line and because if Judge Johnson reads it before noon you'll get a box of Swiss chocolates.'

'I'll see what I can do,' said a reluctant Cindy, 'but you'll have to wait at least forty minutes.'

'Thanks Cindy! You're the best.'

The woman who was talking moved to the side when she saw a man was waiting behind her.

'Excuse me,' he called the secretary's attention, 'I was supposed to testify over half an hour ago, know what happened?' he asked gruffly.

'What's your name, sir?'

'Detective Flack.'

'I'll go check,' said the secretary as she walked down the aisle to talk to the guard in front of the courtroom.

The woman at his side turned her head to look at him. She was rather tall and slender. Her black hair contrasted with her white skin and her hazel eyes shone brightly. Flack gave her an appraising look followed by one of his charming grins.

'Don Flack?' she asked.

'Yeah,' he said while his ego raised a bit.

'Guess you don't remember me, do you?' she asked nonchalantly, 'I'm Lillian Stewart, we went to school together.'

Flack was speechless for a second or two.

'Wow! You … you look great,' he said a bit surprised.

'Thanks, I've dropped a few pounds since we left school. You too look great,' she said while trying to hide her blush.

'What are you doing here?' he asked.

'Well, I'm a lawyer now,' she answered, thinking it was rather obvious, 'I came to save a client from prison. What brings _you_ to court?'

'The exact opposite: trying to make someone go to jail.'

'You've come to testify, then?'

'Yeah.'

'That's the worst part of any trial, you know?'

'Which one?'

'When smart and proud detectives get to the stand and start accusing your clients,' she said with a grin, 'It's hell for us lawyers, they always seem to think they are right.'

'It's hell for you because you _know_ we're right,' he said with a smirk.

'See? I pity the attorney who will have to deal with you.'

They both laughed.

'How many years since we left school?' he asked.

'Ten.'

'Wow!'

'Yes, it's been too long …'

'You'll be called in ten minutes, Detective,' announced Cindy.

Flack nodded to her.

'Lily, why don't we go for a coffee after I finish with this?' asked Flack.

'Sure.'

'Well, wish your fellow attorney luck, I'm coming in,' he said with a wink.

'I will,' she grinned.

Flack left the courtroom and saw Lily sitting in the hall.

'So, how did it go? Were you a royal pain?' she asked.

'Guess he'll go to jail,' he answered proudly.

'Good job, detective! Now, can we get coffee? I'm a bit cold,' she said while wrapping her coat closer.

'Yeah, c'mon.'

Once in the coffee shop they summarized the last ten years of their lives.

'One thing I always wanted to ask: why didn't you go to college?' asked Lily.

'I always wanted to be a detective. You don't need a degree for that, besides, I could never put up with so much studying.'

'But you always were so smart!'

'_You_ were the smart kid in our class,' he remembered.

'That's putting it nicely; I was the bookworm.'

'Yeah, we frequently tried to bribe you to give us the answers but you would only do it if you liked us. Taught us a lesson,' he laughed.

'Glad someone remembers it fondly!' she said bitterly, 'What was the lesson?'

'Always be nice, you don't know whose help you're gonna need,' they both laughed.

'Now I've got a question for you,' started Flack.

'Shoot,' she smiled, amused at her choice of words.

'Why become a lawyer?'

'I don't know, really. It's just what I wanted to do since I was a kid,' she shrugged, 'Why do you hate us so much?' she said as an afterthought.

'I hate lying to save a criminal from punishment.'

'You're looking at it from the wrong angle. We seek justice. Everyone should be able to defend their self whether he's guilty or not,' she explained passionately.

'I still don't agree with you.'

'You never will and you don't have to, you just got to accept that we do our job.'

Flack's cell phone rang. He muttered an apology before taking the call.

'Flack … yeah, I was in court. Washington Square Park?' he groaned, 'Gonna be a long shift.' He hung up.

'I'm sorry, I got called in.'

'It's alright I should get back to work as well.'

'So, maybe we could meet again some other time?' he asked.

'Sure.'

He was about to leave when he turned around. 'Aren't you gonna give me a card?'

'Well, you're a detective, you could find out my number,' she teased.

'You'd make things easier …'

She gave him her business card. It had been this way forever. He would ask for anything and she wouldn't say no. She didn't know if it were his eyes, his smile or the way he asked that made it impossible to say no to him. It would remain a mystery.

Some days later Lily was in her office working on a case when her cell phone rang. She picked it up.

'Lillian Stewart speaking … Yes … Don't worry, I'll be there as soon as I can … Don't say anything …'

After hanging up she grabbed her coat and her briefcase and stormed out of her office. While waiting for the elevator she shouted to Linda, the secretary, 'I'll be in the Precinct.'

She got to the police department and headed straight to the interrogation rooms. Her client was in room number four. She opened the door, entered the room and sat next to her client.

'I'd like to have a private conversation with my client,' she told the detective who had his back turned on them.

When he turned round both the detective and the lawyer froze.

'You only have ten minutes, Ms. Stewart,' he warned her.

'That will be enough, Detective.'

'What happened?' she asked Mr. Owen when Flack left the room.

'The director, my boss, Mr. Tyler, was murdered. They think it was me.'

'Did you do it?'

'No!'

'Good. Alibi?'

'Was at home. Alone.'

She bit her lip. 'Motive?'

'He was going to fire me.'

'That's just great!' she sighed, 'Don't worry.'

'We're done,' now she was talking to the other side of the glass, where she knew Detective Flack was waiting.

'What evidence have you got against my client?'

'The murder weapon was on his office.'

'On the grounds of what did you search his office?' her tone was less friendly and less warm than on the coffee shop. She was being great at her job; she didn't care if he was her school friend. He couldn't do that, though. For him, Lily Stewart would always be the girl he met sixteen years ago and seeing her being so cold towards him gave Flack a pang in his gut.

'We searched the whole building for evidence. Mr. Owen let us search his office without a warrant.'

'That action definitely proves he didn't do it,' she paused, 'Why would he let you search his office if he had hidden the murder weapon there? Makes no sense.'

'He could have forgotten,' stated the detective.

'Give my client some credit, Detective Flack. He's the best accountant that firm has, he's not stupid.'

'Could have been a moment of weakness, of forgetfulness.'

'Or could have been because he didn't do it,' she said firmly.

Detective Flack started talking to Mr. Owen. 'Why kill him? Yeah, he was going to fire you. But you can get another job.'

'I didn't do it!'

'He was doing what he thought was best …'

'I had nothing to do with it!'

'You were seen arguing with him twelve hours before his death.'

'I didn't kill him!'

'You have to remember, Detective Flack, that Mr. Tyler wasn't a very nice boss. Half the company disliked him,' the lawyer intervened.

That way the interrogation continued until a frustrated detective ended it.

'Seems you can leave for now.'

The three people in the room exited.

'Mr. Owen, go ahead. Return home,' she told him.

'Thanks,' he said and left the station.

'Don, I want to talk to you.'

'What do you want?' he said rather angry.

'Just wondered if you wanted to have dinner with me.'

'I don't think it would be appropriate. You're a lawyer defending our suspect.'

'You have to understand that I was doing my job. When I'm not defending a client you're my friend. You can't mix business with pleasure, Donny.'

He smiled at the way she used his old nickname.

'My shift ends in twenty minutes.'

'I'll wait.'

When his shift ended Flack went to the locker room and changed quickly into some extra clothes he always had in his locker.

'Hey man, slow down a minute, wanna go to the bar with us?' asked Danny.

'Sorry, can't. I'm gonna have dinner with someone else.'

'Who? Is it a lady?' their conversation continued down the hallways.

'Yeah. Old friend from school.'

'What's her name?'

'Lily. She's a lawyer.'

'That's gonna be weird!'

'What are you talking about?' asked Flack.

'Dating a lawyer. They are lying bastards, all of them. You have to be cold-blooded and nasty to get into law school,' he established.

'Lily Stewart, this is Danny Messer. He's a friend, works in the crime lab.' (Did Lily overhear Danny?)

'Though there are beautiful exceptions,' said Danny, finishing the conversation the two men were having.

'Shall we go, then?' asked Flack, 'I'm hungry.'

'Where to?'

'I have someplace in mind.'

Lily and Flack sat at a table in a restaurant and ordered. They had a long chat until she had to leave.

'I'm sorry Don, but I have to wake up early tomorrow,' she apologised.

'It's alright.' He was taking his wallet out.

'I'll pay for it, Donny.'

'No, you're the lady. Let me.'

'I gave you a hard time at the interrogation room. Let it be my treat.'

'You're right about that. Every time you play the nasty lawyer you'll have to invite me to dinner as punishment.'

'Then we'll be having dinner way too often.'

* * *

_Thanks for reading this fic! I rewrote the first chapter after the suggestions made by Phantom Flamer but the plot isn't going to change much. Comments, suggestions, ideas and opinions are welcomed so: review!_

_Get ready for the next chapter:_

Chapter 2 - Secrets are revealed

Where Lily is desperate. Where Flack becomes an ally. Where both their lives change dramatically.

_LaUrIsHa-just me_


	2. Secrets are revealed

**Special thanks to Phantom Flamer (sparkyCSI)**

* * *

Chapter 2 – Secrets are revealed

Flack and Danny were at the locker room after their shift ended.

'So, how's that lady of yours?' Danny asked.

'We've gone out a few times to catch up, remember things …'

'It's hard to get her between your sheets, isn't it?' Danny smirked.

'It's not about that,' said Flack annoyed, 'she's pretty and everything but, I like being with her for other reasons.'

Danny raised his eyebrows.

'It's nice to have someone from your past return to your life, you know?' he paused, 'all those good and bad memories I thought forgotten come up in our conversations. It reminds us that what we were and what we did is part of who we are now.'

'It's even better if the person from your past is easy on the eyes.'

Flack rolled his eyes.

A week later Lily Stewart was in the precinct. She walked to a desk where a policeman was working.

'I'd like to file a complaint.'

He looked up and took a yellow sheet of paper and a pen from his desk.

'I need your name and address,' he said, boredom etched in his face.

'Lillian Helena Stewart, 1570 Broadway.'

'Who are you pressing charges against?'

She answered and the police officer kept asking questions in that 'I-couldn't-care-less-about-your-problem' tone.

Lily was really frustrated and angry. She depended on this officer to help her, to solve her problem once and for all and all she got was indifference. An idea struck her and being the hot-headed woman she was, she walked to the elevator and got in. She descended and after a quick 'inspection' walked confidently to one of the desks occupied by a detective.

'Hello,' she said while sitting in a chair opposite the man.

He looked up from the report he was writing and smiled.

'Hey, what are you doing here? Defending another one of our suspects?' he joked.

'Look, I'll cut straight to the chase; I need your help.'

'What happened?'

'Well, I'm a lawyer. Some people I've sent to jail have made threats. You know, the usual stuff,' she stopped for a moment and he nodded, 'and there was one guy that since he got out of prison has started harassing and stalking me as well.'

'Have you filed a complaint?' asked Flack automatically.

'This morning I've filed the 9th complaint in three months,' she said with a mix of fear, anxiety and nervousness.

'And the guy's still stalking you?'

'Yes.'

Lily sighed with frustration.

'What's his name?'

'Richard Dusby.'

'I'm afraid Don! Please do something to help me. He's insane, he'll … he'll kill me. Please help me!' she pleaded. 'He sometimes calls me late at night and follows me from the office. It's scary! I can barely sleep, I can barely go out, I think he will be waiting for me at every corner.'

'He's a stalker; he's trying to frighten you.' Flack said matter-of-factly, 'Apparently he's doing a good job,' he said acidly as an afterthought.

She fidgeted in her seat.

'Why come to me? I'm a homicide detective and as far as I know; you aren't dead.'

'Because I'm sick of this! I'm scared. I've filed complaints against this man and he keeps harassing me. And to top it all, the police officer who registered my complaint today dismissed it, said it was a misdemeanor, that I should go shopping and forget all about it,' she glared at him, 'I'm desperate, you're the only who can help me.'

Flack sighed and stayed silent for some time.

'Okay, give me half an hour. I'll check some things and I'll meet you in the café on the corner.'

She stood up, already composed and looked at him.

'Thanks.'

Half an hour later both Flack and Lily were seated in the café having some coffee.

Flack took a sip out of his mug, looked at her and finally decided to ask what was on his mind.

'Why didn't you tell me before?' he asked, a bit hurt.

'It's a tough situation and besides, I'm not the only one scared,' she paused for a minute deciding whether she would continue speaking or not, 'I … haven't dated a man for a year because they are frightened too, they don't want to get killed because of me.' She lowered her gaze, blushing a bit.

Flack muttered something that sounded like 'pussies'.

'Why didn't you tell me that you've filed 20 complaints over the last year?' he asked bewildered.

Lily didn't say a word.

'You told me today. We've been meeting for coffee or dinner for almost a month and you never mentioned it.' Flack didn't drop the subject.

'You're right. I should have told you that day after court,' she stopped for a second, 'I'm Lily Stewart; we were friends ten years ago. My life? I went to law school, I'm really close to becoming a partner in the firm where I work and, oh, there's a guy harassing me. That _definitely_ was the right moment!' her voice dripped with sarcasm.

Flack felt the pang in his gut; she was doing it again. She was talking like the lawyer and not like the woman he was friends with.

He looked even more hurt than before and after seeing the pain in his eyes, Lily softened her tone.

'This isn't easy, you know? I try to keep a normal life, pretend that everything's okay. But it isn't. I feel weak and I hate myself.'

'Why do you hate yourself?' Flack asked puzzled.

'Because even if I'm pretty tough at court, I'm still a woman. If I were a man, this wouldn't be happening to me.'

'You've been really strong, handling this for more than a year on your own.'

'Yeah, I've been doing a really good job, I haven't panicked at all. What happened at the precinct was all acting, it's not like I've been desperate this last nine months …' there was her sarcasm kicking in again.

'You know what I was trying to say,' he gave her a stern look, 'stop being a smart ass.'

'I'm sorry, I'm too stressed. So … are you going to help me or just ground me and leave me without TV, dad?'

Flack shook his head but smiled anyway. Her aggressive tone was slipping away.

'This is what we'll do:' he said trying to get all her attention, 'you'll go to the office, when do you finish work?'

'At seven.'

'Okay, now you'll go to your office. You won't leave the building until I go and pick you up at seven, understood?'

She nodded.

'Good. Then we'll go to your apartment and you'll make your bags.'

'Where am I going to stay?' she asked worriedly.

'I'll see to that.'

'Thank you so much, Donny!'

'Don't worry, everything's gonna be alright.'

Lily stood up and left feeling relieved, she trusted him.

At seven o'clock Flack was waiting for her in his car. Lily got in and he asked for her address. They drove for ten minutes until they got to her place. They got on the elevator and descended on the fourth floor.

Lily opened the first lock and before opening the second one she looked to both sides, her face etched with fright. She opened the second lock and entered as fast as she could. While she was turning the lights on she ushered him into the living room.

'You shouldn't be scared, I'm here,' said Flack trying to calm her down.

'You can't get rid of fear so easily,' she said while starting to pack.

'How long am I going to stay out of this place?'

'Two months, maybe a bit more.'

Half an hour later, Lily had two suitcases and three boxes full of her things.

'I'm ready.'

'What have you got in there?' he asked surprised.

'Clothes, shoes, bags, great amount of books, CD's, jewellery, make up, that sort of thing …'

Flack stood up from the couch, sighed heavily and helped Lily with her things. Once in the car the young woman asked where he was taking her.

'To my apartment,' he answered.

She was nonplused for some minutes and then she spoke. 'Are you sure? I mean, I don't want to interfere with your life …'

'I thought it was the best way of keeping an eye on you. Besides, I wouldn't mind a feminine touch in the house,' he grinned.

She smiled back.

Don Flack opened the door of his apartment and let his new roommate in. He gave her a 'tour' of the place.

'That one is my favourite couch,' he said while pointing to a sofa, 'I'll only let you sit in it if you're a good girl and the Yankees aren't playing.'

She rolled her eyes and grinned. 'I'll keep that in mind, try not to be naughty.'

He smiled.

'Would you mind if I put some clothes in your closet? I don't want them to get creased.'

'Yeah, sure. There's plenty of space.'

Lily opened the door of his closet and gaped. Hanging there were three suits and two jackets.

'You only have three suits and two jackets?!' she asked.

'I have four suits: two for winter and two for summer.'

'But you go to work everyday with those.'

'How many should I have, then?' he asked nonchalantly.

'Well, I don't know. But I have at _least_ six skirts per season to take to work.'

He rolled his eyes, 'You're a woman, you're supposed to care about those things.'

Lily shook her head.

The first dinner together as roommates Lily and Flack talked about their lives for the past ten years and their lives now. As they both had to wake up early, they decided to go to bed sooner than they wished.

'The sofa's already set so I'll go to sleep,' said Flack.

'I'm the one sleeping on the couch,' said Lily nonchalantly.

'No way, you're the lady.'

'I'm the intruder, so don't be silly; the couch is mine.'

'At least sleep on the bed this first night,' he said charmingly.

She shook her head.

'Please, just this night,' he gave her the puppy eyes.

'I'll oblige. But _just_ for this night.'

'O.K. Good night.'

'Good night, Don,' said Lily as she headed to the bedroom.

A somewhat agitated night awaited.

Late at night Lily woke up from an awful nightmare where she was being chased and stabbed in the chest. To calm herself down, she decided to get a glass of water. Although she was drinking a glass of water, she wasn't feeling better; her hands were trembling. Due to her trembling, she dropped the glass. She knelt down to collect the shards still shuddering.

'Don't worry, I'll get 'em,' said Flack softly standing next to her, 'you get back to bed.'

'I'm, I'm sorry … I wasn't careful enough.'

'It's alright, now go to sleep,' he said in a sort of fatherly tone.

'I just had a nightmare, being foolish again,' she said sheepishly.

Looking up from where he was picking up the broken glass, he saw her trembling. Flack threw the shards into the wastebasket and put one of his arms round her shoulders. He took her to the bedroom and motioned to her to lie down. He lay down on the other side of the bed and with an arm round her waist pulling her closer to him as he muttered 'It's gonna be alright.'

Lily was the first one to fall asleep and then it was Flack's turn.

The alarm went off at six o'clock and both Lily and Flack grunted.

'We should probably be getting up,' said Lily without making any effort to do it.

'Yeah. How are you feeling?'

'Better, I guess … sorry for breaking that glass,' she apologised again.

'I didn't even like it, anyway!'

Lily smiled. She knew he'd said it to make her feel better and she appreciated it.

They got up and he went to have a shower while she dressed and went to the kitchen. Some minutes later, when Flack got out of the shower, he met with Lily's disapproval.

'There's nothing to have for breakfast. We seriously need to buy some food.'

'I'll buy you breakfast at a coffee shop nearby.'

'Lead the way …'

After having a quick breakfast Flack dropped Lily at her office and headed to the precinct. Both had a lot of work to do and wished they could have stayed in bed a little longer. They yearned for the softness of the sheets and the warmth of their roommate. But life was cruel and there was work to be done. For eleven hours they suppressed their need for that human warmth that both had been missing for some time, ever since their beds had been empty.

* * *

_Well, here's the second chapter. Thanks for reading! Comments, suggestions, opinions and ideas are welcomed, so leave a review. Prepare for chapter 3:_

_Of calls and troubles_

_Where her life's in danger and the Crime Lab make its first appearance._

LaUrIsHa-just me


	3. Of calls and troubles

**

* * *

Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers and to my beta sparkyCSI. I don't know what I would do without your sensible and practical observations.**

* * *

Chapter 3 – Of calls and trouble

That night Flack picked her up at her office and they drove to a supermarket to buy groceries. Almost an hour later they were heading back to his car, their arms full with bags.

'I can't believe we spent all that money on food!' said Flack shocked.

'We had to buy lots of things because your cupboards were _empty_. Besides, you're spending the same amount of money that you did before, you'll just be eating healthy food for a change.'

Flack simply shook his head.

After they had gotten home Lily cooked dinner.

'Hope you still like your steak rare,' she said while placing a plate in front of Flack.

'Yeah,' he paused for a second, 'How did you know that?'

Lily laughed and blushed a bit. 'Well, back in high school a friend of mine had a crush on you. So she would come and tell the rest of us things about you; what you liked, disliked, etc. Guess I have a good memory.'

He threw her a sideways glance.

'Aren't you gonna eat?' Flack asked seeing as she didn't bring a plate for herself.

'It's still cooking.'

'Of course it is.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' Lily raised her eyebrows.

'You're a sophisticated woman. You would die before eating raw meat,' he said and brought a big piece of steak to his mouth.

'I don't like taking chances when it's not necessary. And, for your information, meat is the only thing that I like overcooked.'

'Of course it is.'

She shot him a warning glare and stood up to get her overcooked steak out of the oven.

They finished their meal, washed the dishes, watched TV and went to bed.

Flack was talking to a detective. Now _he_ was on the other side of the desk and hated every minute of it.

'You were very involved in this case, Detective Flack, why?' a young and somewhat cocky detective asked.

Flack glared at him and answered, 'Ms. Stewart is my friend.'

'That doesn't explain your involvement in the case,' the guy was enjoying this.

'She came to me for help.'

'Why go to a Homicide Detective?'

'Because conceited officers were too bigheaded to acknowledge her problem.'

'So you did some research?'

Flack nodded.

'What did you find out?'

'Richard Dusby was convicted in 2001 for domestic violence and served a five-year sentence,' Flack said reading the notes on his notebook.

'Why go after Ms. Stewart?'

'She was the wife's lawyer. The guy thinks it's her fault, wants revenge. Stalks her for a year and waits for the final blow.'

The younger detective nodded in understanding.

'She made 20 complaints in a year against him but the detective handling the case said there wasn't enough evidence to lock him up again,' finished Flack.

'So, what happened this morning?'

'Well …'

At four in the morning Lily's cell phone rang. She woke up and answered it while propping herself up on the couch. When the call ended she heard the bedroom door open.

'What happened?' asked a sleepy Flack.

'Sorry to wake you. It's a new client, he's in trouble and wants me to go to his house to help him,' she sighed.

'Okay,' he said and walked to the kitchen, 'I'll start with breakfast while you take a shower.'

She took some clothes and smiled.

'Thanks Don! You're the best,' she said as she ran to the bathroom.

Fifty minutes later both Flack and Lily were on their way to her new client's house.

'So I'll wait for you in the car and then drive you to the office,' he confirmed.

She nodded.

'It won't take long, I promise.'

When she got to the door she was told to come inside. She entered but didn't see anyone.

'Mr. Johnson, are you there?' Lily asked.

'I'm in the kitchen. It's the room to the right.'

She got to the kitchen and saw a short and somewhat fat man who had his back turned on her.

'Mr. Johnson, I'm Lillian Stewart, care to tell me what's the problem?' she put her briefcase on the floor next to the kitchen counter.

The man turned around.

'_You_ are.'

Lily froze and gasped. She tried to get to the door but the man grabbed her arm. She struggled, scratching his face and arms in the process. They kicked Lily's briefcase while fighting, scattering its content over the floor.

'Finally! I've waited so long …' his eyes shone with malice.

She shoved him and was turning around to run away when he hit her squarely in the face, knocking her out. She fell near her briefcase.

'Now you'll see what Richard Dusby is capable of!'

She came round again and saw that Dusby was turned around looking for something. She was trying hard to find a way to escape when she saw it. Lily stretched her hand to where her cell phone lay and hit 4 in speed dial.

Outside, in his car, Flack was listening to the radio when his phone rang. He saw it was from Lily and answered it.

'Are you ready?'

No answer came.

Back in the house, Dusby had heard Flack's question.

'So you're trying to get help? It's not gonna work.'

Richard Dusby grabbed a butcher's knife from one of the drawers and told her to stand up.

'C'mon! Get up!'

He forced her to stand up, the knife almost touching the skin on her chest. Dusby heard a noise and looked up. Lily seized the opportunity and started running. He caught her almost immediately, getting hold of her pearl necklace with one hand and her wrist with the other one. He gripped the necklace with such strength that was almost strangling her. He pulled and the necklace broke sending pearls all over the floor. Then he made Lily face him.

'Ha, ha. Can't escape,' he was enjoying her fear.

Dusby's hand, the one holding the knife, went to her throat and descended to her chest. It got closer and closer to her skin, he lifted it and was about to strike when he heard a voice.

'NYPD, freeze! Put the knife down, turn around and put your hands in the back of your head!'

Dusby smirked and did as he was told. Flack proceeded to call for back up and then cuffed him.

Back up and an ambulance came right away. The officers took Dusby to the precinct while the paramedics focused on Lily.

'You coming with her to hospital, Detective?' asked one of the paramedics.

'No, I have something to do.'

Flack took his cell phone and made a call.

'Mac … need a team … yeah, I know … It's very important … as a favor … I need a team … okay, thanks.'

Twenty minutes later Mac, Lindsay and Danny were at the scene. When they got into the kitchen their jaws dropped.

'Somebody put up a fight!' were Danny's words after seeing the mess which they had to process. There were pearls and papers and some shards of glass on the floor and a few chairs were knocked over.

'I didn't want to leave before you came, so I'm going to the hospital now,' said Flack after telling them what had happened.

When Flack got to the hospital Lily was lying on a bed, already patched up.

'How are you feeling?' he asked softly while sitting on the chair next to the bed.

'Beaten up …' she smiled, 'Thanks.'

'It was why you came to me, wasn't it? I was doing my job,' he shrugged it off.

'Well, I appreciate my life very much, so what you did … I can't, can't thank you enough,' she said at the verge of tears.

'No need to cry, it's over,' tried Flack to console her, 'he won't hurt you again.'

He patted her hand awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

Half an hour later there was a knock on the door and Lindsay came in.

'I'm here to take some pictures,' she explained to Lily, 'I'm sorry Flack, but you'll have to go.'

He stood up and silently left the room.

'I'm Detective Lindsay Monroe, by the way,' both women shook hands, 'So, I'll start with the bruise on your cheek and then the rest of the body.'

The following day, at five in the afternoon Lily was released and Flack went to pick her up.

'I say we go for a cup of coffee, do you feel up to it?' he asked her, 'If you're too tired, we _can_ go home …'

'That would be nice,' she saw the puzzled look on his face and smiled, 'Going for coffee, I mean. I'm still a bit sedated, sorry.'

After coffee Flack drove her back to the apartment.

'Do you mind if I go to sleep? I'm tired,' she asked trying to stifle a yawn.

'Go. You need any help?'

Lily shook her head and walked slowly to the bedroom. She suddenly stopped, turned around and walked towards Flack. He gave her an inquisitive look.

'Need anything?'

'Just to thank you, you've done so much for me …' she struggled with the words coming out of her mouth so she decided to stop talking altogether.

Lily hugged him for a few seconds and then let go of him. She walked to the bedroom wondering why it had felt so wrong and uncomfortable to do it but put those thoughts aside as her head hit the pillow.

She woke up the next day with the smell of fresh coffee, put on her dressing gown and walked slowly to the kitchen. She sat on a stool and Flack gave her a mug full of the hot liquid.

'Good morning!' said Lily cheerfully.

He grunted in response.

'Didn't sleep well?' she asked sympathetically.

Flack shook his head.

She walked to the cupboard and took a jar of cookies. She left it on the table, between her and Flack and took one. They remained silent, sipping their mugs for a moment or two.

'You should eat one,' said Lily while gesturing the cookies, 'when I'm in a bad mood eating them makes me feel better.'

He took one and then another and another. It wasn't until the fourth cookie that he spoke the first full sentence that morning.

'Yeah, they are magical,' he said with the usual amount of sarcasm.

'See, you're already feeling better, being sarcastic and everything.'

He rolled his eyes at her sunny disposition and grabbed his gun and jacket.

'Going to work,' he said, 'I don't have the week off.'

'You should be thankful for that. I'm on medical leave and feeling like crap so it's not going to be a picnic.'

'Weren't you all so happy and cheerful today?' he asked a bit amused.

'You know I can't pretend to be cheerful for too long.'

'See you tonight,' he said and left the apartment.

'Bye,' she muttered to herself and finished her coffee.

Flack got to his apartment to find Lily engrossed in her laptop. She didn't realise he had arrived until he came from the bedroom, already changed.

'Oh, you're home. I'll go make dinner.'

'Make it for three. The Yankees are playing and Danny's coming over when he finishes his shift.'

She nodded and went to change. After some minutes she came out wearing some jeans, a red sweater, sneakers and a scarf which hid the awful bruise on her neck.

Dinner was almost ready when Danny arrived. They ate mostly in silence. The men moved to the couch in front of the TV and Lily washed the dishes. When she finished she sat in an armchair and lost herself in a book.

The game finished and the men started talking.

'So … Pride and Prejudice?' Danny asked Lily after seeing the cover of the book she was reading.

'One of my favourites.'

'I don't like it,' he said honestly, 'too much romance,' he pulled a face.

Lily laughed.

'That's the best part about it, you know? That despite their differences, they still fall in love.'

'It was obvious that they were going to marry, no surprise in that,' scoffed Flack.

'So you didn't like it either?' she asked Flack, who shook his head, 'The fun part is watching them change, interact with each other, form a relationship. They come from different backgrounds, they have different stories, different points of view. They clash in many things but at the end of the day, they just want love.'

Danny and Flack looked at each other and they were thinking the same thing: _Women!_

* * *

_Thanks for reading! It makes me happy to hear from you. For comments, suggestions and ideas send a review. Brace yourselves for the next chapter:_

_Chapter 4 - Aftermath_

Where things change. Where fights ensue.

_LaUrIsHa-just me_


	4. Aftermath

**I passed my English exam and so as to celebrate, I'm posting this chapter sooner than intended. As usual: thanks to sparkyCSI.**

* * *

Chapter 4 – Aftermath

Lily had gone back to work and she was with Mary, her best friend and the firm's receptionist going over some papers at the reception.

'A boy will come to get the envelope …,' was explaining the lawyer when she was interrupted by her friend.

'I hope he's not going to jail,' said the blonde woman while pressing the button to open the door, 'and that he's single.'

Lily looked up and saw a tall man she recognised too well.

'Don? He's a homicide detective.'

'Oh, not a doubt; New York's Finest,' said the receptionist while watching him intently.

The other woman rolled her eyes.

'Don't you live with him?'

'Yes.'

'Oh, you're so lucky! If you ever wanna share him …'

'Mary! For Christ's sake! He's my friend,' Lily blushed when she saw Flack was near the desk.

'Good afternoon sir, may I help you?' said Mary in what seemed a business like tone. But Lily knew better, she was trying to impress him.

He shook his head and talked to Lily.

'Could you give me your keys?'

'What happened to yours?'

'Left 'em at home,' he blushed a bit.

She raised her eyebrows.

'They were on the table, but we left in a rush and you closed the door. Didn't realise until I needed them,' he explained.

'You won't be called in before I get home?' asked Lily.

'I promise I'll be there when you get home,' he said rolling his eyes.

'You better be. I don't want to wait at the door until you get there four or five hours later.' He looked at her expectantly. 'I'll go get my purse.'

She walked to her office and appeared some minutes later, fumbling through her purse. She got her keys out and handed them to him.

'Thanks,' he said.

'Don't lose them,' she joked while he walked away.

Mary, who had been silent the whole time, spoke when the man was out of earshot.

'He's a good kisser, isn't he?'

'How would I know?' asked Lily puzzled.

'It's obvious he has the hots for you,' she said shrewdly.

'Have you inhaled nail polish again, or something?'

'I'm telling you, girl. _Carpe diem_!'

'C'mon! It's Don you're talking about.'

'Your point being?'

'We're friends, that's all,' said Lily slowly as if she were explaining trigonometry to a five year old, 'working on both sides of the fence and keeping a friendship is hard, imagine a relationship.'

'The guy's hot, single and he likes you. You're living together and you haven't dated anyone for a while, take the opportunity. Who cares about work?'

'I do!' she said and walked quickly to her office, where she would remain until it was time to go home.

She took the metro and enjoyed the ride. It was nice things were normal again. Dusby was in prison, waiting for the trial which would be in a couple of weeks, so she could enjoy travelling without being scared. Lily felt free again. She wasn't dependent on Don to take her everywhere and she wasn't frightened anymore.

She liked living with Don and not alone for a change, but she wanted to go home. She missed her apartment in Broadway. Well, not really. She never liked that apartment. The only good thing about it was its closeness to the theatres she liked so much. She wanted to be made a partner at the firm as soon as possible so as to move to that nice apartment in the Upper East Side. The one with the lovely garden and three bedrooms. The one she had been wanting to rent for the past two years. But she had to wait.

She got to the apartment she shared with Flack and knocked. A tall muscular blond man answered.

'Can I help you?'

Lily looked at the number on the door again, thinking she had made a mistake.

'Can I help you?' he repeated.

'Yes, you can let me in,' she said.

The guy was blocking the door.

'Look, we're busy now. Come some other time,' he told her.

She raised her eyebrows and was about to answer when Flack came to the door.

'Let her in, Matt. She lives here,' he told the blond man.

A confused Matt moved to the side and she walked in. Lily saw three other men in the living room and gave Flack a questioning glance.

'These are the boys,' he said, 'guys: this is Lily, she lives here with me. You already met Matt and these are John, Adam and Ryan,' he gestured towards the men sitting with beers on their hands.

They waved and she muttered a 'Hello!' before going to the bedroom and then to the bathroom.

'Didn't tell us you have a girlfriend,' reproached John.

'She's not my girlfriend, Johnny.'

'You have a more 'open' relationship, the no-commitment sort of thing?' asked Matt.

'No, we aren't together. She had a problem so I took her in.'

'A problem?' asked John.

'With her apartment,' lied Flack. He was about to change topic when Ryan, who was a smart guy spoke.

'But you sleep together.'

'We don't.'

'You've only got a room,' he pointed out.

'We take turns, smarty pants. One night I take the couch, the next one I take the bed.'

Flack changed the subject quickly.

Twenty minutes later Lily emerged from the bathroom with jeans and a tube top. She went to the kitchen and prepared dinner for herself. She was eating when Adam asked her a question.

'What do you do for a living?'

'I'm a lawyer.'

'My brother is one too. Where do you work?'

'White, Brandson & Jordan,' was her laconic answer. She was uncomfortable with Flack's friends. She really didn't want to talk to them. Especially when they knew where she worked and that she earned a generous salary. Lily hated the way some people looked at her when they found out she was a successful lawyer in a firm where legal aid was given only to people with lots of money.

'They're good. Heard they have the best young lawyer in the country: he's called Stewart. Maybe you know him,' said John.

Flack grinned and Lily blushed.

'The 'best young lawyer in the country' is a woman. And you're looking at her, Johnny,' Flack told him.

'You're Stewart?' he asked surprised.

She nodded.

'I'm Lillian Stewart.'

The men were a bit taken aback.

'Is it true you earn 10,000 dollars per month?' asked the ever ambitious Matt.

'On a general basis,' the men didn't understand, so she explained, 'that's what I earn for being a counsellor. For each trial I win as an attorney, I get a percentage of the fee the client paid.'

'I chose the wrong career!' said Adam, 'I earn 3000 per month as a fire fighter, putting my life on the line everyday.'

'Me too, buddy,' agreed Ryan.

'So you two are fire fighters,' said Lily trying to take the spot off her.

'Yeah. Johnny there is a paramedic and Matt a patrolman,' explained Adam.

'You save this city on a daily basis. That must be great, you know, the sense of accomplishment.'

'Usually you feel on top of the mountain. But then somebody is shot, somebody dies or there's an attack like 9/11 and you wonder if you're gonna be next, if you're ever gonna wake up the following morning,' explained John.

'Yeah, but the next morning you wake up and forget all about it. If you have to die, it should be defending the people of this city, not being cautious and wondering if it's your turn or not,' added Flack.

'Oh, I really admire you. I could never do that. I don't think I'd be willing to die for someone I don't know,' said Lily honestly.

'When you're in a situation where another person is in danger you don't think about the consequences, you don't think about anything, you just act,' confessed Adam.

They kept talking for a while until Flack's friends had to leave.

Lily got the bottles of beer and put them in the trash. When she turned around she saw Ryan was helping her tidy up.

'Leave it, Ryan, I'll do it.'

'It's okay, I'll help you.'

They worked silently and when they finished, he spoke.

'Lily I was wondering … well, if you want to …' he stopped and she gave him an encouraging look, 'If you want to go out with me.'

She was nonplussed for a bit and then she answered.

'Yeah, sure.'

'Tomorrow at seven at Ray's?'

'Eh, sure. Meet you there.' She gave him a shy and insecure smile as he walked out of the kitchen and then left the apartment.

The following day, at five thirty Lily took her briefcase and her purse and left her office. On the way out she stopped at the reception to talk to Mary.

'You're leaving early today! Are you about to die or something?' Mary asked.

The other woman gave her a warning glance.

'I have a date tonight,' she said.

'Is there an epidemic I haven't found about?'

'I'm not in the mood for your nasty jokes, Mary,' Lily warned her friend.

'Who is he?' asked the blonde with a smile playing on her lips, 'New York's Finest?'

'Fire Department.'

'Oh, Bravest. Is he cute?'

Lily shrugged. 'He had some trouble asking me out, that was cute.'

'Oh, he's date-challenged, just like you!'

'Hey!' protested the lawyer.

'What is it about fireman, even when they aren't that cute, they're cute... ya know?' asked Mary.

'It's that whole hero complex. Or maybe it's because women just really want to be rescued.'

'Typical! No wonder you've been dateless for a while. Nobody's too fond of your psychological mumbo-jumbo.'

'Good to see I have caring friends!' was the lawyer's sarcastic response, 'I've got to go.'

'Good luck. Call me when you get home!'

Lily rolled her eyes. She got home and saw Flack wasn't there. She had a quick shower, put on a nice and simple dress, a bit of make up and left the room. Flack had arrived and he was sitting in the couch watching TV.

'What are you cooking for dinner?' he asked. 'I'm a bit hungry.'

'Sorry sweetheart, I'm going out tonight, you'll have to manage yourself. If you remember how to hold a knife,' she smiled.

'Cute. Am I ever going to meet the friends you go out with?'

'I'm not going out with the girls,' she stated.

'Really?' he raised his eyebrows.

'Why are you surprised?'

'You haven't put a lot of effort on your appearance.'

'It's always nice to receive compliments from friends! Why do you care?' she didn't wait for an answer and called for a taxi, 'Goodnight, Don.'

'Don't come too late!' he yelled at her back when she was leaving the apartment.

'Yes, dad.'

She had a nice time with Ryan. He was a good guy. But the sort of guy you can only see as a friend. After stifling a yawn, she told him she had to wake up early the next morning and needed to rest. They left the bar and he drove her to the apartment she shared with Don. He walked her to the door.

'Thanks for everything,' she said, 'I had a nice time.'

'Yeah, me too.'

He leant for a kiss but she didn't respond. Lily smiled apologetically.

'Maybe we can see each other again,' he suggested.

'I'm sorry Ryan, but I don't think it's a good idea.'

He nodded and left while she opened the door. Flack was sitting in the same spot she had left him in.

'Have you moved at all, tonight?' she asked jokingly.

'Cute. I heard Ryan's voice out there, why was he here?'

'You're the detective, you find out.'

'I say you didn't want to kiss him good night. Or see him again, for that matter.'

'Were you spying on us?' she asked, her hands on her hips.

He looked guilty.

'Sometimes you behave like my dad!'

'Just worried about your safety,' he said with his hands up.

'I'm going to bed,' she said tiredly. She didn't want to argue with him.

'Good night, Lily.'

* * *

_Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Opinions, suggestions, ideas are always welcomed, so send a review and let me know what you think. Prepare for the next chapter (which won't be posted until mid-March):_

Chapter 5 - Trials and tribulations

Dusby's trial: important decisions are made.

_LaUrIsHa-just me_


	5. Trials and tribulations

**Special thanks to sparkyCSI, my wonderful and patient beta.**

* * *

Chapter 5 – Trials and tribulations

Flack got out of bed the following morning and saw a sulking Lily at the kitchen table.

'Rough night?' he asked with a smirk playing in his lips.

She glared at him.

'Mrs. Aberdee –one of my _elderly_ clients- called me at three in the morning saying her house had been broken in,' she paused to take a sip out of her lemon tea.

'Didn't she call the police?' he asked.

'According to her, your guys were destroying her stuff,' Lily gave him a meaningful glance.

'Lab?' he asked amused.

She nodded. 'So I get to her house and they were examining the place at the same time as Mrs. Aberdee was yelling at them. Something about police brutality.' He raised his eyebrows. 'She calmed down after my twenty-minute rant about protocol, investigations and law enforcement. That's when one of your guys comes and tells her a kid broke the window while playing football and she bursts. The old woman starts yelling about how corrupt policemen are and that she's going to sue them all.'

Flack was laughing really hard and she couldn't stop from chuckling.

'She stopped yelling after I told her I was heading home and she should go back to sleep.'

'You still haven't recovered?'

'I came home…', she looked at her watch, 'ten minutes ago.'

Flack suppressed a grin and asked her about the other night.

'I have told you all about it.'

'I'm talking about your date with one my friends,' he said pointedly.

'I don't kiss and tell, Don.'

'You didn't kiss him, so you _can_ tell.'

'Same principle. Besides, he's your friend; don't you think it would be weird?'

'What?'

'If I told you he's too dull.'

'He's a fire-fighter, you can't get more interesting than that,' said Flack shocked.

'Doesn't he have a twin brother or something? Because the guy's boring,' she said and shook her head.

'So you didn't have a good time?'

'No.'

If she hadn't turned around to leave the cup on the kitchen sink, she would have seen Flack rejoicing at her answer.

The clock went off at six in the morning, as usual. But today wasn't a normal day. Lily had to go to a trial. What was unusual about this? That she wasn't the lawyer.

She got ready and at five past seven she was arriving at the DA's office. She knocked on the door and a young man answered. He was rather lanky and he was smartly dressed.

'Lily! You're early,' he said in a jolly way.

'You know me, Chris,' she said with a small smile and entered the office.

'I was going over the case again. Want to help me?' he asked, already knowing the answer.

'I'd like to.'

Forty minutes later, both Lily and the DA Chris Shultzer were on their way to the courthouse.

Things were going really well so far. Chris had won the jury's heart at the opening statement and the witnesses had been convincing. Now it was time for Lily to get on the stand. She didn't want to recall those awful memories and feelings but she had to. So she stood up and walked to the stand where she swore to tell the truth. She sat and Chris started the questioning.

She told the story and when it came to that morning in which she thought she was going to die, they did a reconstruction. It was really accurate, leaving no details out. Now it was the other lawyer's turn to ask the questions.

'Ms. Stewart, how does it feel being on the other side of the stand?'

'Let's say I like the other side better.'

'According to your reconstruction Mr. Dusby and you had a nasty fight.'

'Yes.'

'And we've been hearing for more than twenty minutes about your _ugly_ bruises, but what about my client's scars? The ones you inflicted on him?'

'Oh, yes, how could I do that to him? It was so rude of me! To scratch and hit a man who was trying to kill me, what was I thinking?' she said with contempt.

'I was just stating for the record that Mr. Dusby also sustained injuries.'

Lily rolled her eyes.

'Remember that I know all the tricks. Making me look like the guilty one is no use because I didn't do anything _wrong_.'

'I'm appalled Ms. Stewart that you think I'm pulling tricks on you. I'm definitely not.'

She gave him a look that said 'Yeah, right. And I was born yesterday.'

'Let's continue with the questions, shall we?' He paused for a second, 'I'm curious, Ms. Stewart as to why you went to the house. You're one of the best lawyers at the firm, why didn't they send another person?'

'The fact that I'm one of the best lawyers at the firm doesn't mean I don't work hard.'

'You're not answering my question.'

'What I mean is that I don't have special treatment. If any of the partners send me a case, I have to take it.'

'Even at the early hours of the morning?' he asked disbelievingly.

'Some lawyers, unlike others, have extended working hours.'

'Let me congratulate you on your acting talents, Ms. Stewart,' said the lawyer with a smirk.

'I haven't performed since I was at college, Mr. Collins and I doubt you saw me in Romeo and Juliet eight years ago. So, what are you talking about?'

'I'm referring to the reconstruction of that night which sounded pretty much like a sob story to me.'

'Then you should get your ears checked.'

Judge Harris gave her a warning glance.

'I'm still wondering why you didn't cry; it would have been a fantastic end to the acting.'

'The fact that I'm a woman doesn't mean that I'm weak. Even if it _is_ painful to recollect those memories, I'm not going to give _him_ the pleasure of seeing me broken,' she said looking at Dusby. 'I'm wondering why you're focusing your attention on what I may have done wrong and not on your client's innocence, which you seemed really certain of at the beginning of the trial. It's a pity some questions won't be answered,' she said sharply.

His smirk faded for a moment but he recovered quickly.

'Why do you want to put my client on the spotlight so much?', he asked.

'Because he's the one who tried to kill me and is being judged today. Try to put yourself in my shoes (if you can). Even if I don't want to admit it, that man scared me for more than a year and if it wasn't for Don, he would have killed me that day,' she said, losing the harsh tone.

'Isn't it questionable that Detective Flack was the arresting officer seeing that he's a close friend of yours?' Mr. Collins asked with malice.

'Detective Flack is not only a great person and friend but an outstanding member of the force, so please don't accuse him of being a bent cop in my presence.'

'I wasn't saying that. I was just asking you if it's ethical for your boyfriend, with whom you're living together, to arrest the man who was harassing you.'

'Well, just for the record: he's not my boyfriend and if we're living together is because he thought I would be safer form your client living with him.'

'And all the dinners and meetings you had over the past months?'

'We're two school friends who hadn't seen each other for a decade and after a chance encounter decided to rekindle our friendship. As simple as that. Men and women _can_ be friends as long as neither wants to get into the other's pants,' she said giving a pointed look to the attorney.

'No more questions, your Honour,' he said nervously and then recovered, 'seeing as the witness doesn't answer them …'

After Lily's testimony and the ending statements there was a break. She and Chris got out of the courthouse together.

'You can get really nasty if you want to,' said Chris with a smile.

'What are you talking about?' she answered innocently.

'You brought up that incident that Collins had some years ago.'

'The sexual harassment complaint against him filed by his secretary? I didn't bring it up, I just said that even though it's impossible for him, some people _can_ be friends with members of the opposite sex,' Lily paused for a second, 'I've got lots of male friends (you included) and I don't sleep with any of them.'

Chris smiled at her once more but didn't say a word.

They were in the courthouse again, waiting for the jury's verdict. Lily was holding her breath and when the words 'guilty of all charges' reached her ears, she let go of the air she'd been holding.

Chris and Lily were walking towards the front door.

'You were _fantastic_, Chris.'

He shrugged.

'You really were. Want to come to my place tonight? I'll cook dinner and we can catch up.'

'What about the detective you live with?'

'Oh, I'm sure he won't mind if you join us for dinner.'

He nodded a bit reluctantly.

They had gotten to the door and they parted with a smile and a 'See you tonight.'

Evening came and Lily was cooking. Before putting it on the oven she went to change. She decided on a blue satin strapless dress and blue shoes. When Flack arrived, twenty minutes later, her hair was in a bun and her jewellery was on, as well as her make up.

When he saw her all dressed up he was nonplussed for a bit.

'Going somewhere?', he asked with difficulty, still not taking his eyes off her.

'No, a friend's going to join us for dinner, hope you don't mind.'

He shook his head.

'One of '_The girls_'?' Flack asked with a smile forming on his lips.

'No. You're _not_ going to meet them.'

'Why not?'

'Because you like women too much, Donny,' she explained. 'My friends don't need a man like you.'

'A man like me?'

'Someone who'll break their hearts.'

'Lily, I …'

'That's alright, Don,' she interrupted, 'it's who you are. But don't expect me to take my friends into a death trap. We both know you can't resist.'

Flack didn't know what to answer, so he changed topic.

'A male friend of yours is coming?'

Lily nodded.

'Don't you think that dress is a little too low cut?' he asked concerned.

She looked down at her chest and said no.

'Is it a date? I mean, should I go to the restaurant in the corner?'

'I would never kick you out of you apartment. And it isn't a date.'

Before any of them could speak again, the doorbell rang. Lily moved to the door and opened it. She motioned the man to come in and that's when Flack saw him.

He was a bit shorter than him and slimmer. The man had brown hair and eyes of the same colour which were covered by glasses and he was wearing a black suit and a striped shirt. In one of his hands he carried a bag.

'Don, this is Chris,' Lily introduced them.

Both men shook hands.

Chris suddenly remembered the bag in his hand and gave it to Lily.

'I brought wine,' he explained.

She left the bottle at the table and told him to make himself comfortable. Lily sat on the couch and Chris sat beside her, leaving Don to sit at the armchair.

'You look wonderful,' said Chris. 'You're the girl in blue, just like when I met you.'

'Thanks,' she said and blushed a little. 'I met Chris when I was working as a legal aid for the NYPD, six years ago,' she explained to Flack.

'And what do you do?' Flack asked the other man.

'I'm a State Attorney. And you?'

'I'm a first grade Homicide Detective.'

When dinner was ready they moved to the table and ate. Flack gave Chris a hard time. He was in the 'tough detective' mode. After coffee, Chris left and Lily confronted Flack.

'What's wrong with you?', she asked him, quite angry.

He raised his eyebrows. This made her angrier.

'Chris is my friend and a charming man; you have no right to treat him that way.'

'In which way?'

'Like if he was one of your suspects.'

'He's not charming. He's an arrogant idiot,' said Flack, his temper rising.

'How could you know? You judged him from the moment he walked through the door, you didn't give him a chance!'

'I gave him a chance and discovered he's an idiot,' he answered.

'Why did you behave like this?' she asked, her eyes showing she was hurt.

'You really want to know?' he asked angrily.

'Yes.'

'Because …' he paused, doubting if he should continue or not but keeping the anger in his tone, 'Because …'

* * *

_Thanks for reading! I ended this chapter with a cliffie to see if I can get a response from you. You can review to make suggestions, tell me your opinion, say it was really mean of me to leave a cliffie, to say: I hated this chapter or I loved it; anything. Prepare for next chapter (which is almost done)._

Chapter six - Vendetta

Where Hawkes is in trouble and Lily helps him. Where Mac is the key to the mystery. And where you discover Don's reasons to be mad at Chris.

_LaUrIsHa-just me_


	6. Vendetta

**Special thanks to sparkyCSI, my wonderful beta. Where would I be without your help?**

* * *

Chapter 6 – Vendetta

'Because you look really beautiful in that dress and I hate it that you dressed like that for _him_. And he's condescending because he's a D.A. What's the big deal? The guy sits on _my_ couch and flirts with you openly in my face. I had to put up with his smirk when you laughed at one of his stupid jokes. I saw the way he looked at you as if you were a piece of meat and the way his eyes went to your chest every few seconds. You deserve better than that. You're a nice and smart person, not just a body. Are those good enough reasons for you?' he made his speech with his eyes lowered but looked up at Lily after saying the last word.

'So … you were jealous?' she asked disbelievingly.

He shrugged and lowered his eyes again.

'Donny, look at me.' She lifted his chin with her hand, task that was easier due to the fact that they were sitting on the couch. 'Is it true? Everything you said?'

He kept silent.

She looked at him in the eyes.

'I need you to tell me, did you mean it?' she asked softly. 'Because he's just a friend. And it's all he'll ever be.'

Flack didn't answer but leant forward and trapped her lips with his. When they broke the kiss he ran a hand through his hair but neither dared to break the silence. What they did was wrong and they wouldn't do it again.

The following day, Lily met '_The girls_' in Mary's place.

'So, Lil, sweetheart, what's the problem?' asked a brunette called Emily.

'Yeah, you sounded worried,' added Mary.

Lily told her friends what had happened up to the point when she asked him if he meant it.

'What did he answer?' asked the always anxious Meredith.

'Nothing.'

'He didn't answer?' asked the redhead called Elizabeth.

'He kissed me,' said Lily and bit her lip.

'Was I right? Is he a good kisser?' asked Mary.

She nodded and spoke.

'That's not the point, Mary. It was wrong.'

'Why? You're both single,' said Elizabeth.

'Lisa's right,' supported Mary.

'But we're friends! These things shouldn't happen between friends!' interjected Lily.

'Maybe you should give him a chance, see if a relationship works out,' suggested Emily.

'I know it won't work out, Em.'

'Why not?', asked Emily again.

'Because he loves women and flirting. You know, a smile here, a wink there. And I'm relationship-challenged.' She put her head in her hands and added, 'Besides, sometimes I defend his suspects and if that strains a friendship, imagine what it would do to a relationship.'

'If he's so flirtatious and you're so shy you could balance each other, you know?' said Meredith.

'And you should put aside your jobs,' said Mary.

'We're both really into our jobs, they are who we are, we can't put them aside,' explained Lily.

'I just say you should try,' answered her blonde friend.

Lily sighed.

'I don't know what to do! How do I look at him next time we see each other? Remember we live together.'

'Maybe you should pretend everything's normal,' said Lisa with a tinge of sarcasm.

'Since when kissing a good friend of yours (who is also your roommate for the time being) is normal?' spoke Lily with desperation.

'See it from a different angle: why should kissing a cute man, who has the hots for you, be considered weird?' asked Mary.

'So he's hot?' asked Meredith.

'Oh, you should see him, Mer! He's got that manly look, you know, from being a detective and everything. And his eyes! God! They're gorgeous and his smile …'

'Could you stop it, Mary? You're making me feel even worse, if that's possible.'

'Any chance you'll introduce us?' asked Lisa.

'No! I don't want any of you to get involved with him. He'll break your hearts.'

'That's the problem, then? You're afraid of getting hurt?' spoke Emily.

Lily looked at her.

'I hate the fact that you're a psychologist. You always get things right,' she whined and Emily couldn't repress a smile or the sentence that came out of her mouth next.

'That's why I'm paid the big money for.'

'So … what should I do?'

'You should pretend nothing happened,' said Meredith sensibly.

'And pray tell, how on earth should I do that?'

'Aren't you always commenting on your fantastic acting abilities?' asked Lisa.

'Maybe I'm not that good?' said Lily with a smile.

'Of course you are, you'll do it just fine,' encouraged her Mary.

Lily sighed and looked at her watch.

'I should be going, girls. I want to take a long bath before he comes home. Thanks for the advice and the support,' said Lily and after saying bye, she went home.

She got there twenty minutes after and prepared the tub for the really wonderful and luxurious bath she was going to have. Once inside, she left her mind wander and relaxed. When the water was getting cold, she got out and put on her nightwear. Now more relaxed and calmed than before, she strolled to the living room and watched TV.

After a while, Flack came home with a worried look.

'What's the matter?' she asked him.

He didn't talk.

'Donny, you're scaring me, what's the problem?' her voice was etched with concern.

He sighed.

'There's a situation at the Precinct. Hawkes is accused of tampering evidence and stealing things from the lab. He has the prelim in five days.'

'Is there a chance he did it?'

'No. Mac is very careful and he protects the lab's integrity at any cost. There was a detective, not so long ago who almost tampered with evidence. Mac fired her straight away. He wouldn't tolerate it. Besides, Hawkes is an honest and smart man he'd never do it.'

'Are you sure? Sometimes we think we know people and then they prove us wrong.'

He shook his head.

'Does he have a lawyer yet?'

'Don't know.'

'Is he in custody?'

'Not yet, they don't have much evidence, but enough to accuse him,' he told her.

'Good. Give me his number.'

'What? Why?'

'I want to take his case,' she said simply.

'He can't pay you; we don't earn that much money.'

'I don't care about money, I've got enough. If you're so convinced this man is innocent and you're so worried about him I'll take his case. I'll make sure he has the best defense possible,' said Lily determinedly.

'You'd do it for _me_?'

'You're my friend and I don't like you being worried so if I can help you, I'll do everything in my power.'

He gave her Hawkes' number and she called him right away.

'Hello. Can I speak to Dr. Hawkes, please? … Good evening, I'm Lillian Stewart, I'm a lawyer and I'd like to take your case … Why? Well, you see, I'm Don Flack's friend and he's certain you're innocent. I want to prove it … Don't worry Dr. Hawkes, we'll discuss that later. I'd like to meet you as soon as possible to start preparing your defense … I'll be there in half an hour. Bye.'

She hung up and went to the bedroom to change. She got out after five minutes and grabbed her briefcase.

'I've got to meet Dr. Hawkes,' she said while putting her jacket on.

Flack nodded.

'I'll give you a ride. Where are you meeting?'

'At a café in Central Park.'

Lily arrived earlier as she hadn't had to wait for the metro and sat at a table. She ordered a cappuccino and waited. Hawkes arrived ten minutes later.

'Lillian Stewart?' he asked the young woman.

She nodded.

'Dr. Hawkes?'

Now it was his turn to nod. They shook hands and he sat down.

The waitress asked for his order and came a few minutes later, with a cup of coffee.

'So, what happened?' asked Lily in a business like tone.

'I don't know,' said Hawkes honestly. 'I was working on a case when Mac called me to his office and told me there were charges against me.'

'What do they accuse you of?'

'Tampering evidence and stealing supplies from the lab.'

'In which case?'

'The Perry case. It was a crime of passion; Mrs. Perry was killed by her husband's mistress. Stabbed three times to the chest, the mistress' prints and blood on the hilt of the knife which belonged to the Perry household. Open and shut.'

'So why are they accusing you of tampering evidence?' Lily was puzzled.

'We seal the envelopes with a tape. Sometimes it isn't sticky enough and it doesn't paste itself completely. The envelope with the murder weapon was slightly opened.'

'You analyzed the knife, didn't you?'

He nodded.

'Wouldn't it be simpler for you to take off the tape completely and seal the envelope all over again? And what, are they implying you planted the fingerprint on the knife?'

'And the blood.'

'So you took a blood sample from her, only God knows how and planted it on the knife? It's simply stupid,' she laughed.

Hawkes nodded.

'What have you supposedly stolen?'

'Some chemicals that are used to test for blood.'

'_Why_ would you want those?'

He shrugged.

'I didn't do it. I'm going to be sent to jail and I'm going to lose my job when I'm completely innocent.'

'You work for it, Dr. Hawkes, have some faith in the Justice System. I think there's something nasty in here, but we'll figure it out.'

They kept on talking. When the second mug of coffee had been drunk, both of them went home.

As part of the defense, Lily had to investigate in the Crime Lab. She asked Flack to introduce her to Sheldon's boss. He took her to the lab and walked her to Mac's office. She knocked on the door and Mac motioned them to come in.

'Mac, this is Lily; she wants to ask some questions. This is Detective Mac Taylor,' Flack introduced them.

They shook hands.

Flack left them alone and Mac told her to sit down.

Lily asked Mac about the regulations of the lab, Hawkes' work ethic and a bit about his life. They also talked about the case against Hawkes and the case she was going to build.

'Something's not right and I'll find out what,' Lily told Mac.

'Be careful, this prosecutor, Atkin isn't one to play by the rules. We got into quite an argument some years ago. He wanted us to lie and say the evidence pointed to one guy when actually two people were involved. We didn't do it and he lost his case.'

Their conversation was solemn, serious and both demonstrated great respect for the other. After a while they stood up and shook hands before she left Mac's office. Some time later Lily finished interviewing Sheldon's colleagues and left the building.

Lily stood up, her heels clicking on the floor as she strolled confidently around the room.

'When this case came to me, my first reaction was surprise. Why would an accomplished doctor and CSI tamper with evidence and risk everything he's worked for? Why would an honest and ethic man change his values and steal? I talked to his co-workers and to his boss and they all agreed on the same thing: Dr. Hawkes is a good, hard working man.

Lily entered the office and he told her to sit down.

'Honestly, Danny, what's your opinion of Dr. Hawkes?' she asked.

'Great man.'

'Detective Bonasera, what do you have to say about your colleague?'

'A hard working man, committed to the job, nice, caring. He's a fantastic investigator.'

'I don't think he did it. He doesn't have a motive. Sheldon works to help people,' were Lindsay's words.

'He worked on the morgue for several years. He was very respected, thorough, with a great knowledge of anatomy. A shame he went to the field. He's like a friend I had in school, always the teacher's pet …'

'Thank you, Sid,' she interrupted him.

'Dr. Hawkes is an honest man, a great addition to the team. I'm glad he's one of our investigators,' said Mac.

Then I proceeded to look at the evidence which, according to the prosecutor, beyond reasonable doubt suggests Dr. Hawkes tampered with evidence and stole supplies from the lab. I discussed my doubts, questions and concerns with Detective Mac Taylor since I don't know much about forensics and we reached a conclusion: the evidence was circumstantial. Nothing really pointed to Dr. Hawkes. Nothing really pointed to tampered evidence. So a question arose; why the eagerness to condemn Dr. Hawkes? Why was there such a rush to imprison him?' she paused and draw breath, her shoes still clicking against the marble floor.

'When I was at college I was taught that investigation's the lawyer's best weapon. Investigation can make or break a case. So that's what I did: I investigated. I found I was asking the wrong questions. The right question wasn't why Dr. Hawkes but why a member of one of the best Crime Labs in the country? New York's Crime Lab is respected for its integrity and has a reputation that precedes it. The Department wouldn't look good with an accusation like this. As I said before, I researched. I'd love to share my discoveries with you,' she stopped to give a dramatic effect. 'During my talk with Detective Taylor he told me a crucial piece of information. Neither of us realized it at the moment but later, going over it in my head I found I had the missing piece of the puzzle. The accusations against Dr. Hawkes were means of revenge. Taking revenge on Detective Taylor. The prosecutor has a vendetta against him.'

The people in the room gasped and the prosecutor remained silent.

'Mr. Atkin had a fight with Detective Taylor some years ago over a case and has never really gotten over it. Now it was his turn to take revenge. So he seized the opportunity and pressed charges against Dr. Hawkes who is, I'm afraid, as guilty as I am. He's a scapegoat. The tape which sealed the envelope containing the evidence was faulty and the chemicals were used but the technicians didn't registered the depletion. It was all a giant confusion. That's why I state, your honor, that there's not evidence against Dr. Hawkes and no criminal trial should be proceeded.'

Hawkes and Lily were getting out of court.

'Thank you,' he said softly.

'That's what I do for fun, you know? Get justice for innocent people,' she smiled.

'Thanks. For everything.'

'Stop it already! If you have to thank someone thank your boss. Detective Taylor gave me the clue,' she said honestly.

'Can I buy you dinner or something?' he asked.

'There's no need.'

'As a payment of sorts.'

She smiled. 'It's payment enough if you keep catching murderers.'

He nodded in understanding.

'Besides, I'm always glad to help a member of the force. Haven't really gotten over my days as a legal aid for the NYPD.'

'I'll keep that in mind.'

They were outside the building and each was going different ways. He hugged her briefly. She was stiff at first but then relaxed and returned the hug.

'I heard about your performance today,' said Flack, 'thanks.'

'As I told Sheldon, helping people is a hobby of mine,' she shrugged and smiled.

'I've got a present for you,' she raised her eyebrows. 'You were great, a good friend and I think you deserve it,' he explained.

Flack took a box out of his pocket and handed it to her.

'You shouldn't have. I did it for you and Sheldon without expecting anything in return,' Lily told him in her no-nonsense tone.

'Least you could do is open it …'

She did as she was told and grinned when she saw what it was. 'Six Flack coupons?' she asked amused.

'Yeah, well …' a faint blush spread through his cheeks.

'Can I use them for anything I want?' she asked playfully.

Flack was a bit taken aback by the implications but realized she wasn't talking about _that_. _As if she would want to do that with _me_!_ And he nodded, beating himself up for having that thought.

'So, you'll help me move?' she asked.

'Yes. But on the weekend, alright?'

'Fair enough. You'll need your rest to carry all the boxes,' she winked.

_

* * *

__Thanks to those who have been reading! Please, do leave a review. I want to know who you are and what you think of this fic. If you have suggestions, comments, ideas, anything you want to say._

_LaUrIsHa-just me_


	7. Fire

Chapter 7 – Fire

Flack got to his place after a hard day of work to an interesting sight. In his living room Lily was playing cards with an eight year old boy.

'Something you haven't told me?' he asked jokingly.

'Don, this is Josh. He's Lisa's son. I'm taking care of him while she's working. You don't mind, do you? If not I can take him to my place.'

'No, no, it's alright. So, what are you playing?'

'Poker. It's great training for when you're at court. But you can't play.'

'Why not?'

'You're going to beat us mercilessly.'

'Not confident in your abilities?' he teased and grinned.

'Just overconfident in yours,' she grinned too.

Flack joined the game anyway and they played for a while.

Flack turned the cards to reveal a three and a four and Lily uttered 'Ha! I won!' triumphantly.

'Take that, Detective!' she said elated.

'I'm tired, it's been a long day,' said Flack trying to defend himself.

'Excuses, excuses,' she joked and stood up to head to the kitchen.

Without much thought, Flack tackled her to the floor and tickled her.

'Don't make – fun of me,' he said in-between her giggles.

When he stopped tickling her she spoke.

'That was _low_, Don,' she said while straightening her clothes. 'What are you teaching this kid? Revenge is bad.'

Dinner was ready and Flack and Josh sat at the table. Lily came with a pot and served the two boys and herself.

'Lisa told me you liked lasagna,' she was speaking to Josh.

'You made his favourite meal?' asked Flack a bit outraged. 'You never do that to me!'

'Oh, please. It's not like I'm starving you to death or anything …'

'But you _never_ cook my favourite food!' he whined.

She rolled her eyes.

'Poor boy,' said Lily and pinched his cheek.

She returned to the kitchen to leave the apron she was wearing.

'You know it's true, you never spoil me like that, Betty Crocker.'

She laughed heartily and ruffled Flack's hair lovingly.

'Betty Crocker?' asked Josh.

'She is a character who is a fantastic cook. Don's being mean to me,' explained Lily.

They talked animatedly through dinner and when they finished they started playing Monopoly. Half-way through the game the doorbell rang. Flack opened the door.

'Sorry sir, I gotta check on the pipes, see if the leak's comin' from here,' said a fat man carrying a toolbox.

Flack moved to the side and the man saw the other two playing Monopoly.

'Josh? What ya doin' here?' he asked.

Lily looked at the man and her face paled.

'Josh, go to the bedroom now,' she said in a steely voice and the boy obeyed. 'What are you doing here, Rob?'

'Come to fix the leak and find my son with ya. Lisa got tired of him?'

'The leak isn't coming from here, so go away. I'm babysitting Josh tonight because Lisa's got to work, you know, since she's a single mother and all,' Lily spoke coldly.

'I'm takin' my boy with me,' the man said and walked towards the bedroom.

'Hell no!' was the woman's response as she stood in his way.

'I'm takin' him, I'm his dad,' he gave a step forward.

'Over my dead body!'

Flack got to where the man was standing but couldn't prevent him from shoving Lily.

'Hey, _pal_, not in my place. Give you ten seconds to get out or I'll send you downtown and press charges,' his tone was fierce and clearly said 'don't mess with me'.

The guy shoved Flack instead. Both men got in a fight which Flack won eventually. He called Dispatch and a car got there quickly, taking Rob to the Precinct.

Lily was sitting in the couch, her head in her hands.

'You deserve an explanation … Lisa's greatest mistake was to marry Rob nine years ago. He started beating her a month after Josh was born. I got her the divorce three months later and she's been raising Josh as a single mother. The problem is, once in a while Rob comes and ruins everything. I'm really sorry, Don.'

'Wasn't your fault,' he assured her.

She lifted her eyes, looked at Flack and spoke. 'I thought he was going to take him, you know? The boy was under my care, what would I have told Lisa?'

'But he didn't. No way in hell he'd take him under my nose,' Flack told her gruffly.

Lily started to cry silently. Flack sat beside her and hugged her, muttering 'it's alright'. After some minutes she stood up.

'I'm going to check on Josh.'

It was time to go to bed and Flack, Lily and Josh were watching TV.

'Okay, sweetie, time to go to sleep,' Lily stood up and walked to the room with Josh. A few minutes later she came out and closed the door.

'The boy's already tucked in.'

She sat on the couch with her knees to her chest and pulled the blanket over her. Flack draped his arm over her shoulders and she snuggled closer to him. In that same position they fell asleep a moment later, the TV laid forgotten.

It was late at night and Danny and Flack were having a beer on the latter's living room.

'I don't think you've got a chance,' said Danny, 'you've lost the last four games. We're so going to beat you.'

The door of the bedroom opened and clad in only a red nightdress Lily stepped out. She walked to the kitchen and saw the two men talking.

'Hey, Danny,' she said softly.

He returned the greeting and the men kept talking.

'That's where you're wrong, Messer. _We_'re going to win,' said Flack vaguely, watching the woman out of the corner of his eye.

Danny snickered. Flack started ranting about how good the team was, not taking his eyes off her figure. When Lily finished the glass of water she went back to the bedroom, muttering a soft 'goodnight'.

'Asked her out already?' Danny inquired.

'What?'

'Don't play dumb, Flack. Saw how you had your eyes on her the whole time.'

'What are you talking about?'

'She has a nice body, you've got to give her that.'

Flack nodded reluctantly.

'I'm just saying, if a woman like her was parading around my place half naked, I would have taken her a long time ago.'

'Hey! Watch it.'

'It was just a suggestion,' Danny defended himself. 'She's not my type, anyway. Women with broad hips are your thing.'

'That doesn't mean every time I see a woman with broad hips I jump at her.'

'At least admit you think she's hot.'

Flack didn't speak.

'C'mon, admit it. Say it: 'I think she's sexy'.'

Flack glared at Danny, who smiled.

'You know I'm right. You're dying to take her to bed but don't know how.'

'I've got more game than you, Messer.'

'You wish! Look, if a woman like her feels comfortable enough with you to walk around in only a nightie, it means she wants you to take action.'

'Or maybe she feels comfortable walking around like that because she knows I'm not going to attack her.'

Danny rolled his eyes, knowing that it was useless to argue with his friend and that he'd eventually come around.

'Please remember you're helping me move tomorrow,' she told him as he was leaving the apartment.

As if he would forget! He was dreading that moment. He had gotten used to living with another human being and wasn't so sure he wanted to live alone again. Even if sometimes they had disagreements, Flack knew he'd missed Lily a lot. And he'd miss the feminine touch too, though he would never admit it. But, alas, life goes on and there were no more excuses to make her stay with him. Or were there? _Her flat _could_ blow up_. _Nah, I'm not that lucky. Besides, I'd have to pull a triple shift. _He drove to work that morning thinking about all those heavy boxes he'd have to carry, not even dreaming what awaited.

'Please remember you're helping me move tomorrow,' she told him as he was leaving the apartment.

She sighed as he closed the door. Lily knew she'd miss getting home to another person. Because even if Don didn't arrive until four in the morning, she knew he'd get there in the end. She was already hating the thought of a lonely apartment. Despite the fact that her place was bigger and warmer and closer to work than Don's, she liked sharing her life with someone. Just as she had _loved_ sharing a dorm back in college. Lily laughed to herself as her mind was flooded by memories of her college years. She shook her smile away and headed for the subway.

She spent the whole trip thinking how she would miss the manly environment; that every time she'd turn on the TV it was on ESPN, or that when she entered the bathroom in the morning she could smell his nice cologne, or the way some mornings a sexy and disheveled man came to wake her up (in case she hadn't heard the alarm) rubbing his eyes like a toddler. _A sexy man? What's wrong with me? Mary's a bad influence. _Lily didn't have much time to dwell on her thoughts; she had arrived at her destination.

Lily had fallen asleep on the couch. A noise woke her up at two in the morning. At first she couldn't identify it, but as her mind cleared, realized it was the doorbell. She opened the door to an interesting sight. There, on the hallway, was Danny supporting a drunk Flack.

'Danny? What happened?' asked Lily, still asleep.

'Rough day, he'll explain to you later.'

Danny entered the apartment and guided his friend to the bedroom, getting him on the bed.

'I'll take it from here, thanks,' she told him.

After Messer had gone she returned to the bedroom, where Flack seemed to be sleeping soundly.

Lily sighed and took off his shoes. She also removed his shirt and pants, not wanting to get on his bad side the following morning if his clothes were wrinkled. She moved the sheets to the side and pushed his body farther into the bed. She fetched the sheets and pulled them over him. Kneeling on the other side of the bed, she leaned over Flack to tuck him in. He opened his eyes for a moment, moved his hand clumsily over her butt and put it down again.

'Eww! That was wrong in _so_ many levels,' she said and after putting him on his side, sat on the other section of the bed.

The following morning Flack woke up with a terrible headache and made a grunting noise which he later regretted.

In came Lily with an aspirin and a glass of water. She sat on the corner of the bed as he propped himself up and gave them to him. He gave her a thankful look.

'How are you feeling?' she asked.

He grunted again.

'That well, huh?' she patted his knee. 'I'll be preparing lunch, feel free to join me if you like.'

Lily left the room.

Ten minutes later he came out. She was sitting at the table.

'Want to join me? I'll make you a sandwich in a minute,' she smiled.

He nodded and sat at the table with his head on his hands. A few minutes passed and she returned with a plate for him. He looked up.

'Thanks.'

'Want to tell me what happened?' Lily asked softly.

'Yesterday we investigated the death of one of our own. Aiden was a detective who worked on Mac's team but she was fired some time ago. We found her body,' he took a breath, '_and_ her killer,' he finished proudly.

She put her hand over his.

'That's not all, is it?' she asked softly.

'Not gonna lie to you, it's been lots of thing. First Danny's brother, then Stella, after that it was Hawkes and now Aiden … It's been too much. I mean, who's next?'

'Nobody's going to be next. Think positive, things will get better,' she ran a hand down his cheek, her other hand still over his.

They ate in silence.

'I don't remember much about last night. Why was I only clad in my boxers?'

'It was my doing.' He raised his eyebrows. 'I mean, I did it because I know how snappy you are if your clothes get wrinkles,' Lily clarified as she blushed.

'And, um, if I did what I think I did last night, I'm … I'm really sorry,' he apologized blushing furiously.

'Don't worry, you were drunk, I understand. Didn't take it too seriously,' she said looking away.

It was a very awkward moment, interrupted by Flack.

'So, about your moving … ?'

'Well it was supposed to be today, but you're in no state to help me, so I guess we'll leave it for tomorrow.'

'Sunday it is, then.'

They were both glad she was moving out soon. These awkward moments _had_ to stop. Thankfully, it would be over soon. However, although they didn't know it, fate had other plans for them.

_

* * *

__Okay guys, here's the seventh chapter. I know I've been MIA for a while, but life's been crazy with my mid-year tests and everything. And since I didn't get any reviews, I don't feel that motivated ... By the way, I'm travelling to New York this Spring Break. Any suggestions to what I could do?_

_Brace yourselves for the next chapter:_

_Chapter 8 - Exploding_

_LaUrIsHa-just me_

_P.S. As usual; thanks to **sparkyCSI** for her wonderful beta skills. Don't know what I'd do without you._


	8. Exploding

This chapter is loosely based on episode 2x24 - Charge of This Post which is not part of my creation. I'd never hurt Flack! The song Open Your Eyes belongs to Snow Patrol.

* * *

Chapter 8 – Exploding

It was a beautiful Sunday morning, it was springtime in the city. Lily was finishing packing up and Flack was having a shower. Suddenly, the silence was broken by a phone ringing: it was his cell phone. Lily picked it up and got to the bathroom. He opened the door and extended his hand. Clearly, they had gone through this routine before.

Ten minutes later Flack got out of the bathroom.

'I got called in, sorry,' he said with an apologetic look.

'Guess it'll have to wait …'

'Crime never stops, Lily, you know that. I'll be back near five, I'll help you move then.'

'Have a nice day,' she waved.

Five, quarter past five, half past, six o'clock. She was fuming. She ought to have known; Don would arrive two or three hours after he promised saying the case had gotten complicated and that he was sorry. Lily turned on the TV and lost herself in a Boston Legal rerun.

Half past six, quarter to seven. She was getting really, really angry. At seven, seeing as he hadn't arrived, she decided to call him. She got that annoying message saying it was currently unavailable, to try back later. She tossed the phone on the table near her.

At 19:25 (according to the clock on her cell) the phone rang.

'Hello?' she said gruffly.

'Lily, hey. Danny Messer speaking. I wanted to tell you that he got out of surgery. We're still waiting to see what happens.'

'Danny, what the hell are you talking about?'

'Flack. He got out of the OR.'

'What?! What happened?' she asked alarmed.

'There was an explosion on the crime scene this afternoon, he got pretty hurt. Nobody called you?' the man explained.

'No. What hospital?'

Danny answered and hung up. Lily grabbed her jacket and her purse and left the apartment quickly. After fifteen minutes which seemed hours to her, she got to the hospital. A flight of stairs, a right turn, then a left one and she saw Mac and Danny sitting on a bench.

'How is he?' she asked breathlessly after almost running to get there.

'Still on coma. We don't know if everything's alright yet, the neurological evaluation is tomorrow morning,' answered Mac.

Lily buried her face in her hands. Danny hugged her. She broke the embrace and directed her steps to the room.

'I don't think you should go in, he was badly injured,' Mac advised her.

She entered the room anyway. Lily approached the bed slowly and sat at the chair next to Flack's sleeping form. She carefully held his hand, fearing that if she wasn't careful enough he'd break. She caressed his now cold skin and shivered more from dread than chill. What if he didn't open his eyes? What if he … if he died?

Now was the first time she noticed his bandages. They were all over his face and neck and she cringed a bit. How could this have happened to him? He was really good at his job, surely he would have noticed a bomb and stayed away, right?

_All this feels strange and untrue _

_And I won't waste a minute without you _

_My bones ache, my skin feels cold _

_And I'm getting so tired and so old_

She was still in shock. _How_ could this have happened? A moment ago he had been apologizing for having to leave and now … now he was laying there, cold and bruised.

Mac had entered the room a moment before to take her out, let her take some air but she had refused. Not if Don was still in a coma. She had read that people in comatose state reacted to stimuli, so it was important to talk to them, make them know someone was there, waiting for them to wake up again. Besides, Lily didn't know if she was capable of moving. She felt as if fifty years had fallen on her, she was tired both physically due to sitting next to him for three hours and emotionally caused by seeing him like that.

_The anger swells in my guts _

_And I won't feel these slices and cuts _

_I want so much to open your eyes _

'_Cause I need you to look into mine_

Danny wanted some minutes alone with Flack so she waited outside. Hawkes was there too. He asked her if she was okay and she shook her head.

'You know what the worst part is? He was supposed to come home at five and help me move. When he didn't come I thought he was being his usual workaholic self and got angry, really angry at him and disappointed too. Not even for a minute did I imagine he could have been hurt. I was selfish and now, if he doesn't make it, how will I live with it? Knowing that he was one of my best friends and I was angry at him while he was suffering and dying? I need him to wake up, to tell Don how much he means to me,' she started sobbing and Hawkes enveloped her in a hug.

Danny left the room and Lily got back to the chair next to Flack. She held his hand again.

'Please open your eyes,' she whispered.

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

She whispered that sentence over and over.

There was a knock on the door and Mac came in. He sat next to Lily.

'I'll keep guard, go and have a coffee or something, take some fresh air.'

'Mac, I …'

'Go,' he encouraged her.

She stood up reluctantly, knowing that it was useless to argue with the ex-marine.

'Anything happens, I'll be on my cell, okay? Call me.'

If she hadn't gone to the coffee shop opposite the hospital and sit in a bench to drink, she would have seen how Flack squeezed Mac's hand.

_Get up, get out, get away from these liars _

'_Cause they don't get your soul or your fire _

_Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine _

_And we'll walk from this dark room for the last __time_

The doctor had said that it was possible he couldn't get back to work once he had woken up. But Lily had faith in him. She knew how he loved his job and his life and knew he'd fight to get both of them back. She wished, at least for a second he'd take her hand, let her know he was conscious. However, it didn't happen. His hand was still stiff and cold between her own.

_Every minute from this minute now _

_We can do what we like anywhere _

_I want so much to open your eyes_

'_Cause __I need you to look into__ mine_

Lily wanted him to come round. If he did, she'd make sure he had anything he wanted. She'd cook his favorite meals and spoil him like a grandma would a grandson. She would do anything if it meant he opened his eyes.

'Please, Don. I want to see your beautiful blue eyes again, I want to drown in them over and over again, don't deny me that,' she pleaded. 'I'll even spend one of those Flack coupons if you open them.'

Lily buried her face in her arms.

'I need to tell you everything you mean to me.'

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

'C'mon, Don! Wake up. I _need_ you to wake up.'

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

'You know, seeing you here made me remember. Remember high school, remember how good you've been to me in the past and in the last few months. And I _really_ want to make it up to you. But I can't do that if you're unconscious, so wake up honey. Let me return the favor,' she sighed.

All this feels strange and untrue

_And I won't waste a minute without you_

'By the way, I'm not moving, I'm staying with you until you get better, so you don't have to worry about carrying all those boxes.'

'Good,' came his reply in a low and raspy voice.

She filled a plastic cup with water and took it to his lips.

'Hey, Donny. Are you feeling better?' she asked softly.

He nodded and she leant forward to press the button and call a nurse. A nurse and a doctor came and after stating everything was okay, they left.

'You got us really worried you know? I've already talked to Danny and Mac, told them you'd woken up. They will be here as soon as they can.'

Flack nodded.

Lily sighed in relief and smiled. 'I'm glad you're okay. For a moment I thought you were never going to …'

'But I did. I'm alright,' he said with his raspy voice and coughed.

She put a finger to his lips to stop him from talking.

'You'll have a lot of time to explain to me why you always have to be a hero. Right now you have to rest.'

He fell asleep after ten minutes, Lily's hand still entwined with his. When he woke up some time later, he saw she had dozed off. Flack squeezed her hand and she opened her eyes.

'Sorry to wake you,' he said.

'I wasn't sleeping that soundly, don't worry. When you get out of this hospital, I'm booking a whole body massage. I feel as if I were sixty; all my muscles are aching.'

'How long have you been here?'

'Since the day of the accident. But Danny dragged me home twice and Mac made me get some air a few times.'

'What about your job?'

'Oh, it seems I had lots of vacation and sick days. Five months, actually,' she blushed under his gaze. 'Well, you know I _am_ a workaholic …'

'Don't have to waste your holidays when I'm in the hospital.'

'You're my friend, Don, it's the least I could do.'

'I'm better, you can leave now.'

'If you don't want me here I'll leave, but I had to be with you. I had to see you open your eyes and know you'll get better, hold your hand, be by your side.'

'I don't want you to leave but I understand if you have to. You're a busy woman, it's only logical …'

'God! You truly think I'd be here if I didn't want to? I want to help you through this Don, I really do.'

Lily opened the door of their apartment and let Flack enter first. He was going to sit on the couch when she directed him to the bedroom.

'You haven't recovered yet. Now you'll go change and lie down and if you need any help you call me, okay?'

'Yes, _mom_!' he answered, to which she rolled her eyes.

'No way!' refused Flack.

'Don, you can't do it by yourself! You need help.'

'I can do it alone,' he assured her.

'The doctor said you had to be careful and I don't want you going back to the hospital anytime soon. Besides, admit it: it hurts even when you're not moving.'

'Yeah, a bit. Do you really have to do this?' he asked with a pained expression.

'If you want I can call Danny and ask him to come and help you, I don't mind.'

'Hell no! Are you sure you want to do this? It's not necessary …' he tried to convince her one more time.

'Don, I've been having showers by myself since I was five and I think I'm not half bad at it. And even if it's hard to believe, I've seen naked men before, you've got nothing to worry.'

'We're friends, don't you think it'll be weird?'

'Well, if you're uncomfortable with the idea, you could desist from showering today and we'll hire a nurse tomorrow.'

'I can't wait any longer.'

'Then you'll have to let me do it. It's not like we'll be close or anything, I'll be on the outside of the shower.'

'I get cold when the door isn't closed,' he told her.

'Who's the girl?' she asked while rolling her eyes.

'Why can you wear a swimsuit and I have to be naked?' asked Flack with his boxers still on.

'Because I'm not the one having a shower.'

'I think it would only be fair if you were naked too. Not that the swimsuit leaves much to the imagination but …'

'Don't push it, Flack. Now get out of your boxers and into the shower before I change my mind and call Danny.'

He obeyed and she stepped into the shower.

Thank God he was in bed again. Flack had never thought having a shower with a woman could be so embarrassing and painful. He had suffered every second of the whole ten minutes it had taken her to wash his body. If he thought that had been terrible, he didn't know what was coming. He took the phone Lily was giving to him and answered it.

'Hey Flack, how are you feeling?' Danny said in a cheerful tone.

'Good.'

'Of course you are. After the shower you've had!' he laughed a bit.

'She told you?' asked a really embarrassed Flack.

'Yeah. Seemed pretty upset about your reaction. Wouldn't mind being you …'

'It was one of the worst moments ever.'

'Obviously, having a beautiful half-naked woman give you a bath is something horrible.'

'It wasn't pleasant. She saw me naked, for God sake's!'

'I'm sure you have nothing to be ashamed of.'

Flack grunted and hang up. He was never going to live this one down, was he? And a more important question: how was he going to look at her in the eye ever again?

'Sometimes I'm such an idiot that it surprises me,' said Lily to Emily on the phone.

'What happened, sweetheart?' the other woman asked.

Lily told her friend the story.

'You did what?' she asked amused and laughed.

'Yeah, that's how stupid I am.'

'Why did you do it?'

'When I said I wanted to help him through this I really meant it. Guess I felt guilty you know, he's been so good to me, I wanted to give something back …'

'If you wanted it so bad you could have asked him to have sex with you, don't think he would have refused.'

Lily gasped.

'Oh, sorry, I forgot you were a prude.'

'That's not true!'

'Whatever you say, Lil. So, did you check out the goods?'

'Em!' Lily cried in shock while blushing. 'He's my friend. And I shouldn't have given him a bath in the first place.'

'Well, I agree with you on this one, but you have to admit he's become more than a friend to you.'

'He hasn't.'

'Lily: he kissed you and you gave him a bath, therefore seeing him completely naked. If the two of you were only friends none of this would have happened,' the psychologist tried to reason.

'Maybe it's just something physical, you know? He's an attractive man and neither of us have had interaction with the opposite sex for a while. It's only natural, right?'

'Guess that you'll realize I'm right when you're ready. I'm not going to push you, but think about it.'

'I will. Just one last question: how do I look at him in the eye after this?'

'You'll get over it soon. Talk to him if it's so important to you. I've got to go, good luck. Bye!'

'Bye, Em. Thanks for your help.'

'I think we need to talk,' said Lily with a sigh.

Flack nodded.

'I'm sorry if I embarrassed you but can assure you I was uncomfortable too,' she said as she sat on the bed next to him.

'_You_ were uncomfortable? _I_ was the one naked.'

'It's not like I'm the first woman to see you without clothes.'

'Yeah, but little difference, they were naked too.'

'You said so yourself; the swimsuit I was wearing didn't leave much to the imagination.'

'True, it was very revealing. However, it still wasn't fair. Didn't get the chance to soap you,' he said with a grin. His comment earned him a slap on the arm.

'And that won't ever happen,' she answered with a grin as well.

'Wanna see?' said Flack and with one swift movement got on top of her, their lips dangerously close.

'And yet, that wouldn't involve any soap,' she said cheekily.

He leant forward, wanting to crash their lips together when his body failed him and he fell on top of her, not being able to suppress a groan.

'That's what happens when you've been seriously injured and try to be a player,' she said. 'Now get off me so I can get you a painkiller.'

With a little help from her he got back to his original position. _Why does this happen to me? I was so close! Maybe it was a good thing._

In she came with a pill and a glass of water. Lily watched him as he swallowed the medicine. _He just wanted to make me nervous, that's all. Wouldn't have done anything, he was simply bluffing. _

Flack dozed off almost instantly and she couldn't do anything but watch him sleep; he looked so peaceful … Lily ruffled his hair and shortly fell asleep too.

Flack woke up and it was his turn to watch her sleep. He put a strand of hair out of her face and she woke up.

'Hey. I'm sorry for what happened yesterday,' he apologized.

'It's okay, but you really need to improve your pick-up lines. You're no good with words.'

'Nobody complained before.'

'Yeah, but they didn't want to talk about world politics, did they? They liked what they saw and took no notice of your lack of way with words,' she grinned.

He simply raised his eyebrows and smiled mischievously. She returned the smile.

_

* * *

__One more chapter. What's your opinion? Liked it, hated it, have any suggestions? Leave a review and tell me. Prepare for the next chapter:_

Chapter 9 - Mesmerizing

_There's a fight coming._

_As usual, thanks to SparkyCSI._

_LaUrIsHa-just me_


	9. Mesmerizing

Chapter 9 – Mesmerizing

A few months passed and Flack was allowed to get back to work. He'd been yearning that moment for so long!

'Are you excited about going back?' asked Lily while spreading peanut butter on a piece of toast.

Flack nodded and spoke.

'Life's been too normal, I miss the crazies.'

'I thought that was one of the things you could live without,' she laughed.

'Nah,' he shook his head, 'It wouldn't be New York without it.'

'So true …' she sighed. 'By the way, you're getting rid of me this weekend.'

'I'm on call.'

'That's why I asked a friend of mine to come help me.'

'I promised to help you.'

'You're going to be exhausted by that time. Besides, I'm moving and that's that.'

'You' don't have to do it, you know?'

'And stay forever here? We'd end up hating each other. I want to get back to my place and I'm sure you don't want me here either.'

'That's not true! You can stay as long as you want; this is your place too.'

'It's really sweet of you, but you'll love it when you have the apartment all to yourself again.'

'I'll miss your cooking …' he said. _I'll actually miss you. And the way you move expertly around my apartment in those skimpy clothes you sometimes wear._

'I'll miss you too. When someone asks if I'm dating, I won't be able to say I have a man waiting for me at home,' she joked. _That sounded so pathetic! It shows how long I've been without one. And reinforces the idea that I'll miss him …_

They both lost themselves in thought. After some minutes Lily broke the silence.

'It's not like we won't see each other ever again. You can come visit me any time. My door's always open,' she mused.

'I'll keep it in mind.'

Those were the last words spoken about the subject for the entire week. However, neither of them needed words to know how they felt. They'd miss the company and would hate the loneliness but they also knew they'd be better off alone. Or at least not with each other. Paradoxically, they needed to be together but couldn't stand the idea of living in the same confined space anymore. They _needed_ to be together but didn't _want_ to be with the other person; it was complicated. But when were human relationships easy?

It was already Saturday and tensions were running high in Flack's apartment.

'Don!' yelled Lily from the bedroom, 'Can you come help me?'

He smiled when he saw her fuming about the zipper of her dress.

'Here,' he said and expertly fastened it.

She sighed, less stressed now and thanked him while he left to resume the football match. Five minutes later she emerged from the bedroom dressed in a gorgeous black evening gown and carrying a black coat in her arm.

'When is she coming to get you?' asked Flack, not being able to tear his eyes from her.

'Mary's coming in ten minutes but knowing her, that'll turn into fifteen,' she answered and sat carefully in the couch next to him.

Flack rose and went to the bedroom. He returned with a blue box and without saying a word, gave it to Lily.

'What is it?'

'My Christmas present for you,' he answered simply.

'Christmas is in two months,' she told him.

'Yeah, but you got the firm's fancy party and I thought they'd be useful.'

She opened it and her face changed from surprise to confusion. She lifted her eyes to meet his and asked a silent question.

'The day when Dusby attacked you, he broke your pearl necklace. I know it was your grandma's and how much it meant to you so I thought … it's not gonna be the same, I mean, they don't have a section at Tiffany's with personal heirlooms but anyway …'

'I treasured that necklace, but when he broke it I realized that maybe I was holding too much onto the past, you know? That I should focus more on the present. I really appreciate the gesture but I can't accept it,' she spoke with a hint of sadness.

'Why not? I'm part of your present.'

'You're giving me a necklace that must have cost you a month's salary. I wouldn't accept it from a boyfriend, let alone a friend.'

'I just thought it'd be nice …'

'It's really kind, but I just can't, sorry. You should return it.'

'Can't. Already paid it.'

'I'm sure they have a great return policy …'

'Guess it wasn't good enough for you, as usual,' he said with anger in his voice.

'It was _too much_, actually!' she raised her voice as well.

'Sorry for caring about you.'

'And an expensive gift shows that you care? I thought love was respecting your friend's principles and beliefs.'

'You come now with your 'money isn't important' speech when you've got a closet full of designer clothes and a drawer full of expensive jewelry,' he said acidly. 'What a hypocrite!'

'I bought those things for myself, because I love them but I'd never ask or expect anyone to buy them as a present. Especially someone who doesn't earn that much money.'

'Oh, so it's because I'm poor? What a relief! And they say rich people aren't thoughtful,' he said with sarcasm dripping from his voice.

'I'm not rich, what I have, I've it earned by working 24/7. You know where I come from and that sometimes when I was a kid we didn't have enough money. So don't come telling me I'm condescending just because I'm doing what you should be doing: controlling your money.'

'What if I wanted to spend it on you? What if I didn't mind?'

'Then I think you're very stupid because, honestly, I'm not worth it.'

'Shouldn't _I_ be the judge of that?' he asked, his voice dropping a few decibels.

'No, it's _my_ call. I can't let you waste your money on me, you mean too much to me to do it,' she said softly and at the verge of tears.

'I wanted to give the pearls to you because you also mean too much to me. I worked longer shifts to buy it, knowing that it would be worth it if you put the necklace on at least tonight,' he said softly too.

'I can't do it, sorry. It's against my principles …'

'You and your damn principles!' Flack interrupted her with a yell, 'Why can't you leave them aside?'

'For too many years my principles and my dreams were the only things I had, so I'm not going to forsake them on a whim of yours,' she said angrily.

Lily was either going to slap him or leave the apartment when Mary rang the doorbell. Perfect timing. Lily grabbed her things and left the apartment without saying a word.

'What happened?' said the blonde.

'Don't want to talk about it.'

'Okay, you're looking nice tonight. I'm sure Martin from 'Family Issues' won't be able to take his eyes off you.'

'Mary, I'm not in the mood …'

'We're going to a party!' said Lily's friend, 'I know it's business and everything but that doesn't mean you can't have fun.'

'Mary, sweetheart, your idea of fun is dancing on top of a table after way too many drinks and going home with someone you've just met.'

'And your idea of fun is reading a book on a Friday night. Soo boring!'

'At least it's safe.'

'That's one of your biggest problems: you hardly ever let yourself go. You want to play so safe that you end up not playing at all,' said Mary softly.

'I know that I'm a failure, I've known it for a long time. But it's just too late to mend things …' said Lily with a sigh.

'No, it's not! It can never be too late to act.'

'I'm 28 and I haven't dated for two years. It clearly means I'm never going to find the right guy.'

'You should try, need to be more open. Next time Martin or someone else flirts with you, flirt back,' advised the blonde woman.

Both women entered the room where the party was starting and they separated; Lily went to greet clients and colleagues while Mary joined the secretaries gossiping at a table.

After talking with a few clients for some time, Lily went to the bar for a drink.

'What can I get you, miss?' asked the bartender.

'She'll probably ask for a glass of water,' said Martin Banks, a tall brown haired man with a winning smile.

'You know me too well, but tonight I'm in the mood for a Cosmopolitan,' she answered with a smile.

Martin laughed and she gave him a look that made the man explain himself.

'It's a total chick drink.'

'That's weird! Last time I checked I was a woman. So why would that be uncommon behavior?'

'Oh, I'm sure every man in this room has noticed that, you're beautiful tonight. But you're not a common woman. I expected something stronger, just like you,' he said and blushed.

'Thanks, I guess. But I don't usually drink, so after one and a half of these I get really dizzy,' she tried to hide her blush from his previous comment by taking her drink and sipping it.

Martin took a sip of his drink and Lily gave him an amused look.

'What?' he asked curiously.

'You're drinking whisky,' she stated.

'I don't follow.'

'It's an old man's drink,' she explained and laughed.

'Hey!' said Martin in mock hurt, 'I'm thirty, I'm not that old. You're two years younger than me, it's not a big difference.'

'I didn't say I was the youngest person here,' she paused and saw the room was full of men in their mid-fifties, 'Okay, so maybe I am, but anyway …'

'Dance with me,' he asked before finishing his drink.

'No thanks,' she declined politely.

'Why not?'

'I don't like dancing, I'm really clumsy,' she blushed.

'If you walk in five inch heels gracefully you can't be clumsy.'

'Oh, but I am. Besides, who said I walk gracefully in heels?'

'Nobody _said_ it, but I've seen you. C'mon, just one song.'

'Sorry, but I've been asked to dance so many times in the firm's parties and I never did, saying I hate it. It just wouldn't be fair.'

'Who cares? It'll show them that you're human and that you only choose the best dancer in this place to accompany you.'

'And obviously, it would be you.'

'Exactly,' he said with a smug grin and took her hand, leading her to the dance floor.

When the song ended Lily joined Mary at a table with a big grin plastered on her face.

'I see you took my advice,' said Mary.

'I needed a huge pick me up after my fight with Don and since chocolate and movies were out of the question …'

'Here comes the stud,' said Mary with a sing-song voice before getting up for a drink.

Martin handed her a glass of water and they talked for a bit before she spotted a huge client and went to greet him, Martin a few steps behind her.

'Lily, you look wonderful, dear,' said the old man.

'Thanks Mr. Lockhart, you look good too.'

'And who's this gentleman?'

'He's Martin Banks, a colleague at the firm. He handled your divorce.'

'Nice to meet you, boy. You're one lucky chap, getting to dance with the most beautiful woman in the room.'

'I am, sir.'

Lily rolled her eyes and blushed. She hated it when people lied just to be nice.

The party was ending and Lily and Mary were leaving. The former was putting her coat on when Martin came to say goodnight.

'I had fun tonight,' he said softly.

'Me too.'

'I was thinking, well, maybe we could go to dinner sometime?'

'I'm sorry, but I don't think it's a good idea.'

'Oh, okay. I'll see you around, then.' He kissed her on the cheek. 'You're really beautiful tonight.'

She sighed and watched him leave.

'Should have said yes,' Mary reprimanded her.

'It just wasn't right, I'd be leading him on. He's cute but that's it.'

'Yeah, I forgot you like men that make you suffer.'

'Not true!'

'Ever since high school. Paul, John, Henry, Flack …'

'I don't like Don in a romantic way!'

'You keep telling yourself that.'

While she was heading to the party, Flack was nursing a beer as he thought about his relationship with Lily. She had been a constant help the last months when he was recovering from the blast. And he _had_ taken his frustrations out on her a few times but even if some tears had threatened to fall, she never left his side. She understood how hard it was for him to depend on someone, especially someone so close to him.

'It's okay if you're still mad at me, but I made you a promise and I'm going to keep it,' she had said after one of the fights. 'It's time to take off the bandages.'

Until then, Flack had taken care of dressing his chest wound. He let Lily do the other ones but the chest wound was out of bounds. Sometimes it impressed _him_ to see it and Flack didn't want to subject his friend to such an ugly sight. She had respected his wishes as long as she could take off the bandage when it was ready. That time had come.

He took off his shirt and Lily slowly peeled off the gauze. She threw it away and still with slow motions ran her fingers down his scar. Flack shivered under her touch and closed his eyes. He hated that horrible scar and was afraid she'd be disgusted by it too. But she didn't flinch and kept running her fingers down it until she asked softly if it hurt.

Flack shook his head, unable to mutter a word when she was touching him, making him feel like a man who could attract a woman again. And he couldn't help but notice how tender her skin was and how close their bodies were. And when the distance between them had grown and he had his shirt back on, she proceeded to tell him how he shouldn't be ashamed of his scar and that lot of people had them too (she included). Then Flack asked how she had gotten it and found out Lily had been bitten by her neighbor's dog when she was a child (that's why I don't have pets). The logical question followed: 'Why haven't I seen it before? Where is it?' So she put two fingers over a spot an inch from her left hip.

Back in the present, Flack wondered why this fight had been different. They were both stressed out but it was usual and they knew how to handle it. No, something had changed. Maybe it had something to do with the physical attraction he was feeling towards his friend. And he was certain (based on many years as a cop and even more dating women) that she felt it too.

Exhausted, he went to bed. His shift started at two a.m. but he wanted to get there at midnight to do some paperwork. _And avoid Lily_. How weird would it be after his realization that they were attracted to each other to see her again? Plus, he'd always been bad for apologies.

A few hours later she finished packing and left the apartment she had shared with Don, wondering if she'd ever return and if her relationship with Flack would ever mend. The message was clear: he didn't want to see her. She would respect his wishes, even if she wanted so bad to know what she had done to make him that upset.

It was one of those times when our condition as human beings plays tricks on ourselves. They wanted to fix things but they _couldn't_. They rationalized so much that they stopped reasoning. So they missed what was right in front of them: tensions were running high and they took it out on each other but the truth was, their friendship simply meant too much to them.

* * *

Here's chapter nine. For comments, suggestions and whatnot send a review.

_Special thanks to my beta sparkyCSI who is hiding her true identity: Flash Gordon._

LaUrIsHa-just me


	10. My door's open

_Thank you sparkyCSI!_

* * *

Chapter 10 – My Door's Open

Two months had passed almost in a flash and Christmas was near. It was the first week of December and Lily was doing her Christmas shopping. Her closest friends were the first on her list. _A pair of shoes for Mary (the ones she's been dying to get), Broadway tickets for Meredith and her husband, a futuristic lamp to decorate Emily's place, Lisa gets those art books she wanted and I'll get Josh another Yankees shirt._ She was trying to find a present for Lisa's dad when something caught her eye. It was a tie with a weird design in green and yellow and she couldn't help but smile. _It's definitely Don's Christmas present. _She smiled sadly when she realized they weren't on speaking terms but bought it anyway.

The days went by quickly and there was only a week left until Christmas. Lily's three friends had come in turns to leave their presents at her place, since this year the Christmas Even dinner was being held there.

After wrapping the gifts and putting them on her bed, she proceeded to store them in a cupboard. She put the last one (a box that she knew contained _his_ present) on a shelf and made a decision.

Half an hour later, Lily was knocking insecurely on Flack's door. He answered and couldn't suppress his astonishment.

'Hi,' she said shyly, thinking it hadn't been such a good idea after all.

He motioned her to come in and sit down.

'I wanted to apologize,' she said bluntly.

Flack laughed at her directness.

'I shouldn't have fought with you, I kind of overreacted. I'm sorry.'

'It's okay, I'm your friend; it's my job to respect you and I didn't. I'm sorry too,' he said truthfully.

Lily took a paper out of her pocket and gave it to him. He unfolded it and smirked.

'A Flack coupon?' he asked.

'I wasn't going to leave unless you forgave me, so I brought backup,' she smiled.

'I would have forgiven you anyway, but I'll take it.'

'By the way, what are you doing on Christmas Eve?' asked Lily.

'I'm working 'til nine p.m. so me and Danny are going to have some takeout, play some poker … why?'

'We have our usual Christmas Eve dinner and I don't know, maybe you and Danny could come?'

'We work late,' he repeated.

'We always get so caught up that we don't eat until nine, nine thirty,' she explained.

'Thanks but, we'll be a nuisance.'

'Not true! Look, you don't have to come if you don't want to. We're going to be twelve people, two more won't change anything.'

'Twelve?' he asked shocked.

'The girls, Josh, Lisa's parents, Meredith's husband Nick and her in-laws and Emily's brother and sister.'

'Wow, there's lots of you! You do that every year?'

'Yes, although this is the first time Emily's brother is coming. This year it's at my place. So if you change your mind …'

Lily stood up and left, explaining she had to go to work.

A week passed and it was already Christmas Eve. Near six o'clock the guests started to arrive at Lily's place. They laughed and talked while the food was cooking. Twenty past nine they sat at the table and were ready to start when the doorbell rang. Lily opened the door.

'I'm glad you could come,' she said with a smile and after hugging both men, led them to the table.

Proper introductions were made and dinner started.

'So, what is it you gentlemen do for a living?' Lisa's mother asked Danny and Flack.

'We're detectives, Ma'am,' answered Danny.

'You've always had a thing for cops Lily, haven't you?' now she was speaking to her daughter's friend.

'Jenny!' she said and blushed a deep red.

'Well, it's true. Remember Henry and Gary and how was the other one called? The short one?'

'Robert,' she said. 'You're making me look bad, Jenny! I haven't had that many men.'

'Yeah, mom, she never had a love life.'

'Lisa, sweetie, you're not helping me here. So … Dean,' Lily addressed Emily's brother trying to direct the attention off of her, 'how's life in Kansas?'

The conversation continued throughout dinner, laughs a common thing in this big and dysfunctional family.

After dessert they all moved to the living room, the girls entering with bags of candy.

Flack was sitting on the couch, one arm holding a beer bottle. Lily sat next to him while eating marshmallows from the bag on her lap. He reached for one but Lily moved the bag from him.

'C'mon, give me a marshmallow,' he pleaded.

'Not going to happen.'

'Just one?' he gave her the puppy dog eyes.

She shook her head.

'If you want one so much you'll have to give me something in return,' she explained. 'That's how it works.'

'What do you want?'

'What can you give me?' she smirked.

'I don't know … I don't have that many things on me. Two bucks, handcuff marks or my shirt; that's all I can give you.'

'There are lots of people so I guess the last two options are out of the question,' she said flirtatiously.

Flack rummaged through his wallet.

'I don't have the two bucks either, so I guess we could arrange it later,' he returned the flirty comment with a wink.

'We'll see …' was her answer. 'Until then, no marshmallows for you.'

'You're mean!'

After talking for a while, they decided to open the presents. The whole group gathered around the Christmas tree and gifts started to be unwrapped. Soon, thank you's and kisses and hugs were exchanged between them.

After a while, the guests started to leave. First Nick and his parents, then Lisa's parents with Josh followed by Emily's siblings. Only Flack, Danny and the girls were left.

Lily was tiding up a bit when Flack approached her.

'Thanks for the book, I'll sure find it very useful,' she told him with a smile.

'I like the tie too,' he paused. 'I returned the pearl necklace last month. Got back almost all the money.'

'Almost?'

'Yeah, 'cause I bought something. And I hope this time you accept my gift.' He looked apprehensive.

She gave him a warning look but smiled anyway. Flack took out a box from his pocket and gave it to her. Lily opened it warily and her smile widened.

'Thanks, it's beautiful,' she said in a whisper as she took it from the box.

Flack moved behind her and clasped the Heart Link lariat that had been his gift. Then she went to her bedroom to see how it looked and he followed.

'It's gorgeous,' she beamed and hugged him tightly.

'Glad you liked it.'

Flack was leaving the room when she stopped him.

'Wait! I've also got another present for you,' she rummaged through the bedside table and got a box wrapped in red paper.

'Umm, thanks,' he ripped the paper and opened the box.

'I know it's not a very interesting gift or anything but I want you to carry a little piece of me.'

He smiled, touched by the gesture and after reading the engraving in the pen again (_Seek and ye shall find. With love, Lily_), hugged her.

They joined the others in the living room. He sat on a couch and she sat on one of the armrests.

'What's that on your neck, Lil?' asked the always observant Emily.

'A Christmas present,' she answered simply with a small smile.

'Nice! I wish I had someone to give me that kind of presents,' said Lisa.

'The disadvantages of being single …' added Mary.

'Sorry to disappoint you but I'm single too,' commented Lily.

The girls smiled slyly and Danny rolled his eyes.

They kept talking for a while.

'I think we should get going,' Flack said and yawned.

'Yeah, been a long day,' Danny stood up.

'Well, you can stay for the night. I don't want you falling asleep on the wheel,' said the host.

'Nah, don't worry,' said the taller man.

'I could take you up on that offer,' answered Danny after yawning three times in a row.

'I'll set up the couch then. You can stay too, Don.'

'But I don't have any clothes or anything,' he explained apologetically.

'Liar. You've got a bag in the trunk of your car with clothes for every occasion,' Lily paused to give him a smile, 'But you don't have to stay if you don't want to, we have Danny here to keep us company,' she gave the blond man a squeeze of the shoulders.

'For Messer's sanity I'll have to stay,' Flack spoke as if he was making a sacrifice when the truth was he was dying to say yes.

'How altruistic of you!' said Lily with sarcasm and a big smile.

'I'm sure I can handle four beautiful women on my own,' added Danny with a huge smirk.

After fetching their things from their cars, the men returned to the apartment. The women were already prepared for bed and were preparing the hot chocolates for their Christmas ritual.

'We always have a sleepover after Christmas dinner,' explained Meredith. 'We stay up until eight or nine a.m. watching movies, eating candies and chatting.'

'It's like we're teenagers again,' commented Emily with a huge grin.

'And it's huge fun,' said Lily as she dipped a candy cane on her chocolate and licked it.

This drove Flack over the edge. Because even if it had seem natural to her, it was an extremely sexy gesture. And the fact that she was wearing her customary skimpy nightgown didn't help either.

The four women in their diverse nightclothes went into Lily's bedroom to continue the practice they had started many years ago, during their Freshman year at University. And the two men waited until the door was closed to talk.

'I think you should stay tomorrow and tell her,' was Danny's advice.

'Tell who what?'

'Don't play dumb, Flack! Tell Lily you love her. Or at least that you want a chance with her.'

'You've drank too much alcohol today, Mess.'

'Deny it all you want but I saw the way you melted when she licked that candy cane.'

'I'm a man and it was sexy; doesn't mean anything.'

'It _was_ sexy, but she's supposed to be your friend and you treat your friends as sisters. Unless you have a thing for them …'

'Whatever, I'm going to sleep now.'

Meanwhile, the conversation with the girls was taking the same turn.

'You saw how he drooled?' asked Mary.

'Yeah, it was kinda cute,' said Meredith.

'What are you talking about?' was Lily's question.

'The way Don drooled over you,' stated Lisa.

'Right! I think you've ingested too much sugar and you're _hallucinating_. I'm his friend.'

'Sweetie, he wanted to take you right there,' Emily put things bluntly.

'I think you should give him a try, it's obvious you two are attracted to each other.'

'It's hard not to, Mer! He _is_ extremely hot but it's not going to happen.'

'Why not?' asked Lisa.

'He likes beautiful women.'

'You are a beautiful woman,' Mary pointed out.

Lily shook her head.

'You go ask Martin, Chris the D.A., Flack, any other man and he'll tell you I'm right.'

'You need to work your self-esteem. It's stopping you from being happy and realizing your true potential.'

'Could you just be her friend on this one and not a shrink?' asked Lisa.

'It's just that he's way out of my league,' Lily sighed. 'He's handsome, charming, a great guy …'

'And you're a successful lawyer, smart, pretty and a good person. Yeah, he can't feel _you're_ out of _his_ league, why would he?' Meredith spoke with irony.

'I don't know if I can do it.'

'At least try with his hot friend,' joked Mary.

'You think Danny's hot? Oh, please!'

All but Lily agreed on the fact that he was cute.

'Okay, so I like his sense of humor but Danny's not handsome,' Lily stated.

'Yeah, girls, Lily here likes her men tall and sexy and sleeping on her couch,' said Emily.

A few hours passed and they went to sleep. Around seven in the morning Lily woke up. She went to the kitchen to drink some water before going to bed again. She slipped out of the room and crept towards the kitchen. Flack noticed the movement and went after her.

'What are you doing up?' he asked softly so as not to wake anybody.

'Just having a drink. You?'

'Couldn't get back to sleep so I jumped at the chance of talking to someone.'

'Okay, but let's go to the guest room. That way we won't wake up our friends.'

Once inside the room Lily got into the bed and lifted the covers up to her neck. He sat in front of her. They talked for a while.

'Aren't you cold sitting there? I'll make you some space on the bed,' she moved towards the wall and he took the offer.

Flack shivered as he pulled the covers over him and Lily snuggled into him in order to warm him up faster.

'It's been a while since the last time I shared a bed with a woman. Especially after the blast,' he confessed with his eyes closed.

She didn't say anything but squeezed his hand until he opened his eyes again and smiled.

'You should smile more often, you can't deny us the privilege of seeing your gorgeous smile. It's simply unfair,' she told him.

Their conversation continued for some time until they fell asleep. Their friends discovered them four hours later still asleep, her head on his chest, one of his arms round her waist.

'They should just admit their feelings,' said an exasperated Lisa.

'Flack's having a hard time doing that,' commented Danny.

'Lily's too stubborn and too afraid of being hurt,' explained Mary.

'And she's losing this one chance of being happy,' said Meredith sadly.

'Give them some time, they'll come round,' Emily assured and motioned them to leave Lily and Flack alone, not wanting to disturb the couple's peaceful slumber.

The pair woke up eventually.

'My neck's really hurting,' she said with a groan.

'My back's killing me. Guess we're getting old.'

'Maybe _you_ are,' Lily patted his thigh, 'I'm still young and fit.' She climbed out of bed.

'I can see that,' he smirked and watched her take out one of the robes she never used and was kept in the guest bedroom and put it on.

'I'm dying for a cup of coffee, if you want to join me …' Don was at her side in 2.3 seconds.

They couldn't help but wonder why they had been so proud and stupid to stop talking for two whole months. They loved each other (in a non-romantic way, of course) and they discovered –the hard way, mind you- that their lives without the other one was lonely and less fun. In a few months ever since they had rekindled their friendship they found a missing piece of their lives. That's what their friendship meant to them and why they wouldn't risk losing it for a physical attraction.

* * *

**If you're curious as to how the necklace looks like you can either go to tiffanydotcom and search for 'heart link lariat' or read this description from my aboslutely wonderful beta:**

**_"She looked down at the sterling silver neckace, a simple chain with hearts around it. The chain ended in two hearts, both open, one with the chain threaded through it with another heart dangling down from it."_**

_Chapter eleven's coming soon: Just Call On Me_

_You've got to be careful what you wish for, it can come true._

LaUrIsHa-just me


	11. Just call on me part 1

Chapter 11 – Just call on me (Part 1)

Things had been kind of weird between Flack and Lily ever since they had slept together. Something was happening between them and she didn't know how to react. He wasn't any better either. He kept flirting with her and she kept taking it as friendly banter. He was a player, after all. Or that was she kept telling herself.

The clock strike twelve on New Year's Eve and Lily's cell phone rang. When she hugged the last of her friends and wished her a 'Happy New Year', answered the phone.

'Happy New Year,' he said on the other side of the line.

'You too,' replied Lily with a smile. 'Where are you, anyway?'

'Still at the Precinct. Snow didn't let me go home,' Flack sighed.

'Sorry to hear that. It almost caught me too, if hadn't it been for the cab driver who violated a few transit regulations. If I could, I'd change the weather for you, honey.'

'Okay, I've gotta keep working, just wanted to greet you. Have a nice night.' _What I really wanted was to hear your voice._

'Thanks for calling. And if the weather gets better you can always come and join us. Night, bye,' she ended the call.

'Who called?' asked Lisa curiously.

'Don,' she bit her lip.

'Ooh, the stallion called!' Mary joked. 'Didn't he know New Year's Eve is a Ladies Night?'

Lily rolled her eyes. _He shouldn't be alone._

The snow stopped falling heavily and in three seconds Lily was taking Mary's car and driving down the empty streets. When she got to her destination, she saw all the cops were chatting and laughing except Flack, who was slumped over his desk.

'You better not be asleep,' she said while placing a hand on one of his arms.

He lifted his head quickly. _It can't be her, I must be hallucinating or something._ 'What you doing here?' Flack was surprised.

'Heard someone needed company …'

'It's snowing, how did you get to the Precinct?'

'Does it matter? I'm already here.'

Flack got up and hugged her tightly, whispering 'Thank you' in her ear.

Lily took off her coat, revealing a somewhat low cut dress and therefore receiving a wolf whistle or two to which she responded with a roll of her eyes.

'Did you have to wear that?' Flack asked reproachfully with a blush.

'If you don't want me here, I can go,' she got up but he grabbed her hand and made her sit again on a corner of his desk.

'I'm sorry but that dress …' _You're killing me here!_

'Your colleagues are on the other side of the room, what do you care?' _It's not as if_ _it distracted you …_

'So, has it stopped snowing? You think I can go home?' asked Flack, changing the subject.

'Yeah. And if you didn't want me here, you could have told me,' she said with hurt.

'C'mon, Lil! I didn't mean that,' Flack grabbed her from the waist before she could get her coat and made her turn around.

'It's okay, I want to go home too. These boots are killing me,' she tried to sound nonchalant. _I just don't want to get mad at you._ 'Good night,' she kissed his cheek and left the building, their relationship unscathed.

* * *

A day later Lily was at her office working on a case when someone knocked on the door. A somewhat tall man in his mid-fifties entered and sat down in front of her.

'You working on the Johnson case?'

She nodded and added as an afterthought, 'But you're not checking on me, you need something.'

'You've known me for too long,' he chuckled, 'there's nothing I can hide from you anymore.'

'You know you can trust me Jeff, or you wouldn't be here,' she gave him an encouraging look.

'Ashley asked for a divorce. And well, I want you to handle it with as much discretion as you can,' he looked down.

'Sure, don't worry about it. And you know, I'm really sorry. I'll have it on your desk as soon as I can type it.'

'I know you will,' he smiled. 'You still think you owe me something.'

'You gave me this life, Jeff; of course I do! I wouldn't be here if you hadn't been so good to me.'

'Your work ethic and intelligence got you to where you are. I wouldn't have recruited you otherwise. But the Johnson case has got the whole firm involved so tell me where we are.'

'Working's not going to make you feel better or fix your life, you know? But let's get to business: Fred Johnson, CEO at an advertising agency and accused of espionage. Solid evidence against him includes e-mails, witnesses and footage from the surveillance cameras.'

'You think he did it?' asked Jeff.

'You've asked me that every single case we've worked together for the past five years, why?'

'Because you have a good instinct for that. You're a shrewd person and I trust your judgment.'

'I think he's innocent.' Lily couldn't express how much that meant to her so simply answered the question. 'I really do.'

'Let's give him a hell of a defense, then!'

Days passed and the Johnson trial was nearing. All White, Brandson & Jordan was in the meeting room, organizing the defense.

'The e-mails could have been sent by another person, the witnesses were spies before leaving their jobs so it'll be easier to put their character into question and the footage from the cameras on the building: Photoshop or whatever they use to alter videos,' explained Lily.

'That means he's being framed,' spoke David Rogers, a man in his forties who usually dealt with minor offences.

'Really bright there, Dave! Why not?' interjected a young lawyer named Nick.

'The thing is finding the evidence to prove somebody wants to set him up,' Jeff was always trying to calm things down.

'So … what are we waiting for?'

* * *

Flack entered the Precinct three weeks after New Year's and was headed to his desk when a familiar person caught his attention. He stopped and directed his steps to where she was.

'Lily, what you doin' here?'

'Don,' she said gloomily.

'What happened? Who's missing?' he'd observed the color of the form the officer was filling.

'Jeff White, one of the partners at the firm. He just … vanished.'

'I'll take care of it and keep you posted, okay? Anything else you think may be important call me.'

'Thanks! Jeff was a mentor and I just hope he's alright,' they hugged and she left the building.

Four days passed and Flack was standing over a dead body in an alley. Nothing out of the ordinary about that, except for the fact that the victim was wearing a suit and looked like a businessman instead of the usual junkie you'd find in a place like that.

'What have we got?' asked Lindsay while gloving up.

'Male on his mid-fifties, no ID yet. My guys are canvassing the area but there aren't any witnesses so far.'

'He's got quite an expensive suit, what's a guy like him doing in an alley in the Bronx?' Stella approached the crime scene and started processing.

'That's what you'll tell me,' Flack scrunched up his nose, 'Is he famous or something?'

'Haven't seen him before,' Stella answered.

'I have, but can't figure out where,' he rummaged through his brain and when he was about to give up; it hit him. 'The picture on her desk.'

He dialed a familiar number and a phone in Manhattan rang.

'Tell me it's good news, Don,' she said nervously.

'Sorry Lil, but I think we found him. You have to come and take a look,' he said sadly. 'Can you be at the Precinct in half an hour?'

'Sure,' she put her head on her hands.

'Do you have a possible ID for this guy?' asked Lindsay from where she was bagging a grey fiber she'd pick from the victim's shirt.

'Yeah but we'll have to wait for confirmation. What have you found?'

'I've got a foreign fiber, DNA under his fingernails and some trace from the wound on his head,' Lindsay spoke.

'There are some shoeprints that don't match the victim's shoes and that's it. We gotta find the primary crime scene,' added Stella.

'Dump job?' Flack took notes.

'COD is probably blunt force trauma to the head which generates medium velocity spatter. I don't see any blood here,' she explained.

* * *

'Where did you find him?' asked Lily.

'First check that's him, alright?'

She looked at the picture and nodded, unable to speak. The dead body on the photo had once been her mentor, guiding her through her career, guiding her through life. She had met him on her Sophomore year and now he wasn't there anymore. She wanted to cry, throw up and scream but she couldn't do any of it.

'I'm sorry,' Flack said and hugged her.

'Where did you find him?' she pushed.

'An alley in the Bronx. The guys from the lab are working really hard to get the person who did this,' Flack reassured her. 'I'm working really hard too.'

'I know,' she sighed. 'I can't believe it. He was a great guy, a great lawyer and a great dad. Have you called Ashley, his wife?'

'Yeah, she's on her way.'

Lily buried her face in her hands for the millionth time in half an hour. And Flack hugged her again.

'What happened to him?' she broke the hug.

'Lily, I don't think you …'

'I _need_ to know what happened,' she gave him a pleading look. 'Is that hole on his forehead the cause of death?'

'Yeah. He was a strong man, didn't come down without a fight. The ME found a lot of defensive wounds,' Flack tried to comfort his friend.

'I know.'

He hugged her again, wishing he could do something. He had to wait for the evidence to speak. Hopefully, it wouldn't take long.

* * *

_Blood, sweat and tears to get this chapter finished! I've divided it into two parts because it would have been too long. I would apologize for the delay but **I don't know if someone's actually reading this story**. If there is someone out there: I really appreciate if you leave me a review with your comments/suggestions/questions._

**Thanks to sparkyCSI who's really patient.**

LaUrIsHa-just me


	12. Just call on me part 2

Chapter 11 – Just call on me (Part 2)

'Congratulations, Lily,' Sam Martinez shook her hand.

'Thanks, I'm going to like working as a partner with you.' She left the office of her former boss.

Mary intercepted her on the hallway.

'Congrats on your new job!' they hugged.

'Thanks, how did you know so fast? I found out only a couple of minutes ago.'

'You know how things are around here; news travel fast. By the way, Kelly Roberts has been spreading the rumor that either you killed Jeff or you're sleeping with one of the other partners,' Mary shrugged and smiled.

'Thanks for the heads up, I think I'm going to pay her a visit,' Lily smiled mischievously and Mary winked before running to her desk to pick up the phone.

Fifteen minutes later, the whole firm was at the meeting room and Lily's promotion was announced. Several people look disgruntled and others satisfied but no one was surprised.

'You can all keep working now,' John Daltry (another partner) spoke.

Most people left the office except for a few who waited to congratulate her. After the greetings she got back to her office. Not half an hour had passed when a guy in his twenties entered and sat opposite Lily.

'At last you got the job! You deserve it.' he smiled sincerely.

'You must be the only one who's happy for me and doesn't want me to trip and ruin everything. In this place where everyone wants you out of the race; you've got no idea how much this means to me,' she returned the smile.

'Now you've got to show them how good you are,' he stood up and motioned with his arm. 'C'mere!'

Lily got to where he was and hugged him. 'You're the best Nicky but if you want special treatment because you're my protégé; it's not going to happen.'

'Never would have expected it,' two pairs of brown eyes locked in understanding and he squeezed her one last time before letting her go and leaving the office.

Two days later Lily and Flack met for dinner.

'Thanks for coming,' she told him.

'No problem,' he sat in front of her. 'Why did you call me?'

'What? Are you implying I don't enjoy your company?' she raised and eyebrow.

'Just saying there's something more to this dinner …'

'Okay, I'll cut to the chase: I'm the new partner. Go me!' she gulped down half of her Cosmo, guilt gnawing at her.

'Congratulations, you deserved it,' he squeezed her hand.

'My conscience would have preferred it some other way … I'm sad about Jeff's death but it gave me what I've wanted for so long,' she drank again. 'If only the firm had other rules for getting a partnership … Why does someone have to die or retire?'

'Blaming yourself or getting drunk isn't gonna solve anything, so you might as well avoid it.'

'Thanks, that's exactly what I needed and why I called you to have dinner with me.'

'Glad to have helped, now if you don't mind, I'm hungry,' Flack tried to lighten up the mood, knowing how Lily could get when guilt attacked her.

Lily looked at him with admiration. He could be serious and sensitive and then become a total idiot. But the total idiot you _knew_ would always be there when you needed him. The kind of idiot who was just so easy to love … She'd been falling for him for such a long time and hadn't realized it until that very same moment when he gave her a small smile and she felt safe. Because Don would always be there for her.

Later in the evening, Flack sat there, watching her laugh at one of his stupid jokes and couldn't believe it. She was the kind of woman who was comfortable in any situation. A woman who could dress up for a fancy party and then go and have a burger with you at the park. She was the sort of person who would laugh or smile even when she was sad and heartbroken because she was a firm believer that a smile could change the world. And that was what she was doing now.

'You are beautiful when you smile, you know that?' he told her and then regretted it after seeing her shocked expression.

'Do you use that line often?' she asked curiously.

'Only when I mean it,' he looked straight into her eyes.

'Should I be flattered?' asked Lily a bit ironically.

'I was just telling the truth, take it as a compliment if you want,' he pierced her with a glare to tell her he actually meant it. but she didn't catch the hidden meaning.

'Always the charmer …'

'Me?'

'You know you can have any woman just by giving her a look or saying a few words.'

'Not true!'

'You can't deny it! I'm right. You've been like this ever since school.'

'I can never seem to get the women I want …' he sighed. _You'd have been mine a long time ago if I could. _

She smiled and couldn't help making the next comment.

'Shouldn't take it personal; models usually go for producers and directors.'

'That's not what I'm talking about and you know it,' he gave her a warning look.

'Just joking!' she ran her fingers down his cheek. 'And I'm sure you'll find someone who loves you and you love back. It just takes a bit of time …'

'Corny much?'

'Forgive me for believing there is a person for everyone!'

'You were always too optimistic. After dating for many years, I'm not so sure about that.'

'And you always tried to hide how romantic and sensitive you truly are,' she patted his hand. 'Guess only time will tell …'

'Guess so,' he smiled at how she glowed. 'Any prospects for you?'

'No, I never had much luck with men …' she shrugged.

'Can't understand that.'

'What you mean?'

'You're smart, beautiful, nice; perfect combination if you ask me.'

'Not so sure about it,' Lily shrugged and smiled sadly, ignoring the compliment.

'Idiots! They lost a wonderful woman and they're probably regretting it.'

'Always a kind word from you. Even if you try to hide it, you're too sweet Don.'

He blushed and she laughed at his reaction.

'You mind if I leave? I'm really tired,' she rubbed her eyes like a small girl.

'C'mon, I'll take you home.'

They spent the trip to her place in silence, Lily almost asleep, Flack too caught up thinking until he parked. _Why was Lily so out of his league? She clearly didn't want him. What could he give her that she didn't have already?_ As usual, he accompanied her to the door.

'If you want to come in …' she offered and yawned.

'Nah, you're gonna fall asleep in a second,' he smiled.

'I think you're right. Thanks for everything. It's good to know I can always count on you.'

'I'm always here, babe.'

They hugged and she kissed him on the cheek. Lily entered the apartment with a wave and a soft goodbye. Flack went home with a huge grin; he was happy and he didn't know why.

His good mood carried on until the next day.

'Why are you so cheerful, Flack?' asked a peeved Danny, who hated rainy days like that one. It always ruined the evidence, especially on a scene outdoors like the one he was processing.

'No idea, that's the beauty of it.'

Flack yawned.

'Stayed up late?' Danny raised an eyebrow.

'Sort of. Lily and I had dinner together.'

'As in a date?'

'Nope. As in two friends having dinner,' Flack gave his friend a sharp look.

'Still think you should tell her. And don't even try to feed me the 'we're just friends' bullshit 'cause I know you're in love with each other.'

'Mind you own business. You've got enough on your plate with Monroe.'

'Montana has nothing to do with you two. Get defensive all you want but you know I'm right.'

'I'll go talk to the neighbors.'

'Yeah, you run away.' Danny shook his head in resignation and kept processing the scene.

'It's called a job, Messer, you should try it,' he smirked and left.

* * *

'How's life as a partner?' asked Flack one afternoon on the phone.

'The same as before but with a formal title, actually,' Lily sighed. 'Still working the same hours, earning a bit more. The only big difference is I get to be part of the decision making process.'

'That's an improvement, isn't it?'

'Yes, I love it. It makes me feel all powerful and fuzzy on the inside,' she grinned.

'So maybe it's a dangerous thing. I can see an evil grin pasted on your face.'

'Ah, you know me too well …' she laughed.

'I won't let you take over the world, Brain,' he joked.

'Then I guess I'll have to do something about you.'

'You wouldn't dare.'

'And why's that?'

' Just 'cause It'd be assaulting a police officer.'

'Details, details. Look, honey, I've got to go since loads of cases are piling up on my desk. Talk to you later.'

'Ah, yes, the downside of jobs: working. Bye.'

Flack grinned and couldn't stop smiling for the rest of his shift. Talking to Lily somehow got him in a good mood. There was something about that woman!

* * *

'Don't worry Mac, I'll take care of it. Thanks for calling,' Lily hung up the phone with a decided look on her face.

It had been a long week for Flack; the cases had been getting to him (he didn't know why, they just did) and he was in a really bad mood so when his phone rang, he was pretty close to throwing it to the wall and releasing his frustration but quickly decided against it and took the call.

'I don't want to hear any excuses; you're coming to dinner with me tonight and that's it,' Lily commanded on the other side of the line.

'I don't wanna argue with you.'

'Great. I'll pick you up at seven and we'll go to your place.'

'Lily, that's not what I meant. I just wanna be alone,' he said trying to control his voice.

'Tough luck! That's life. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to.' She hung up.

A few hours later Lily waltzed up to Flack's desk.

'I've got the food,' she lifted her right hand to show him the paper bag. 'And you're coming with me,' she informed him in a no-nonsense tone.

He grabbed his jacket and led her to the parking lot.

'Taking a suspect home, Flack?' Hawkes joked.

'The other way around, rumor has it he's been quite a pain the last few days,' Lily answered.

'Better straight him out. It's good to see you,' Hawkes hugged her and went to his car.

They drove in silence and no word was uttered until they got inside his apartment.

'You go have a shower while I get dinner ready.'

'Maybe later.'

'It wasn't a question, Don,' she said seriously.

He obeyed while she moved expertly around the kitchen and arranged the food. He emerged from the bathroom a bit more relaxed.

They talked and ate for some time, leaving their worries behind, just enjoying each other's company until she had to go home.

'So, you feeling more calm?' she asked.

'Yeah, thanks, I really needed this. But did you have to be so bossy?'

'It was the only way you'd stop being an idiot. Believe me, your colleagues are going to send me flowers after tonight,' she patted his knee.

'They're gonna think I got laid.'

'Not with me, I presume?'

'The guys are working crazy hours and they aren't getting any, so they live vicariously through the ones who are.'

'But you're not,' she reminded him.

'Yeah, but I left the Precinct with a beautiful woman and we were coming to my place,' he didn't finish the sentence.

'Men!' she rolled her eyes. 'I hope rumors don't start spreading.'

'I wouldn't mind. Especially if they became true …' he smirked. _But of course, they won't. 'Cause you're too good for me and there's nothing I could give you. _

'Dream on, sweetie,' she patted his cheek.

'Oh, I will,' he hugged her and watched her leave. _You bet I will._

Lily smiled, the Don she knew was back.

* * *

_Here's the second part (uploaded two minutes after the first one!). As usual, please leave comments, suggestions, questions or anything in a review or a message._

LaUrIsHa-just me


	13. Insects and friends

Chapter 12 – Insects and friends

Friendship. For some it's knowing that there's someone you can count on, for others it's sharing the good times and the pain. Other people think friends are the ones who you have fun with and for some, friendship is simply the best thing that has ever happened to them.

'I'm really sorry, Lily,' said Flack apologetically over the phone.

'It's alright, you're always welcome at my place.'

'Yeah, but I don't know how long it's gonna be. Fumigation always takes a while.'

'Even better, I've been missing your company,' she said earnestly.

'You sure? Maybe you're still arranging things.'

'I'm already installed in this new apartment, so don't worry about that. What time are you coming?'

'Round six.'

'Okay, I'll be waiting for you then. Bye.'

Ten past six, Flack was knocking on her door, carrying a suitcase and a box. With Lily's help they took his stuff to the guest bedroom and then sat in the living room.

'So, what do you think of this apartment? Better than the other one, isn't it?' asked Lily.

'A bit too much for me,' he said uncomfortably.

'I forgot you hated the Upper East Side,' she said with a smile.

'I don't, it's just too fancy for me. But I know how much you like it.'

'You'll get used to it, it's not that bad.'

'Is it living to your expectations having a home on this side of town?' asked Flack.

'So far, so good. Now tell me again, what's the matter with your building?'

'Roaches invaded an apartment two floors below mine and the super wanted to fumigate the whole building, forcing us to leave. I would have gone to a hotel but it's still a week 'til payday and I …'

'Sweetie, it's okay. You did the same for me. And I've told you a thousand times that you don't need an excuse to stay here,' she reassured him.

'Thanks, Lil, you're the best,' Flack hugged her.

Her cell phone rang and she took the call, quickly walking to the office she had set up in one of the spare bedrooms.

Flack turned on the TV and after a few minutes headed to the bathroom. He passed by the office and even though the door was closed, he could hear his friend scream to the person on the other side. He was going to continue '_It's none of my business, after all_' until he heard his name.

'That's not gonna happen,' said Lily forcefully in a New Yorker drawl. 'That's not the way I work! I win cases fair and square, that's how I like it.' There was a pause that signaled the other person was talking. 'I couldn't care less; I'm gonna make this case with the usual resources and I'm _not_ gonna use Don to gain information for our case, got it?'

Now there was a longer pause.

'If being a great lawyer is taking advantage of your friends and going against the law, I'd rather not be one. And if you ever try to talk me into something illegal or unethical again, I'm gonna go for your license, got it David?' she hung up and stormed out of the room, colliding with Flack.

'You okay?' he asked.

'Yeah, everything's fine,' she spoke yet again with a thick accent.

'Really? 'Cause I haven't heard that drawl for a while. Thought it was reserved only for when you were mad as hell.'

She sighed and hugged him. He, a bit flabbergasted, returned the gesture.

'Let me take you somewhere,' suggested Flack.

'Not in the mood, sorry.'

'It'll cheer you up, c'mon.'

'You're not taking no for an answer, are you?'

He shook his head and after grabbing their jackets they left the apartment.

'I love you. You're my favorite person ever,' said Lily gratefully between spoonfuls of ice-cream. _You're a God among mortals right now. Wait, aren't you always? Arrgh, I shouldn't be thinking this!_

'Knew you'd like it,' he was satisfied with her reaction.

'How did you know the place?'

'One of my ex-girlfriends worked here.'

Lily looked at the girls dressed in a pink blouse that showed a lot of cleavage and a pink mini skirt and smirked.

'Enterprising, wasn't she?'

'She was paying her way through college.'

'And I'm sure she wanted World Peace and to become a rocket scientist,' Lily continued to mock.

He couldn't help but laugh, always a witty remark from her.

Half an hour later, the couple was returning to her apartment.

'Thanks Donny, you're my savior. Don't know what I'd do without you.'

'You'd be just fine.' _Unfortunately, you don't need me in your life at all._

* * *

'Would you do me?' asked Lily one morning while Flack was eating breakfast.

'Sorry?' he choked on a glass of juice.

'I thought it was a simple question. What do you think of the outfit?'

'Now it's a different matter. I think you look nice,' Flack said noncommittally.

'I'll go change, then.'

'Why? I said you looked nice.'

'I need to look sexy, hot, _not_ nice,' she explained.

'Wear the pink top,' he suggested and blushed. _Did I say that out loud?! Now I'm gonna look like a pervert, that's just great …_

Lily returned to the room wearing a pink top with a sweetheart neckline and a pencil skirt that hugged her hips.

'Now?'

'Better,' he tried to sound nonchalant. 'Are you sure you wanna go to work dressed like that?'

'I don't but I have to. I'm having a meeting with the opposing lawyer and he's a total pig. I want to distract him so as to make a better deal; it's not very honest but it's the only way to negotiate with him,' she shrugged. 'I feel naked,' she covered her chest with an arm and laughed nervously. _I always do around you …_

'You know the other top would attract his attention anyway, don't you? You're always sexy. Now you're just showing more skin,' he commented. _Me and my big mouth, this is getting better and better._

'Wish it were true.' _If you keep saying it, I'll believe it …_

'It is. And you don't have to go showing your body and feeling uncomfortable for a client.'

'It's the only way and he's losing more than I am …'

'More than his self-respect?'

'This conversation's the last thing I need. I already feel bad and don't want you to make me feel worse,' she wore a sad look. 'Would you do me?'

Somehow, the distance between them had reduced and they were standing really close.

'Yeah, wouldn't matter what you were wearing,' he said softly, looking into her eyes.

'Good, it's settled then.' _Keep your distance, Lily, don't ruin your friendship._

'Are you that desperate?' he asked suddenly.

'Beg your pardon?'

'For a man. You're willing to reduce yourself to a piece of meat. He's gonna touch you and stare at you and you don't mind the slightest?' said Flack angrily.

'That's not true!' she tried to deny the accusation but he interrupted her.

'You're gonna let him do this to you,' Flack ran a hand down her side and her butt. 'Are you really that desperate?' he ran his other hand over one of her breasts.

'I can't believe you're doing this!' she tried to shove him but he had a strong grip on her waist and made it impossible.

Flack kissed her, pressing his body against hers. Lily shoved him hard and freed herself.

'You're a jerk,' she said with hurt in her voice and on the verge of tears before storming out of her apartment.

Flack sat on the couch, his head buried on his hands. He had made a big mistake and he knew it.

When Flack returned that evening, he saw Lily crying on the couch.

'I'm sorry. I was a total idiot,' he said, hating to see her like that.

'No, you were right,' said Lily between sobs.

'Lil, I'm sorry. Wanna file a complaint for sexual harassment?'

'It's okay, he didn't do anything to me, it's just … I feel worthless.'

'You're not. You're a wonderful woman, I'm sorry.'

'Stop apologizing! You were right all along; I'm desperate because nobody wants me,' she kept sobbing.

'That's not true, most men think you're beautiful. They just feel you're a bit out of their league,' he took her hands on his own.

'How can someone think I'm beautiful?' she asked with utter sadness, looking into his eyes.

'How can someone not?' he stared right back.

And then, almost with a magnetic attraction without realizing what they were doing, they kissed. It was a passionate kiss, full of hunger and desire. They were both trying to prove a point. A kiss led to another and then to another and soon they were making out like crazy.

Flack moved to her neck and hit the right spot. She moaned and started unbuttoning his shirt. Their hands roaming up and down the other's body, they managed to take their clothes off and go to the guest bedroom. Once on the bed, their underwear was thrown to the floor and they kept kissing and exploring the other hungrily.

The next morning Lily was the first to wake up. She cursed the small bed that forced her to be half on top of him, one of his arms round her waist. They would have been way more comfortable in her bed but she considered it sacred (no man was allowed in it). Apparently she could destroy a friendship but couldn't break one of her stupid rules. She closed her eyes when Flack woke up. Maybe if she pretended to be asleep she wouldn't have to face him. But luck wasn't on her side.

Flack kissed her neck twice and she opened her eyes. He continued down her chest.

'Don …'

'A quickie,' he pleaded and then concentrated on her chest which made her surrender.

When they had finished, she put her nightgown back on and told him they needed to talk about what had happened.

'I've never done this before, you know? Have a one night stand …' she explained. 'I'm sorry, I was desperate and I yielded. You must have been desperate too and so we made a mistake, sorry.'

'You're the first one to tell me it was a mistake,' commented Flack, trying to hide his hurt.

'It was. I mean, no. But it was,' she bit her lip. 'If it didn't make things so difficult I'd do it again, you know?'

'Make things difficult, what are you talking about?' he raised his voice a bit.

'We're friends, Don.'

'Ha, we stopped being friends a long time ago, don't you think? Ever since the first kiss we had.'

'I just don't want to lose you,' she tried to run a hand down his cheek but he pulled away. 'You mean too much to me, okay? I couldn't bear to lose you.'

'That's never gonna happen.'

'What if it doesn't work out?'

'It will,' he pressed her tight to his bare chest.

'But …' Flack silenced her with tender kiss on the lips.

'We'll leave those for later, Lil.'

'So, what does this make us?' she asked.

'We'll leave that for later too,' he slowly took off her nightdress.

A couple hours later Flack got to the first scene of his shift. Danny and Lindsay were already there.

'Who was she?' asked Danny after seeing his friend's smile.

'What you talking about, Messer?' His grin widened a bit more.

'Was it …? It was time, man. Told you so,' he smirked.

'Keep working, Danny.' Flack wasn't going to tell his friend how great his night had been, how much he'd enjoyed it or how happy he was.

* * *

'Who did you sleep with?' asked Emily as soon as Lily entered her home.

'Good afternoon to you too. What are you talking about?' Lily took off her coat.

'Ohh, I see what you mean!' spoke Mary excitedly. 'Who was it?'

'What gives you that idea?'

'Your face, after you sleep with someone you kinda glow and can't stop smiling,' answered Lisa.

'Plus you're walking funny which means he was _very_ good,' added Meredith.

'Okay, you're all out of your mind!' Lily sat on a red armchair.

'I have my money on the detective,' Lisa smiled.

Lily blushed so deeply you couldn't guess where her skin ended and the couch began.

'Well he looked like a good lover,' Mary shrugged.

'Alright! Yes, I slept with him,' Lily confessed and bit her lip.

'We already knew it, sweetie,' said Meredith. 'So, how was it?'

'Good. And you know what worries me? I don't know what I feel.'

'How's that?' asked Emily.

'I don't really love him, at least not yet. But there's something about him that just makes me want to give myself to him, you know? It's weird. I want to but I can't.'

'Just give it some time. After a few dates you'll see what you feel about him.' Advised Lisa.

'Are you a couple or are you going out?' wondered Mary.

'Don't know yet. Don said we'd leave it for later and I'm glad. I have to sort out my feelings for him first.'

* * *

_As usual, thanks to sparkyCSI. Please leave comments, suggestions, ideas in a review. By the way, sorry for the delay but life's been crazy._

_Brace yourselves for the next chapter:_

Chapter 13 - Fire and brimstone

LaUrIsHa-just me


	14. Clear conscience

Chapter 14 – Clear conscience

Some weeks had passed and Lily and Flack were watching TV after a long day of work when the doorbell rang. She got the door and was surprised.

'Jenna, hi,' she smiled despite her astonishment. 'Is everything okay?'

'I'm sorry Lily but a girl got sick at the restaurant and I have to cover her shift. I didn't have time to call a nanny, could you look after her for a while?'

'Sure,' Lily ushered the girl inside.

'Oh, you've got company, I'm so sorry. We'll go with a friend …'

'No, it's alright. Really!' Lily nodded. 'Go back to work.'

'Thank you so much! I'll be back in a couple of hours.' The woman said goodbye to her daughter.

With a hand on her shoulder, Lily steered the girl to the couch where Flack was.

'Sally, I want you to meet my boyfriend. His name is Don. Don, this is Sally, my niece,' with a look she vowed to explain later.

'Nice to meet you, Sally.'

The girl looked down, she was shy.

'Have you eaten yet?' asked Lily concerned.

She shook her head.

'You can sit and watch TV with Don while I make dinner, sounds good?'

The girl nodded and sat on the couch.

'I'll help you with dinner,' said Flack. He wanted some answers.

Once in the kitchen he spoke again.

'Your niece? I thought you weren't on speaking terms with your brother.'

'I'm not. It's such a long story!' she pleaded with her eyes. _Don't make me do this!_

'I've got time.'

'I don't know if you remember but back in high school my brother knocked up a girl. It was quite a story seeing as he went to a catholic school and everything. Troy broke up with her and my parents didn't assume their roles as grandparents. Jenna wanted us in her baby's life anyway, you know? For the kid's sake. She came a lot of times to our home while she was pregnant. After Sally was born, she came with the baby thinking they'd want to become part of her life. But they didn't. I kept in touch with her, though,' she stopped to see his reaction. He was waiting to hear the whole story.

'I visited the baby a few days a week, on her birthday, that sort of thing. I sent her money too, sometimes. From my summer job at first and when I started getting a regular paycheck I sent Jenna every month a small sum. Other times I was her babysitter.'

'How old is she?'

'Twelve.'

'Why did you do that?'

'Keep in touch with them?' he nodded and she continued. 'Look, my brother is a bastard, we've already established that. But this girl has my blood and not only do I want to have a niece, but I want her to have an aunt. Troy must have knocked up dozens of girls during all these years but Jenna was the first one and the one who wanted support from us.'

'So you took over the responsibility your family didn't want?'

'Right now, Sally is the only biological relative I've got. My parents and Troy are dead as far as I'm concerned,' she crossed her arms while waiting for his reaction and for the burgers to get ready.

'It makes you a better person, you know that?' he spoke softly but firmly.

'It makes me feel ashamed that for eighteen years I called that kind of people my family,' her expression hardened.

'You're better than them and both Jenna and Sally know that,' he hugged her.

'I hope so. Lord knows I've tried,' she hugged him back.

A couple of minutes later they emerged from the kitchen with a plate full of fries and burgers and the three of them sat at the table to eat.

'So how's school, Sal?' asked Lily while serving big portions to the girl and Flack.

'Fine. Could you help me with my science homework?' she asked shyly.

'Sure,' her face lit up excitedly. 'It's my field of expertise,' she explained proudly to Don.

He smiled but doubted if Lily was any good at science. Yes, she was smart but science and law were worlds apart. Or at least to him.

After they had dinner Lily helped Sally with her homework. When they had finished they talked for a while and soon Jenna was at the door. After her niece left, Lily went to the kitchen and started doing the dishes. Flack joined her.

'Didn't know you were that good at science,' he said really surprised.

'Why? Because I'm a woman? I'm not smart enough for science?' her tone was icy.

'That's not what I meant. I just thought that working as a lawyer you had put physics and biology behind you, that's all,' he clarified.

'You really think I'm not smart enough?' hurt was evident in her voice.

'Lily …' Flack gave her a look.

'You really think so!' she shook her head. 'Then you'd be surprised to know that …'

His cell phone rang and he took the call. After it finished he got back to the kitchen.

'I have to get to the precinct but what were you saying?'

'Nothing. Go,' she ushered him to the door and sighed. _If he only knew …_

Some days later Lily and Flack were meeting in a nice little restaurant for their official third date. She'd gotten there five minutes early and grabbed a table. He got there panting and ten minutes late.

'Sorry I'm late, I was caught up in work,' he kissed her cheek and sat opposite Lily.

The waiter came to take their orders and when they were halfway down their dinner his phone rang. Flack took the call and after a brief conversation returned the phone to his pocket.

'That was Danny. We've got a break on our case and I've got to head back to the precinct,' he said with a grimace on his face.

'It's okay. I'll finish dinner and get back to the apartment.'

'I'm sorry,' he kissed her on the lips for a few seconds.

'Go catch a bad guy already!' she smiled to show him she wasn't mad. It was part of the job, after all.

A few minutes later it was time for _her_ phone to ring. Grabbing her purse she left the restaurant. When she got to the precinct she walked straight to the interrogation room where her client was being held.

'What are the charges against Mr. Brown?' asked Lily in a business-like tone.

'He raped a twenty year old girl,' said Danny with disgust.

'There's something called burden of proof, Detective Messer.'

'Oh, I'll give you burden of proof. His DNA was found all over the victim,' he leaned on the table and raised and eyebrow. 'How do you like _that _for a proof?'

Lily looked at her client who had remained calm during the whole ordeal and spoke with concern etched in her voice.

'May I have a word with both of you, detectives?'

She stood up and directed her steps to the other side of the one-way mirror with both Danny and a still silent Flack following her.

Flack closed the door after him and finally spoke.

'What's the matter?'

'Did he do it?'

'His DNA matched the one we collected from the rape kit and we found some of his pubic hairs on her clothes,' explained Danny.

'Did he do it?' she repeated the question more forcefully.

'Yeah,' both men said in unison.

'What a bastard!' she muttered under her breath. Uncrossing her arms she returned quickly to the interrogation room and stopped the detectives when they were going to enter. 'I need to talk to Mr. Brown.'

Three minutes later she got out.

'Mr. Brown wants to call another lawyer to defend him.'

'Did he dismiss you?' asked Flack. 'That guy's dumber than we thought.'

'I refused to take the case, actually.'

'Um, I'll get back in there, see if he wants to talk anyway,' Danny got back into the interrogation room to give them some privacy.

'Want to tell me what happened? You never drop a case,' he asked worried.

'I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I've defended a lot of scum before, it's true but this guy raped a girl. That is the only crime for which I'll never defend a guilty man,' she shook her head disgusted at the thought of actually having a rapist as a client.

'What's so special about it?'

'Don, I've been spending half my life standing up for women's rights. I defend women who have been victims of abuse at a legal clinic every week, I can't go into court representing the kind of man I always fought against,' her gaze shifted to the floor.

'That's really noble of you, you shouldn't be ashamed,' Flack lifted her chin.

'Noble?' Lily rolled her eyes.

'It shows you have principles, which is more than some of your colleagues can say.'

Flack wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

'What do you say I leave Mess working alone and we both head home, huh?' he knocked twice on the glass, Danny nodded in understanding and the couple left the precinct.

When they got to Lily's apartment, she headed straight to bed – the bed in the guest room, actually. She wanted Flack's body next to her, feel his warmth, wake up with him. He obliged. Not that she had voiced her need, it's just that no words were necessary to communicate between them.

* * *

_Sorry it took me so long! By the way; is anyone still reading this? If someone is, please let me know through a review or a message. Thank you._


	15. Disrespecting the name

_Fifteen chapters already! I want to thank:_

**kaitlyn143**

**Aphina **

**redbess**

**kayee.143**

**xdannyx**

**Mrs. William Moseley**

**delia-brindusa**

**BlueEyedAuthor**

and of course a huge thank you to:

**sparkyCSI**

**This fic wouldn't be the same without you.**

* * *

Chapter 15 – Disrespecting the name

'The super called,' said Flack one morning a couple of days later. 'I can go back to my place.'

'Finished with the fumigations?'

'Yeah. I swear, more than five weeks and I'd have shot any cockroach or rat left.'

'I still can't believe that you first had an invasion of roaches and _then_ were invaded by rats,' she smiled amused.

'Tell me about it!' he shook his head in disgust. 'That means I'm moving tomorrow.'

'Oh, okay. If you need any help packing, let me know.'

Lily stood up, grabbed her briefcase and her purse and spoke briefly.

'Bye, I'll see you when you come home.'

'Just like that? No kiss, no 'have a nice day', no nothing?'

She rolled her eyes but left her things on the floor and got to where he was standing. She kissed him hard and when they parted they were out of breath.

'That good enough?' she raised an eyebrow.

'Yes ma'am,' Flack smirked.

'Have a nice day. And be careful, will you?' said Lily softly before leaving the apartment.

'I will,' he said to himself.

The following morning Flack got up a little earlier. After having a shower he went to the kitchen, where he found her girlfriend already up and making breakfast.

'I thought you'd want to wake up earlier,' she explained and wrapped the white silk robe tighter around her body.

Flack grabbed her by the hips and pushing Lily's body against him, kissed her. After the kiss she moved to the right and flipped a pancake.

'Ohh, pancakes! My favorite,' he said and his eyes lightened up like a kid on Christmas.

'I know. Since this is your last breakfast here, I thought I should make something nice.'

'What? I can't spend the night here anymore?'

'Your last breakfast living temporarily in the apartment, you know you're always welcome,' she gave him a piercing look.

'Good, 'cause I'm gonna stop here frequently. The bed in the guest room is _very_ nice,' he grinned. 'Or maybe it's just the company.'

'Eat and stop playing games,' Lily put a plate in front of him.

'I'm not playing any games,' he said innocently while covering the pancakes with syrup. 'Wonder what it'd be like to cover you with it.'

'I'd say … sticky. And impossible because neither of us is into that food thing.' Now it was her turn to cover the pancakes with syrup and start eating them.

'I'm a New Yorker, I'm always open to new possibilities.'

'How about the possibility of you not getting any for three months? You open to that?' she dared him and got bits of her breakfast as sexily as she could into her mouth.

'I never knew eating pancakes could be this hot,' he was impressed.

'I'm guessing your answer is no,' she smiled with satisfaction.

When they finished breakfast Lily showered and got ready while Flack continued packing.

'You've got everything?' she asked already dressed in a green asymmetrical dress.

'I think so. If I forgot anything I'll pick it up later.'

'Okay. Do you need help?'

'Nah, I'm alright.'

'Then I should be leaving.'

She kissed him sweet and tender and ran a hand down his cheek afterwards.

'Have a nice day,' she paused. Her hands were now on his shoulders and his arms were still round her waist. 'And … be careful, alright?'

'Always,' he kissed her again.

Once he was alone, Flack checked that he had everything and left the apartment with a sigh. He had learned to love the place even if he'd never say it. Lots of memories had been made there. Not to mention Lily had decorated it tastefully. Yes, he'd be coming back; yes, he'd be spending the night but it wouldn't be the same. That apartment was his home more than the one he lived in. It was in a nicer neighborhood, better decorated, with more facilities, more space and the most important thing: Lily lived there. They say home's where the heart is; wherever Lily was would be his home. He didn't need a lot, just the woman that meant so much to him. He put everything in the trunk of his car and drove to the precinct for the long and tiring day that awaited him.

A long and tiring day would have been preferred to the one Flack had just had, it would have been easier for him. When he got home he threw the suitcase and the box in his living room and went straight to the shower. Once he was done he grabbed the keys to his car and drove to Lily's place. _She should be home by now_. Two knocks later she opened the door with a worried look. Flack was the only one who actually _knocked_ at the door when the doorbell worked just fine. Too many years doing it, had been his explanation. He wasn't supposed to be there, he was supposed to be settling down so that meant something was wrong. She didn't need to be and expert or to see his expression to know there was a problem, him being there was enough. She motioned him to come in and they sat on the couch.

'What happened, Don?' her tone was soft.

'Today I helped to nail a friend and colleague,' he looked down, ashamed.

'What did he do?'

'Why do you ask that?' he looked up. 'I mean, you could have asked why I did it or how it had come to that but you didn't. Why?'

'Because I trust you. And because I know you're a responsible and honest person and that you transfer that to your job; you wouldn't have done it if it wasn't the right thing to do,' she looked him straight in the eye and put a hand on top of his.

Flack sighed and started explaining everything. The dead paintball player, the cocaine, the crazy woman who had kidnapped the other paintball player, his argument with Mac and the notebook he'd given the older detective.

'I'm starting to regret this. I'm gonna get a lot of heat from the guys, they think I'm a rat.'

'Well, you shouldn't. Truby was destroying everything honest cops have built and worked for during all these years. _He_ was a disgrace to the force, not you.'

'You'd never get it but being a cop means everyone with a shield has your back. You need to trust them and if the guys don't trust me my days as a cop are numbered,' he spoke afraid of the possibility.

'I can relate to that,' she said. _Better that you think …_ 'And even if they're a bit mad or hurt, they know you did the right thing. Besides, you're a great cop and no one can deny it. Your job isn't at stake here.'

'Maybe not. My reputation is, though.'

'Look, if you hadn't given Mac the notebook, he'd have gotten it anyway and it could have brought you trouble. Your responsibility is to protect 'your guys' so you needed to set the example. You do everything by the book and the people in your team must follow your lead, simple as that,' she tried to comfort him but felt it wasn't getting any result.

'It's not the first time I had to do it, you know? Two years ago my training officer tampered with evidence trying to keep his son from going to prison.'

'And you did the right thing then but this is different. Dean Truby was selling cocaine –think how many families and lives he must have destroyed– and don't forget he killed a man.'

'Yeah, but he was under my watch. What if he hadn't killed the paintball player? He'd still be selling the drugs we confiscated and I'd have never known,' he felt guilty and ashamed and stupid.

'But you did. And you stopped him. That's what matters.'

'Sometimes I feel I'm not good enough. You know how my dad was kind of a legend in the NYPD, right?' she nodded. 'Sometimes it's like he'd be ashamed of me. Like I'm not half the cop he was,' he looked full of self-loathing.

'He shouldn't and you know that. Maybe you ought to talk to him instead of wondering what he thinks,' suggested Lily timidly.

Flack didn't say anything and they both knew he'd never have that conversation.

'You know what I hate about all this?' he shook his head so she proceeded. 'That you're here feeling like scum when Truby – who is the actual piece of trash – probably isn't having any second thoughts about what he did. You're being eaten away by guilt when you did the right thing.'

'It's just that I think about Gavin – that was my training officer's name – and about Truby, how much I trusted them, how much they let me down, how I should have seen it coming …'

'You don't doubt the people you trust and care about because you expect the best from them.'

'I'm a detective, I'm supposed to _detect_ these kind of things!'

'You aren't superman, alright? You can't know everything. You trusted them so you didn't expect them to do what they did.'

Flack buried his face on his hands.

'I know how tempting it is to dwell on the past – what you did, what you could have done – but it's not going to change anything! You don't get a second chance, the only thing you get is sadness,' she ran a hand down his cheek.

He enveloped her in a tight hug and whispered 'thank you'.

'Can I get you anything, sweetheart?' she asked and stood up.

'A kiss would be very nice.'

Lily straddled Flack slowly and with the same speed grabbed his face and planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

'That's not what I wanted,' he whined.

'I know,' she smirked and kissed him fully on the lips.

He yawned. 'I'm tired.'

'You can stay in the guest bedroom.'

'Come with me, I wanna sleep with you.'

'Come again?'

'I mean, next to you,' he explained and blushed lightly.

'You're a small kid, you know that?' she smiled lovingly and taking his hand, led him to her bedroom.

Lily walked to the closet and got one of his t-shirts and a pair of shorts.

'These are mine,' he said puzzled.

'I took them out of your suitcase just in case you ever spent the night here.'

They both changed into their nightclothes. Lily was the first to finish so she got into her bed. When he was done, he walked towards the door.

'What are you doing?' she asked tiredly.

'Going to sleep.'

'C'mere,' she said with her uncommon New York drawl and patted the other side of the bed.

'I thought men weren't allowed in your bed.'

'It was a stupid rule. We have more space here,' she shrugged. 'So … are you coming or not?'

In four seconds he was at the bed and slipping between the covers. They said their goodnights and entwined their bodies. Neither of them mentioned it but they knew that by breaking her rule she was giving Flack a huge vote of confidence. He made a vow not to disappoint her.

The following morning he was the first to wake up. After seeing that it was almost time for the alarm clock to ring, he decided to wake her up with a kiss on the neck. Lily turned around and found Flack watching her.

'Is there something attached to my face?' she asked annoyed.

'You're beautiful,' he said mesmerized by how the light that was coming from the window touched her face and body.

'I've just woken up, there's no way I can look pretty,' she rolled her eyes.

'And you _don't_ look pretty, you look beautiful,' his hand slid down her cheek.

'You're full of it, Don Flack,' she shook her head and smiled. 'I'm having a shower.' That was his cue to let go of her but he didn't.

'I'm thinking we could save some water,' he raised his eyebrows and gave her a kiss on the lips which was followed by two on her neck.

'Only if you hurry up, detective. I don't want to be late.'

'Fair enough,' he got out of bed quickly, dragging her to the bathroom.

'I need my clothes,' she protested.

'You'll get them later, let's not waste time.'

They got out ten minutes later. Looking at the watch he'd left inside the cabinet Flack spoke.

'Not only did we save water but time.'

'We can't do this every morning, though. I won't be able to keep up with you,' she wrapped a towel around her body and left the bathroom.

'Hey! Where are you going?' his arms reached for her waist and pulled her towards him.

'I need to blow dry my hair and put on some clothes,' she explained and tried to break free from his hold.

'You're still all wet,' he said and sucked some drops of water from her right shoulder.

'I don't have time.'

He repeated the action on her other shoulder and one of his hands slid up her thigh under the towel.

'You've already had enough of that. Now, could you let me go?' she was getting irked.

'Give me a kiss first,' he turned her around and kissed her deeply.

Fifteen minutes later they were both dressed and ready to leave. Lily's cell phone beeped and she read the new text message. She couldn't help but groan.

'Could you give me a lift to the 12th precinct?'

'Sure, remember that's where I'm going too. What happened?' he helped her into her coat and kissed her cheek.

'I have to go talk to a … Detective Angell. One of the newest associates is in an interrogation room with his client and needs my help to stop her. You know her?'

'Jess? Yeah. She's good.'

They left the apartment and drove up to the precinct. Before getting out Lily kissed Flack and explained she wasn't going to do it in front of all his colleagues. He agreed heartily and they stepped out of the car.

She entered the building first, one of his hands on the small of her back and they parted ways. He was going to his desk, she to an interrogation room but they both had to deal with the harsher aspects of cops. Flack was sure the other detectives weren't going to forget the 'Truby incident' soon and accordingly, he prepared himself for what was to come. The only good thing so far had been that morning with Lily. A smile crept to his lips. It had felt so right! That's how every day was supposed to start; with the beautiful woman he loved as opposed to standing next to a dead body at 3 a.m. in the freezing cold. A scream and a woman passing right by him took him out of his thoughts. The woman went back a few steps and stopped in front of him.

'That girl of yours is a handful!' said Detective Angell angrily.

Flack smiled. Lily could get infuriating sometimes when she was working but he wouldn't change her for anything in the world. He really loved _his_ girl. And he liked how that sounded too. Angell didn't know they were together but she got _that_ right.

* * *

_Thanks for reading! If you've got any comments, suggestions, ideas, doubts, feel free to review and/or send a message. I'd love some feedback._


	16. I feel it too

Chapter 16 – I feel it too

A week had passed and Lily found herself in front of a grieving woman, trying to convince her she was the best person who could take the case.

'I know how it feels to have someone close risking their lives every day. My boyfriend is a detective at the 12th precinct,' she explained. 'And I know what it's like to be afraid he won't return. I spend many hours a day praying nothing happens to him and worrying. He doesn't know it but I worry a lot about him. I'm afraid I won't see him again or get to kiss him, see his gorgeous smile or look at his eyes. Every morning I kiss him goodbye, tell him to have a nice day and the last thing I say to him is something along the lines of 'be careful, take care'. I do it hoping it protects him from danger. It's stupid, I know but I can't bring myself to stop saying it,' Lily's eyes were watery.

'Last year he was caught in a bomb blast while in a crime scene. He was my friend back then but thinking he wouldn't recover, thinking he'd be in a coma for years was too much to bear. And now I don't even want to explore the possibility of it happening again. He doesn't realize what he's doing to me because he loves his job and is proud of it. Quitting for something safer isn't an option and I understand him; I felt the same way when I was a patrol cop. Some days I want him to quit but the shield is a part of who he is and he loves his job. And I love _him_ so I'd rather worry 24/7 than see him unhappy. I'm guessing you felt the same way,' she looked at the woman in front of her and finished the speech. 'I can't say I'm the best lawyer for this because I'm probably not that skilled but I can tell you that I'll fight no matter what for this case. Because I felt and I feel the same things you do. Thank you for your time,' Lily gathered her things and tried not to cry.

'You have the case,' the woman said. 'I hope you can move the judge the same way you moved me.'

'I will. Or at least I'll try … Thank you.'

After the woman left, Lily called her friends and they arranged to meet in an hour at Meredith's place. When she got there she met Mary at the door of the building. Once inside their friend's apartment they exchanged greetings and settled down.

'I wanted to talk about something,' said Lily shyly.

'What is it honey?' asked Emily.

'I love him,' she smiled. 'I've loved him for some time but I'd never realized it.'

'We know,' Lisa smiled too.

'It was soo obvious!' interjected Mary.

'It took you too long …' Meredith rolled her eyes.

'I can't believe I was so blind! Now I understand why I did some things.'

'I told you girls, she just needed time,' gloated Emily. She just _loved_ being right.

'So what are you going to do?' wondered Mary.

'I need to tell him even if he doesn't feel the same way.'

'You kidding me?' asked Lisa disbelievingly. 'That guy would jump off a cliff if you asked him to.'

'What she's trying to say is that he loves you back,' Meredith glared at Lisa.

'I wouldn't be so sure …'

'Stop underestimating yourself! You're a wonderful woman and he loves you,' tried to reason the psychologist.

'You gonna tell him tonight?'

Lily nodded.

'Know what you're going to wear yet?' Mary's eyes had a mischievous glint.

'No clue. But it doesn't matter anyway …'

'Of course it does! You have to look prettier. You should wear the Jimmy Choos,' Mary was really excited.

'Those boots are for when I want to feel sexy. Tonight I'm telling Don how I feel; it should be deep and serious.'

'When does he get home?' asked Lisa.

'Near seven.'

'It's six thirty,' Meredith looked at her watch. 'You should be getting ready.'

'If you didn't want me here, Mer you could have told me … no need to kick me out,' joked Lily.

'I'm kicking all of you out, actually. I've got to make dinner.'

The four women left the apartment, each of them going home.

After a quick shower Lily picked a black skirt, a light blue blouse and her beloved Jimmy Choos. Those boots always make me feel confident and it's exactly what I need, she argued. Fifteen minutes later she was knocking on his door.

'Hey, I wasn't expecting you,' he said softly. 'Come in.'

She headed straight to the couch without saying hello.

'Is everything okay?' he asked concerned.

She nodded and started speaking. 'You know I had this meeting today with the widow of the cop who was killed last month,' she paused briefly and he interrupted.

'Yeah, how did it go?'

'I got the case but that's not the point. The thing is I realized something,' she bit her lip and staring right into his eyes finished talking. 'I love you, Don and I'm not expecting you to return the feeling, I just needed to tell you. I've loved you for a while now but I didn't know it.'

'I love you too,' he said earnestly. 'I didn't want to say it until you were ready, but I do. And I'm glad you return the feeling. For a moment I thought you were never going to,' Flack smiled and Lily smiled too.

'I'm glad I got it out,' she sighed.

He kissed her.

'Now, may I ask why you're looking so nice tonight, Ms. Stewart?'

'You're never satisfied, are you?'

'There's just something about you that makes me wanna take off your clothes every time I see you.'

'You're a pervert, you know that?' she shook her head.

'Yeah but you love me anyway,' he enjoyed how that word rolled of his lips.

'That I do. And for the record, you have the same effect on me; I just don't have that much stamina.'

'It's a matter of practice,' he grinned and in two seconds had her groaning.

That night they muttered the first 'I love yous' between sweat and moans. The following morning Lily woke up to the sound of Flack's neighbors leaving the apartment. She was taken aback. The kids had school at nine so they left near eight thirty but it had to be earlier. She looked at her watch and groaned with exasperation; eight thirty two. Lily got up quickly and went to the living room. She got her cell phone and made a call.

'You sure? Okay, bye,' she hung up.

'What are you doing?' asked Flack rubbing his eyes. 'Come back to bed.'

'Have you seen the time? I was supposed to be at work half an hour ago.'

'Were you talking to your boss?'

'He told me to stay home, that they needed my office for a meeting all morning and I shouldn't bother.'

'Good. My shift starts at noon so we still got some time. Can we _please_ go back to bed?' he was very tired.

They got back to the bedroom and slept for an hour and a half. Flack reluctantly had a shower and got ready for work while she stayed in bed.

'You want me to make you something to eat?' she asked with her hands on his shoulders as he fixed his tie.

'Nah, thanks.'

'You have to eat, Don.'

'I'll grab something on the way, don't worry,' he stood up from the bed, kissed her briefly and took his gun from the safe he always kept it in. Lily couldn't help but smile when she saw the code he punched.

'Are they random numbers, a date?' she played dumb and smirked.

'A date. The day life as I knew it ended,' he said looking down.

'What happened that day?' she tried to look innocent but there was a huge smile on her face.

'I met you again.'

* * *

Thanks for reading! That was chapter 16, a bit shorter than usual. Hopefully, I'll make it up for you with the next chapter. You know the drill: review, leave a comment, question, suggestion ... I like hearing from you and knowing somebody's actually reading.

**Thanks sparkyCSI for the wonderful job you're doing.**


	17. Different people

Chapter 17 – Different people

A couple of weeks passed and both Flack and Lily were getting ready for a fancy party. When she was touching up her make up he knocked on the door.

'Hey,' she let him in.

'You look really good,' he said as he looked her up and down.

'Okay, I'm ready. And you look _very_ handsome,' she grabbed her purse and they left her apartment.

When they were getting into his car, Flack spoke.

'Are you alright? You seem weird.'

'I'm just nervous, I hate these parties. Not to mention I'm bringing a date.'

'Take it that's a first?'

'It is.'

'You afraid I'll embarrass you?' he asked seriously.

'No!' she dismissed the idea as ridiculous. 'I'm afraid they'll embarrass you.'

'What?'

'Oh, remember they're lawyers. They can get pretty nasty if they want to,' she exhaled. 'I'm afraid you'll hate me after meeting them.'

'Don't be silly,' he smiled and gently squeezed her hand.

'You'll see why I say it.'

They pulled over and after giving the keys to the valet, got inside the building where White, Brandson & Jordan was giving a party to celebrate the firm's 105th anniversary. The couple got into the room where the party was being held with a sigh from her part and his hand on the small of her back.

'It's gonna be okay,' he whispered.

Lily walked round the room saying hello to colleagues and clients alike and introducing Don.

'You want me to get you a drink?' he asked after a while, overwhelmed with all the people he'd met.

'A glass of water, if you don't mind.'

'Sure,' he left her side to get the drinks and returned five minutes later. 'Funny how people say anything behind your back.'

'Subtlety isn't their trademark. What did you hear?' she was both apprehensive and curious.

'Lots of things; that I'm actually an escort, that I'm a charity case for you, that you're desperate and aren't getting any,' to this she snorted. 'Oh, and that you're sleeping with me to get inside information on cases.'

'I told you, rumors spread really fast,' she shook her head in disgust.

'Don't worry about it, they're jealous.' She raised and eyebrow. 'You're looking even more gorgeous than usual and you've got good company tonight …'

'Only tonight?' she blinked.

'Lily! Great to see you!' a man in his mid-sixties interrupted.

'Mr. Nikkos, always a pleasure,' she smiled politely.

'Who is this young gentleman with you?' he faked a smile.

'That'd be my boyfriend, Don Flack,' the men shook hands.

'I was hoping I could steal her for a dance?'

'I only deal with you when it's business Mr. Nikkos, you know that,' Lily politely put him in his place and he left to chase some other woman.

'Nice,' Flack nodded appreciatively.

'He's disgusting, trying to sleep with every younger woman that crosses his path.'

'Ms. Stewart, looking nice tonight.'

'Why all so formal, Nicky?' she turned around after recognizing the voice and smiled.

'You can never be too careful,' he said and glanced at Don. 'Nick Holtz.'

'Don Flack.'

'Could you entertain Don for a minute? I've got to talk to Sam.'

'Sure.' The men started a conversation on sports as she went in search of one of the partners.

'Sam, what happened?' she found him with a frown on his face.

'Everybody's talking about you, Lily. You and that guy you brought,' he was concerned.

'Well, he _is_ extremely handsome,' reasoned Lily.

'They're not only talking about that, they're putting your – and therefore our – reputation into question. So I need to know, are you really getting information from him?'

'I can't believe you're asking me this,' she shook her head in disappointment. 'If he was my spy in the NYPD, would I bring him to the party?'

'Maybe you're sending a message.'

'I am. I love this man and I wanted all of you to meet him.'

'Why?'

'Because I'm sick and tired of seeing how everyone gets married or has a date and I'm always alone. So now, I'm with a great man and I want to share my success. But, no, I _must_ be dirty and unethical and so must he,' she was annoyed.

'We don't know that, Lily. You were Jeff's golden girl, whatever you did he always backed you up so we never got to know you. Now that he's gone and you're a partner we're going to question every move you make and we're in our right to do so.'

'Apparently not only was Jeff the only who knew me but the only one who trusted and respected me. It's good to know. I've got a boyfriend to return to,' she walked quickly.

'There's no way the Colts are going to win,' said Nick and Lily smiled.

'He only says that because he's a Patriot's fan.'

'That's not true. After seeing the Bears play I can honestly say they deserve to win,' Nick smirked and there was a mischievous glint in his eyes.

'He's a Patriot's fan,' said Lily again, this time looking at Flack.

'You think the Colts have a chance?' asked the detective.

'I don't care who wins if we don't get to play in the finals.'

'How long is it since the Giants won a Super Bowl?'

'1990,' Flack was ashamed.

'But we got to the finals in 2000, that should count for something.'

'That's pathetic!' the younger man clicked his tongue and went for a drink.

'He's a nice kid,' said Flack with a nod.

'He is. I was thinking that maybe we could leave now,' Lily bit her lip.

'We've only been here for an hour.'

'I hate these parties, remember? I always leave early.'

'Okay, you sure you wanna go home?'

'Yes, please. Your place, if you don't mind.'

They grabbed their coats, waited patiently for the valet to come with the car and drove silently to Flack's place. Once inside the apartment Flack spoke.

'What's the matter? You've been really quiet and withdrawn.'

'I think that … that we should break up,' she looked down and bit her bottom lip so hard she almost drew blood.

'What? Why?' Flack was taken aback.

'Everybody's putting our character into question, Don. We could even lose our jobs for it.'

'So what? It's not the first time and it won't be the last. But hey, if you want to use it as an excuse because I embarrass you, go ahead,' he was mad.

'I could start over again and practice law somewhere else. I'm doing it for you because you can't leave everything behind. FYI, you could _never_ embarrass me. Do you think I like doing this?'

'Right, make me the guilty one.'

'This is not about guilt, Don; it's about protecting everything we've worked so hard to get. It's a sacrifice.'

'And what are you sacrificing?'

'My happiness, my life with you,' she started crying at this point.

'So don't do this!' he pleaded. 'Do you love me?'

'You know I do.'

'Then stay with me and we'll get through this,' he hugged her and they stood like that until she stopped crying.

'We were doing good, don't bail on me now and most importantly: don't let them win. So what do you say?'

'Sorry for doing this. I just didn't want to mess up our lives but I should …' he interrupted her with a passionate kiss.

'I want you to promise me something,' his tone was serious as he entwined their fingers. 'That you won't pull off something like that again.'

'You've got my word,' she squeezed his hand.

'Good. After a long, long night, I'd like to go to sleep, what about you?'

'You come up with all the brilliant ideas, Don.'

They walked hand in hand to the bedroom and started taking off their clothes.

'Help me with the zipper, will you?' she asked.

He did as he was told and watched enthralled as the dress slowly fell to her feet.

'You want one of my t-shirts?'

'That'd be appreciated.'

'Take it out.'

Lily chose an old NYPD t-shirt and when they were already in bed, his arms around her, the lights went off.

Two weeks later, both Lily and Flack were getting ready for a party at his apartment. He had one eye on the TV and the other on his girlfriend who was running from the bedroom to the bathroom and vice versa.

'We still got half an hour before we have to leave,' he yelled, trying to calm her.

'I've so many things to do!'

Flack rolled his eyes. Women! It took them hours and hours to get ready. Not that he didn't like the results, because he did but was all that time necessary? Now that she came out of the bedroom, hell yes! If almost three hours got his girlfriend looking like a Greek goddess it was more than worth it. He was stunned when he saw her ready. She was wearing a golden gown with only one shoulder that looked like a Greek tunic and her hair had big curls and two golden barrettes on the top of her head which were taking some locks out of her face.

'It's not a costume party, you don't have to look like Aphrodite,' he said without taking his eyes off her.

'I know there's a compliment in there but I can't point it out …' Lily gave him a small smile. 'I'm ready.'

'I just need my jacket,' he stood up and went for it.

When they were almost getting to their destination, Lily sighed loudly.

'It's gonna be okay,' he found himself saying again. This time he was sure of it, though. 'You know everybody already.'

'That's the problem, Don! I know them and they hate me,' she had a worried look.

'They don't, they sometimes hate your job, that's all.'

'My job is part of who I am, sweetheart.'

'Don't freak out, alright? It'll be fine.'

Flack entered the room where the Policeman's Ball was being held along side his girlfriend, one of his hands, as usual, on the small of her back. This time though, it was _his_ turn to greet people he knew and introduce his date. She already knew most of the detectives and some of the other cops he introduced her to and except for a few jokes about her profession and her role in that party, everything was fine. The couple got to the table they were sat at and greeted the only person who was occupying a chair.

'Detective Angell, nice to see you again,' Lily offered her hand as a peace gesture. She was aware of how angry the other woman had gotten the last time they'd met.

'Ms. Stewart,' she shook her hand.

'You can call me Lily.'

They then turned to greet the people gathered around the next table. Lily relaxed, she got along well with a few of them. She greeted Danny and Hawkes with the usual hug, Mac with the accustomed nod of the head and the rest of the team with a warm smile. They all returned the greetings to the couple and talked for a while.

Lily laughed at one of Danny's jokes and when she looked to her side saw Flack had wandered off probably to go meet some colleague. At first she freaked out and felt uncomfortable without him but then realized everything was okay.

When it was time for dinner everyone sat at the table. Stella asked Lily why her plate was untouched and she started telling a story about an arrogant ex co-worker. How she had been through an extreme diet to get into a dress and that night at the party had eaten as if there was no tomorrow.

'So we hear a slight 'crack' and then she stands up and we see her dress had opened at the seams. I've never eaten at a party ever since,' she smiled.

Everyone started laughing, the women wincing a bit.

'What happened to her?' asked Hawkes.

'She ran out of the party and left the firm five days after it.'

Everybody finished eating and it was time for dessert. Flack asked his girlfriend if she wanted some cake and she shook her head.

'It's really good,' he got a forkful into his mouth and licked the fork.

'And it's going straight here,' she smiled sweetly and patted his belly.

That made some of the others smile.

'Won't be there for long,' Flack defended himself. 'I burn a lot of calories.'

'Watching TV on the couch does that to you,' the sarcasm evident in her voice.

'Hey, I run a lot on the job.'

'Yeah, he always gets the runners,' said Mac and they started sharing stories of all the times Flack had chased suspects.

After dessert the band started playing and most couples got to the dance floor.

'Dance with me?' whispered Flack to Lily.

'I don't think so.'

'C'mon!' he took her hand and led her to the dance floor. They started swaying to the slow music.

'You know that everybody's watching us, don't you?'

'Yeah. Why do you care?' he made her spin.

'I'm extremely self-conscious, you know that. I mean, you see these people every day …' her arms were round his neck again.

'So what?'

'Why did you do this? You don't dance and neither do I.'

'I just wanted to dance with the most beautiful woman in the room and show everybody that you're with me.'

'I'm like a trophy girlfriend, then?' she smiled and waited for his answer.

'No, but I enjoy you getting all the looks.'

'Are you kidding? Every woman in this room wants me to drop dead and take over.'

'That's not true,' he rolled his eyes.

'They all want me to die and I get it, you look too good in a suit,' their eyes locked in a loving gaze and he pushed her body closer to him.

'Remember where we are,' she warned him.

'I'm not gonna do anything inappropriate. At least not yet,' he grinned.

Lily leaned to kiss his cheek but Flack moved his face and trapped her lips with his.

'You're mean!' she blushed.

'Don't know why it embarrasses you.'

'Me neither, it just does,' she looked into his eyes for the millionth time that night. 'I love you.'

'Me too,' he kissed her cheek.

The song ended and they parted ways; she went to sit down and he went to talk to one of his guys.

'Young love!' exclaimed Sid and Lily blushed.

Only Adam, Hawkes and Lily had stayed at the party and the table long enough to hear many stories from Sid. At one thirty Flack suggested going home.

'Can I please hear the end of the story?' she pleaded and he couldn't say no.

The couple left ten minutes later.

'Had fun?' he put his arm round her waist.

'Yes, they're great. Especially Sid,' she grinned.

'Good.'

'Were you worried they wouldn't like me?'

'Nah, if you get someone like Mac to like you, the rest is easy.'

She couldn't help but think the difference between her co-workers and Don's and wish she could work alongside them. But she wasn't that lucky.

* * *

_Okay people, here's the next chapter. Leave a review and tell me what you think. Comments, suggestions and what not are always welcome._

**Thanks to sparkyCSI for being an awesome beta.**


	18. Changes

Chapter 18 – Changes

It had been a slow morning for Lily at the firm so she took a break to go talk to Mary, who was equally bored.

'What happened? Did rich people suddenly decide to stop filing lawsuits against each other or something?' a frustrated Lily asked her friend.

'Didn't you hear, Lil? Our five biggest clients left the firm.'

'That's not possible, three of them are my personal clients and they never called me.'

'Two of them were seen at Perry & Perry and the other one has yet to appear at another firm. I'm sorry,' Mary's voice was serious. White, Brandson & Jordan was going to lose a lot of money without those clients.

'I can't believe it! Know how much we're going to lose? Why leave now?'

'Well, rumor has it that Sam Martinez's wife is filing for a millionaire divorce.'

'Everyone's getting divorced these days, why the big deal?'

'You never get out of your office, do you?' Mary sounded exasperated. 'He'd been doing his secretary for over two years. Bought her a car and everything.'

Lily couldn't believe what she was hearing. It had to be a joke, it couldn't be really happening.

* * *

Flack answered the phone and sighed in relief when he heard the voice on the other side.

'Something wrong, honey?'

'Yeah, Lil. Mac's being investigated and accused of something he didn't do. He didn't throw Dobson off that roof. You know the guy, he never bends the rules.'

'Then I'm sure he'll be cleared up and everything will turn out alright.'

'Yeah, yeah,' he wasn't so convinced. 'You got any good news, babe?'

'Not really, sorry. Today I organized my office because I had no work to do.'

'Great.'

'And really interesting too,' she laughed. 'Sorry I can't be more helpful.'

'You are. Keep talking.'

'What about?'

'Whatever, I just like hearing your voice,' he confessed and blushed. Good thing Lily wasn't seeing him.

'That means you never listen to a word I say? It's sweet, anyway,' she had a big smile on her face. 'You shouldn't be embarrassed.'

'I'm not,' he lied.

'I bet you're blushing right now, isn't that a sign of embarrassment?'

'Nah, it's a sign that I can't hide anything from you,' he smiled in amusement.

'I'm sure you could if you tried …'

'But I don't wanna try, Lil.'

'Good, makes it easier for me. I miss you …'

'We saw each other yesterday, babe.'

'They're long twenty four hours and I won't get to see you until 9 p.m. tomorrow; I have to wait even more,' she sighed and pouted even though he couldn't see her.

'Don't be such a girl and stop pouting. We'll be together tomorrow night and in the mean time we're on the phone.'

'Guess you've got me figured out too,' Lily laughed.

'Why so surprised?' he tried to sound hurt.

'Don't know, wasn't expecting it.'

'I know all your quirks,' he stated and then explained, 'you're twirling a lollypop in your mouth but now you stopped just to say I was wrong and you're probably wearing that old NYPD t-shirt I left at your place. But please don't take it off because I'd be forced to pay you a visit.'

'For a minute there I forgot you were a man. The last comment reminded me of the fact, though,' she couldn't suppress a chuckle.

'Of course I'm a man!' he sounded offended.

'With that husky voice you've got I could never forget it, you know what I meant.'

'You think my voice is sexy?' he whispered, making his voice even deeper.

'Don't mess with me, Don,' she warned him and bit her lip, holding back a groan.

'I'm not messing with you,' he kept speaking in the same tone.

'You want to drive me crazy but you won't be able do it.'

'You sure?'

'I'll hang up if I have to.'

'That means you do think my voice is sexy?'

'You've got no idea,' now it was her time to whisper.

Flack smirked. He was so going to use that information against her in the future!

'Didn't know you liked it so much.'

'Please use the information responsibly, will you?' she begged.

'Responsibly?'

'Don't drive me out of my mind every time we're on the phone, please.'

'I'll do my best,' he smirked.

'I doubt that but don't worry, I'll be sure to get back at you.'

'And I'm sure I'll enjoy it when you do.'

'Or maybe you'll suffer,' she said mischievously.

'One man's suffering is another man's pleasure ...'

'You into S&M and didn't tell me?' she joked.

'Depends; you up for it?'

'Dream on, sweetheart.'

'I will.'

'Okay. It's getting late so I should probably go to bed.'

'Sleep tight, Lil.'

'You too. I love you, be careful tomorrow and I'll see you at night.'

'Love you too, g'night.'

They both hung up with a smile on their faces. The other one made them happy and always made them feel safe and that was all they needed. A simple sentence made them smile and feel better. They didn't need big demonstration of love because to them; love was in the simple things.

The following day Lily entered the Crime Lab and after going through all the security protocols needed, knocked on Mac Taylor's office. He motioned her to go in and they shook hands.

'How may I help you today, Ms. Stewart?' he asked, his voice tired.

'I know you've got a lot on your plate right now so I'll be brief: I wanted to see if you already had a lawyer representing you.'

'I do, yes.'

'Well, if he ever needs any help …' she looked him in the eye to show she was serious. 'May I ask who's handling the case?'

Mac gave her the name of the lawyer who was going to present the case against him.

'Ah, yes. I know her, she's good. Her strength lies in cross-examination,' she nodded. 'Really tough to beat her, so again, I'd be delighted to help.'

'Thanks for your support, Lily, I'll tell my attorney.'

Three evenings later Lily slammed the door of her apartment, startling Flack in the process.

'What's wrong?' he asked while opening a soda can.

'Remember how Sam Martinez lectured me a couple of weeks ago? Well, it seems he didn't care much about the reputation of the firm when he was having an affair with his secretary,' she was mad.

'He was an idiot anyway and you know it.'

'But we keep losing clients! We've lost our ten biggest clients. Too many scandals surrounding the partners.'

He shrugged as saying 'these things happen all the time'.

'You know what? I need to work in another environment. I should probably change firms or maybe return to the NYPD; I'd like that.'

'Don't you like working there? It must beat working in legal aid at the police department.'

'I did. Not anymore, though; I'm sick and tired of all these scandals. I love the firm but I won't let a pair of idiots destroy my career,' she shook her head a couple of times. 'And working at the NYPD beats dealing with rich people 24/7, it gets frustrating. Not to mention you feel like you're actually helping somebody and doing something good.'

'Maybe you should wait a bit, see how things turn out,' suggested Flack. 'You know, out of respect and love for the firm. If you feel you've had enough, then quit.'

'I'll give it a week. That way I'll have time to think about the available options I've got.'

'Fair enough,' he didn't want her to rush into anything she would later regret.

'You're the best, you know that?' he grinned and she kissed him.

'I'm aware of my greatness,' another cheeky grin.

'When I gave you my spare key, Don, It wasn't for you to come and empty my fridge, you know?' she hadn't noticed the soda can before.

'I was waiting for you and got thirsty.'

'Right. And now that you're here you're staying for dinner, aren't you?'

'If you insist …'

Lily shook her head but couldn't stop a small laugh escaping her lips.

'So how about _your_ work?' she asked.

'Between the kid dressed as an angel and John McEnroe … Well, we've had easier cases.'

'Sorry,' she said apologetically.

'I've got an idea,' said Flack while his girlfriend moved around the kitchen.

'Are you going to share it anytime soon or do I have to wait until the next millennium?'

'Seeing as we're so stressed and all,' he was now standing behind her. He put his arms round her waist and placed his chin on her right shoulder. 'What do you say we leave the city for the weekend, huh? Escape from everyone and all our responsibilities. Just the two of us alone; no phone calls, no rushing off to work, no dead people,' the man spoke softly in her ear.

'Mmm … sounds great but don't you have to work?'

'Saturday's my day off and I've got a few vacation days left, so what's your answer?'

'Where are we going?' she turned around and faced him.

'Don't worry about that,' he smiled mischievously, 'I'll handle it.'

Saturday morning the couple entered a small cabin in the middle of the woods.

'So this is what you meant by escaping from everything,' Lily was shocked at the simplicity of the place and how rustic it looked.

The only evidence of modern technology in the cabin was the kitchen that worked with gas and the light bulbs that shone softly in every room. Where the electricity came from was a complete mystery, though.

The cabin had the minimum amount of furniture needed: an old battered couch next to the fireplace, a table big enough for three with its respective chairs and a small cupboard above the kitchen sink where the kitchen utensils were stored. The bedroom had the bed, a lamp and a small closet and that was it. There were no rugs, no artwork, no hunting trophies; nothing. It was minimalist and rustic to a t.

'You turned you cell phone off, right?' he gave her a sharp look.

'Didn't bring it. Besides, you wouldn't get reception in this place even if you had a tower in the front porch.'

'True. What do you wanna do first?'

'I'd like to get some sleep but that probably won't make my muscles stop aching.'

'How did that happen?'

'Well, honey, your car isn't really designed for three-hour trips,' she smiled sweetly.

'I know what we can do,' he smirked mischievously and steered her to a door on the left of the cabin.

Flack opened the door and when Lily saw what was in there she started laughing.

'Oh, you've _got_ to be kidding me! Cliché or what?' in front of them was a small circular Jacuzzi with water inside.

'My friend filled it for us when he came last night to check the place. So how about using it?' he raised his eyebrows.

'Didn't bring my swimsuit.'

'I packed it for you but you won't wear it for long,' Flack licked his bottom lip.

'This is your friend's place, you really want to leave your fluids in his Jacuzzi?'

'He said it was fine as long as we cleaned up.'

'We both know that's not easy,' she gave him a look that said 'you should know better'.

'It's not like he'll come with an ALS to check,' he rolled his eyes. 'C'mon.'

They changed into their swimsuits and returned to the room. Flack got into the Jacuzzi first and Lily sat near the edge with her feet in the water.

'You getting in or what? Don't be such a cupcake!' Flack got to where she was, pushed her legs a bit aside and stood between them. He then put his hands on her hips and as he kissed her he gave a few steps back, dragging her into the pool.

'Not fair! That was an ambush,' she pouted.

'All's fair in love and war.' He still had a hold on her.

'What is this, love or war?'

'A little bit of both,' he kissed her fiercely and then moved to her neck.

When they got out of the tub, they were feeling like different people. After getting dressed the couple sat on the old maroon couch and cuddled. Lily buried her face on the crook of his neck and put her arms around him while his left hand lay above one of her knees and the right one played with her hair. He would occasionally kiss her head but neither of them spoke. They were thinking about how nice that cabin was and what a good idea it had been to spend the weekend there. They were thinking about their relationship; how much it had evolved and what they felt about each other. They were enjoying the quiet and the silence they could never find in New York City.

Then the night came and after that the sun rose again. Flack sat on the bench in the porch while Lily was getting the coffee ready. After dividing it in two cups and adding sugar and all the stuff they needed to drink it, she joined him. Handing him one of the cups she sat down close to him and spread a blanket over their laps.

'Seems like the movies, doesn't it?' Lily asked with a smile.

'Yeah. Real life is so much better, though,' Flack put an arm around her shoulders.

They sat in silence, drinking their coffee and most importantly: being together. A day later they were traveling back to the city.

'Can't we just stay here forever?' asked Lily while putting her head on his shoulder.

'Sorry, gotta get back to work,' he didn't want to leave either. Because leaving meant having to deal with real and difficult problems he didn't want to face. Those two days he'd been relaxed, in contact with nature, spending a lot of time with his girlfriend and it'd been nice. A good thing. But good things always come to an end.

Lily sighed and they both got into the car.

'It was fun and really nice to get away from it all, thank you,' she squeezed his hand.

Flack didn't say anything but winked at her, he had enjoyed it too.

* * *

'You made your choice?' asked Flack from the couch one evening.

'I'm getting out,' she stated with a nod.

'Where are you gonna go?'

'A friend offered me a job. He and some colleagues are creating a new firm and they want me to be a partner. They need someone to attract and bring big clients and the best thing is I don't have to put any money, just my name,' she was waiting for his reaction.

'So you said yes?' he wanted confirmation and she nodded. 'Then congratulations.'

'Are you actually approving this?' Lily was confused. She thought Flack wouldn't like the choice she'd made. His strong sense of loyalty would have prevented him from agreeing with her decision; she was leaving the ship while it was sinking, after all.

'If it makes you happy, makes _me_ happy …'

'You're a sweetheart, thanks.'

* * *

Sorry for the wait people but life's been ... hectic. Way too many changes in too little time. Thanks for reading and you know the speech by now: leave a review with comments, opinions, suggestions, criticism; whatever.

_I want to thank:_

**iheartcsinewyork**

**You cant rush science.**

**Mrs. Eddie Cahill**

_A huge thanks to:_

**BlueEyedAuthor -** you rock!

_And a very, very special thank you to:_

**sparkyCSI**

_You're incredibly patient with me and always come up with the best ideas, could I ask for a better beta?_


	19. Out of business

Chapter 19 – Out of business

That night when Flack entered his apartment he saw Lily was waiting for him.

'Hey, what are you doing here?' he asked, but she didn't answer.

'So you heard, huh?' his gaze on the ground, he sat down besides her.

'Oh, I heard enough,' Lily sounded upset. 'I just want to know, what were you thinking?'

'Both Danny and Adam are gonna be alright.'

'I know, I went by the hospital before coming. But you didn't answer my question, are you out of your mind?'

'I'm too tired for games, Lily, what are you talking about?' his patience was running out.

'You asked the Irish mob guy to swap Danny and Adam for you,' he froze and she gave him a sharp look. 'Should I be committing you in a mental institution or what?' now they were standing up, facing each other.

'They both were injured; Danny's my friend and hell, Adam isn't even a cop! What was I supposed to do?' he raised his voice.

'They got out okay by themselves.'

'And what if they hadn't?'

'You wouldn't have stood a chance either,' she was close to tears.

'One instead of two.'

'We aren't talking about numbers, Don! We're talking real people here,' her voice raised a few tones too.

'That's why I wanted to swap.'

'So you'd go into a building to die instead of seeing how things turned out?' he was silent and that was all the answer she needed. 'I knew you had a hero complex but this is just too much,' she was angry.

'It's my job, it's what I do, it's who I am!' he yelled.

'And what about your life? Isn't it good enough, don't you have any plans for the future?'

'I'm a cop, my life could end any day I wake up and go to work,' she clearly wasn't getting it.

'So life's just passing through until you get killed?' Lily's voice could be heard in the next apartment. 'You're out of your mind!'

'Maybe it's easy for you to say that, sitting in a comfortable chair all day long but out there …'

'No plans for you then? No ambition besides being a good cop?'

'What do you want me to say? That I want a wife, a dog and twenty kids? It's not gonna happen,' his voice was loud and harsh.

'I want you to say that you won't endanger yourself unnecessarily, that you don't want the people who love you to mourn you anytime soon, that you want something out of life that doesn't involve your badge.'

'I've had a tough day and you're here busting my balls and whining, I can't believe it! I thought you were different …' he shook his head in disappointment. 'You don't want to _mourn me_: get out of my life.'

'What?' she was confused and angry.

'Yeah, I'm breaking up with you. Go find someone who doesn't put his life on the line, that way you won't have to suffer,' his tone was icy.

'Maybe I will. I'll find someone who doesn't act like a jerk because I care about him,' with those words full of rage Lily left the apartment and slammed the door.

She walked home trying to get rid of her anger and sadness as Flack sat on the couch and buried his face on his hands for a very long time.

He'd been trying to hurt her and he ended up destroying their relationship. Truth was, he'd been scared too. Even if he was a seasoned cop, no one ever prepared you for dying. Flack was still scared and hearing the sadness and fear in her voice only made it worse. He wasn't going to break down and cry, that wasn't him. So he did the only thing he could to get it off his chest: scream and get mad at someone. Problem was, he'd pushed away the person he most wanted at his side.

* * *

'I'm sorry, honey,' Emily hugged Lily the following morning.

'It's okay,' she said proudly, 'I can live without him.'

'Lil, I've never seen you cry so much,' Meredith was heartbroken, she hated seeing her friend like this.

'I'm overwhelmed, that's all. He made the right decision, he clearly doesn't care about me so what's the point in being together?'

'I think he loves you but had gone through a very stressful day and burst,' said the psychologist.

'I need you to be a friend on this one, Em. Don't defend him and tell me he's a jerk.'

'Of course he's a jerk, he wouldn't have broken up with you otherwise,' Meredith was always the first to attack a man who had hurt one of her friends.

'I'm sure he'll come round soon and see what he's done,' Emily assured Lily.

'As far as I'm concerned, I hope he gets killed soon. That's what he wants, anyway.'

'You don't want that, you're just upset.'

* * *

'What have we got, Flack?' asked Danny while reaching a crime scene. 'Whoa – you look like crap, what the hell happened to you?'

'The vic's Shawn Trenti, 34 …' he gave Danny all the information he had gathered so far but said nothing else.

Truth was Flack didn't only look like crap but was feeling that way. He hadn't shaved that morning and had bags under his eyes due to the three hours of sleep he'd had that night. His shirt was wrinkled and to make things worse – if that was even possible – he'd spilled coffee all over his tie. His appearance was nice compared to what he was feeling, though.

Flack was mad at himself, hurt, sad and completely frustrated. The night before had been horrible. He'd made a huge mistake by breaking up with Lily and he'd known it from the moment she turned around and left his apartment. It was too late now. He couldn't take back the things he'd said although he would do it in a heartbeat if given the chance. She was never going to forgive him so he had to move on. The question was: how would he do that? He'd think about that later, he had a job to do now.

* * *

A frustrated Lily was screaming in front of the mirror when her phone rang.

'Good morning, how are you?' asked Lisa on the other side of the phone.

'I'm hating life right now,' Lily frowned.

'Why?'

'Well, you know I eat a lot of chocolate and sugar when I'm upset to make me feel better, right? After a whole week of doing it my clothes don't fit.'

'I can lend you some if you want, I'll go by in a bit.'

'No, it's okay. I can still put them on, they're just tighter and make me look fatter.'

'You'll lose it quickly.'

'How? It's only been a week, I'm not feeling better.'

'I know it's too soon but there's a guy at work who wants to meet you.'

'Like in a date?'

'That's right.'

'No way!'

'Okay but you'll have to get back on the dating pool eventually.'

'Eventually, not now.'

* * *

The alarm rang at six and Flack cursed. He wanted to sleep for a whole day and instead got seven hours. It had been better than the previous days but it wasn't enough. He and Lily had broken up a week ago and he _still_ couldn't get a decent eight hours of sleep. He had given up on them, hadn't even tried to talk to her or get back together. That made him feel a bit guilty but it was a decision he'd made; fighting wasn't worth it and he was going to get over Lily. He had to.

* * *

After going through the chocolate eating phase Lily had stopped eating altogether. She was sinking into depression and it was something totally new to her and out of character. She was the kind of woman who faced everything that came her way and never gave up but this time it was different. It was as if a piece of her had died when Flack said those five little words: _get out of my life_. She didn't understand how such a short sentence could have changed her life so much. But it had and she had to deal with it.

Lily felt like she was drowning in the middle of the sea; she couldn't swim or get a hold of anything, it was just water around her. Miles and miles of water and she was alone. She shook her head as those thoughts entered her mind; what a drama queen! Her boyfriend had dumped her, she'd live. Still, the emptiness didn't go away. She wasn't feeling better because truth is, mind and rationality can never rule a heart. Her feelings couldn't go away in a couple of hours, she needed time. Time to realize there was a man out there who could love her unconditionally and that she could feel the same about him. Time to let go all the sadness and pain and heal the wounds.

* * *

Flack was finding this harder than he thought. Apparently Lily had a strong hold on his heart and it wasn't so easy to forget her. But he would soon enough, he was sure of it. Didn't know how, at least not yet but he had the confidence of a man who had gone through a lot of things and remained unscathed.

* * *

Lily was getting better. Two weeks and a half after breaking up with Flack she was feeling like herself again. She was still sad and heartbroken but the pain was slowly going away. It had to, there was no other option. It was clear he didn't want her back and that hurt. Because Lily said she loved him and meant it. Obviously _he _hadn't. One part of her believed she'd love him forever, that Don Flack owned a piece of her heart. That he didn't want it didn't change the fact that it was his and a part of her heart would always have his name. It was the pure and simple truth.

* * *

That night was the police/fire hockey game and as usual, he was playing. Hanging out with other cops, playing hockey and giving to charity was the mix of three things he really enjoyed. Beating the fire department guys was an added bonus. In that same charity event, life was going to throw Don Flack a snap shot.

A girl younger than him approached Flack and started talking to him. Somehow, without him realizing what he was doing, he ended on a date with her a couple of days later.

She wasn't the smartest bulb on the Christmas tree but she was pretty and liked going to charity events. The fact that she did it for the party itself and not because she wanted to help was neither here nor there. They looked good together as pretty people always do but it wasn't only that. She was carefree, you could even say irresponsible and that was exactly what he needed: someone who didn't make a fuss out of his job or his way of living. It was one of Lily's flaws – she took everything too seriously. But he wasn't making a comparison, not at all. They were two completely different women who happened to be part of his life at different moments.

This relationship with Devon wasn't going to last forever and they both knew it. It wasn't what they wanted anyway. They had fun together, they shared a few things and although they became a couple, it was free from the burden of 'I love yous' and sharing a place and all the other things that usually came with this kind of commitment. That was what Flack wanted at the moment and he guessed what she wanted for her life but he couldn't be so sure of that. Sometimes people grow up.

* * *

Ah, Snow Day! What a good episode, not one of my favorites but still. Thanks to those of you who are reading. I'd like to know your opinion so leave a review with comments, suggestions, criticism, praise (why not?) or anything else you want to say. By the way, brace yourselves for the next chapter because the plot is going to thicken.

**A very special thanks to sparkyCSI; you're the best!**


	20. Forgotten, not forgiven

Chapter 20 – Forgotten, not forgiven

The interrogation had ended, Lily's client had been taken to lockup and it was only her and Flack in the room. He handed her some papers and she was storing them in her briefcase when his phone rang.

'Flack. Yeah, sure … I'll see you there, bye.'

'That the new girlfriend?' she asked curiously and he looked surprised. 'Don't look so stunned, word traveled after that gang broke into her apartment last week.'

Flack nodded reluctantly and walked behind her while she left the room.

'Essex? No. What's her name?'

'Devon,' he answered curtly.

'Ah, well, it was a shire county …' she smiled, amazed at her own wittiness and left him standing in the hustle and bustle of the precinct, trying to suppress a grin.

Two days later fate reunited Flack and Lily in the same space again. However, this time it was a party. Devon had been invited this year and she had dragged Flack along while Lily was a usual guest. Being a legal advisor to very important people in Manhattan got her invited to many social gatherings she hated but _had_ to attend anyway.

Some time into the party guests were talking and dancing when a scream made the music stop and the people gather around the woman who had shouted. She had found one of the guests lying in a pool of blood.

Flack took charge of the situation by making everyone step away from the crime scene and telling them not to leave the room before calling Dispatch to alert them of the circumstances. The problem was he couldn't leave the body alone but he had to talk to the guards at the door and assemble all the employees to make sure nobody left. When he was trying to figure out how to do this, Lily approached him and asked for his badge. She knew he always carried it with him in case something like this happened, even when he was wearing a tux. He gave it to her, a bit unsure of what she was going to do with it and saw her walk quickly to the doors.

Lily showed the badge to the two men at the doors and told them nobody left until it was cleared by her.

Afterwards, she crossed the ballroom in a few strides and got to the kitchen where she told the staff they had to go to the main room and wait there. They all obeyed except one of the cooks, who started running. Lily grabbed a potato from the counter and threw it at one of the waste bins. It hit it in the right angle, making it fall to the ground. The cook was so busy trying to escape that he didn't see the trash can on the floor and tripped with it, falling on his face. In a few steps she'd gotten to where he was and after putting his arms behind his back, lifted him from the floor and took him to the main room. Once back to the crime scene, they walked to where Flack was, Lily having a strong hold of his arms.

'This one tried to escape,' she told the detective. 'I'm guessing ex-con.'

Flack pushed the cook into a chair not too gently and told one of the uniforms that had just arrived to watch him.

Lily returned the badge to its owner just as Mac and Stella entered the room. After being interviewed by a uniform she left the building and was going to head home when her phone started ringing. She groaned after hanging up and took a cab to the 12th Precinct. Walking through the all too familiar corridors she stopped in front of an interrogation room and got in. Devon was sitting in a chair, her arms round her body, a bit scared of the room she was in. It was cold and not only because of the temperature. All that grayness made her feel uncomfortable and Lily's heart softened a bit.

'I'm Lillian Stewart and your father asked me to be your lawyer,' she extended her hand.

Danny entered with a case file in his hand and sat down in front of both women. He was going to start talking when Devon whispered something into her lawyer's ear.

'Detective, my client would like her boyfriend not to watch this interrogation,' said Lily uncomfortably.

He glanced at the mirror and Devon relaxed into her chair. Danny and Lily shared a look; they knew Flack hadn't moved and was still watching.

'Okay, now that we've settled that, why is she being questioned?'

'We found a lipstick print on our vic and it matches the one your client gave us as an elimination sample.'

'He's my dad's friend, I kissed his cheek,' Devon didn't understand why all that fuss over a kiss.

'Right now that's the only lead that ties him to someone at the party. You were there.'

'I said hello to him …'

'What is your dress made of? Synthetic velvet made with cotton?' Danny changed the subject and pushed a photo towards the redhead. 'That is a fiber we found in his watch.'

'So?'

'So you're the only one who was wearing pink at the party. I'm guessing if we take a sample from your dress it'll match this one.'

'Maybe the fiber got tangled in the watch when he was giving my client a hug. It doesn't tie her to the murder,' Lily said tiredly. 'Is that all you've got?'

'For now.'

'We both know my client didn't do it so stop wasting our time.'

'Yeah, yeah, you can go.'

Devon stood up and her lawyer told her to go home. On the other side of the glass Flack was still watching, a frown disappearing from his face. Lily put her arms on the table and placed her head on them.

'I can't _believe_ you made me come here for a stupid pink fiber,' she glared at Danny and he chuckled.

'Don't forget the lipstick print.'

'That's a tough one to argue, I've got to admit it,' she rolled her eyes.

'Tired much?'

Lily glared at him again, the expression on her face saying 'you think?'.

'What about grabbing some coffee? I heard about the stunt you pulled earlier,' Danny got up and she followed.

'Dressed like this?' she was still wearing the emerald satin dress with a deep v-neck.

Danny cocked his head to the side and gave her one of his 'why not?' looks.

'Give me half an hour to go to my place and change. I'll meet you at the coffee shop.'

Danny was the first one to get out of the interrogation room. When she did, Flack was waiting for her. Lily sighed and closed her eyes in frustration.

'How may I help you?' she asked reluctantly.

'I wanted to thank you. For helping with the crime scene earlier and for helping Dev,' he sounded sincere.

'Her father's my client and he called me to say he wanted me next to his daughter. There's nothing to thank me for.'

'The situation's a bit sensitive ...'

'I don't let my personal life mess with my work. You can see anyone you want and if they ask for my help, I'll do whatever I can,' she walked to the exit and he followed.

'I know. But I wanted to say thank you anyway,' he drew a breath, 'I'm sorry, Lily.'

'Don't apologize, there's no need,' she left the building and Flack watched her go.

Half an hour later Lily was sliding into a booth in front of Danny with the biggest latte she was ever going to drink.

'Wow! You need that much caffeine?' he asked, smiling.

'I've been awake for …' she glanced at her watch, 'twenty six hours. This is all the caffeine I'll need if you want to have a conversation with me.'

'So where you learn the trick with the potato?'

'I don't reveal my secrets, Danny, but there's a lot you don't know about me.'

'I just don't understand, why didn't you chase after him?' that's what he would have done anyway.

'You saw how I was dressed. Ever tried to run with stilettos and a dress up to your ankles? Not easy, let me tell you.'

'Okay, okay. I think the potato thing was cool anyway,' he smiled.

They kept talking for a while until Stella approached them with a big cup on her hand.

'Mind if I join you, guys?' she asked and sat next to Danny. 'I heard what you did with the potato, I'm impressed,' Lily bit her lip and Danny smirked.

'What's the big deal? I knocked the trash can and he fell, that's it.'

'The way you reacted, going to the doors and then to the kitchen, grabbing the guy who was getting away … have you ever thought about being a cop?' Stella asked shyly.

'I reacted on instinct. I guess there are things that stick to you,' both detectives were puzzled.

'To tell you the truth, I … I was a cop for four years.'

'You were? Never mentioned it before,' Danny was surprised. Stella wasn't. The other times she'd met Lily on cases, she'd shown a sort of understanding and knowledge of police work.

'It's not something I really tell people,' she looked down, ashamed.

'Why not?' asked Danny, not noticing it was a touchy subject.

'Long story, maybe some other time?'

The three of them kept talking until it was time for the detectives to go back to work. They left the coffee shop and Lily walked with them to the lab. Danny said goodbye and entered the building while the women stood next to the door, finishing their conversation.

'Look, Lily,' said Stella wringing her hands, 'I don't know what happened but what you did in the party showed you're still one of us. You should think about coming back.'

'It has crossed my mind but I don't know if I can do it …' she took a deep breath, 'Do you, do you want to hear the story?'

'Do you wanna tell me?' Lily nodded and the two women entered the Crime Lab. They went all the way to the 35th floor and walked until they reached Stella's office.

'I'm sorry, could we do it somewhere more private? Without glass walls?' the younger woman asked, shifting her weight from foot to foot.

Flack had gone to talk to Hawkes about the case they were working on and before he left the building he stopped by the washroom in the locker room. He was almost finished when he heard two women entering. He washed his hands and was about to leave when a piece of the conversation reached his ears and made him stop in his tracks and listen.

'Well, as I told you before, I was a cop for four years,' started Lily. She was sitting in a bench facing Stella. 'I got into the academy the first semester of my freshman year and I started as a patrol cop. That's what I did for the next three years and a half.'

Stella nodded and urged her to go on. 'And then one day I met a detective from Vice. He was hunting for new people, you know how nobody lasts much in that division. They wanted to start an investigation and they needed a young woman so I said I was up for it. that's where it all started.'

'What was the assignment?'

'I had to gather information on a pimp who was also in the narc business and on one of his known associates.'

'You got in as one of his girls,' Stella stated, more than asked and Lily nodded. Flack had left the washroom door slightly ajar to see what was going on and he gasped. Lily had never mentioned being in the force or going undercover.

'Everything went really smooth at first. I was getting information and I was good. Brought him a lot of money and such. But one day I got made,' she stopped, took a breath and gulped before speaking again. 'I got on a car with tinted windows, nothing unusual and when I looked at the driver I saw it was my pimp. His associate was in the backseat; they somehow got word I was investigating them. So I reached for my gun and the associate knocked me out. When I woke up I was in some sort of abandoned house with my hands tied behind my back.'

'And what happened?' asked Stella softly, already knowing the answer.

'The associate grabbed my legs while my pimp started raping me and I fought, I swear to you Stella, I fought but I couldn't stop it,' she choked, fat tears running down her cheeks and Stella squeezed her hand. 'They took turns, enjoying themselves while I tried to get them off, find a way to escape.'

Flack closed his eyes and put his forehead against the door. This shouldn't have happened to her. He wanted to scream, hit something, kill the guys who had hurt her so much but he didn't move. There was more to this story.

'And then they … stopped. I was glad for a split second but then the associate – he was the most vicious one – took out a knife and stabbed me,' she paused, trying to compose herself and failing.

Flack was racking his mind, trying to remember that scar on her body. She only had one, above her left hip but that had been a dog bite … or maybe not, he thought to himself. _She lied to you. She didn't tell you she'd been on the force and she lied about how and when she'd gotten the scar_. He felt betrayed and hurt. She didn't trust him enough to tell him and yet she was pouring her heart out to Stella who wasn't even her friend. He'd been her boyfriend, for Christ's sake!

'They left me there to die and I don't know where I got the strength from, I really don't, but I managed to untie my hands and walk out from the old house. A guy was walking home and he found me trying to slow the bleeding and completely disoriented and desperate. He called EMS and after a surgery the doctors patched me up.'

Stella squeezed Lily's hand again, understanding her suffering.

'I never told anyone about this, not even my friends. I was so ashamed! I mean, I was a cop, for God's sake! If I couldn't protect myself how was I supposed to protect others? All the guys at the precinct knew and they, they stopped looking at me in the eye. Sergeant wanted me to go back to patrol but I … couldn't be a cop anymore. I was going to Law School at the time and the brass was so ashamed too of the whole situation that they gave me a job in Legal Aid. At first I thought everything would be fine, I mean, they hadn't killed me. As the days went by, however, I realized they had done something worse. Because if they'd killed me, the suffering would have stopped but this … this hurt, it didn't go away,' tears continue to roll down her cheeks.

Flack closed his eyes for the umpteenth time since the conversation had started. It was breaking him to see Lily like this, to hear her saying those awful things. He still loved her, she'd been a very important part of his life and seeing her break down was unbearable. He would have done anything to go back to the past and stop her from being hurt. And he wondered how she had lived with this buried for many years. He wanted to go and hug her real tight, kiss her tears away but he couldn't. She didn't want to disclose this information to him so he was going to pretend he didn't hear the conversation at all. As hard as that would be …

'So I blocked it. Never told anyone about it and just went on with my life. I graduated, passed the bar in three states and as time went by, I forgot about it. It was easier this way. I was ashamed of myself and full of self-loathing for a long time. From the moment I got into the academy to the three years and a half I spent as a patrol cop I felt being a police officer was the only thing I could do. There wasn't anything else I'd rather do and then, when things got a bit tough I … gave up. I just gave everything up and ran away.'

'You'd been through something terrible,' Stella tried to comfort her.

'And so have you and Mac and Don but neither of you gave up. I admire you for that,' Lily wiped some tears from her eyes and Stella hugged her, asking if she'd told Don about this.

'No, he would have thought I was a coward. And he would have been right.'

Flack's heart broke for a split second. He would have never thought that. He would have been hurt too and angry at the men who had hurt her – never at Lily – and he would have tried to fix it although there was nothing he could do about it.

'If it really was the only thing you could do, you'll come back. The way you reacted today is the proof you can still do the job. I have the feeling deep down in your heart you want to; you want to get over this and the only way is coming back,' Stella smiled encouragingly.

'Thanks for listening to me Stella. I'm sorry I took so much of your time,' Lily sniffed and rubbed her bloodshot eyes, standing up from the bench.

'No problem, whatever you need, kiddo,' both women hugged and left the locker room, each going to a different destination.

Flack got out of the washroom and sat on the bench the women had been occupying minutes before with his head in his hands. The thought of Lily suffering so much had never crossed his mind; she was always so kind and forgiving instead of being full of hate. But she _had_ suffered a lot and he felt like a jerk knowing he'd added to that suffering. There was nothing else he wanted to do more than being close to her and comfort her but he couldn't. He'd blown that opportunity. His heart went out to her, he couldn't imagine what it felt like going through all that.

Flack was feeling guilty. He'd always assumed Lily had had a life of comfort and no major problems. He'd been dead wrong and if he could, he would kick himself for ever thinking something like that. She'd been through a lot and Flack wished he could fix it. He got up and out of the building and drove home.

Bits from the conversation he'd overheard were playing over and over again in his head. He was shocked and hurt. He'd never expect Lily to get involved in something like this and he was hurt because she never told him. She didn't trust him enough to share her secret and it was like a stab to the chest. Flack thought they'd been completely honest with each other, no secrets between them. He'd been wrong. He understood why Lily hadn't said anything but still felt a bit betrayed. She loved him – at least that was what she'd said – and you were supposed to trust the people you love.

Flack shook his head, trying to erase those thoughts from his mind. He also tried to forget the image of Lily crying her heart out, gripping Stella's hand but he couldn't. She looked so … vulnerable. She'd never been like that, not even in private. She was always the strong one, the one who rarely shed a tear and supported everyone else. Truth was, she'd been destroyed and he could see it. Yes, she had kept living but she hadn't actually moved on. Because moving on meant letting go and she was still scared. That's why Flack wanted so much to hold her and kiss her and protect her; so that she wouldn't be afraid anymore.

He suddenly found himself remembering her laugh, her smile, her naked body dimly lit by the sun in the morning, the feeling of her lips on his; all the moments she'd been happy with him. _Had she ever been happy with him or had it been a lie too?_ He really hoped it wasn't a lie. And he really hoped he could get a second chance.

He wanted to tell Lily she shouldn't be ashamed or scared but proud of being a fighter. That he'd always protect her and love her and most of all, he wanted to tell her he'd give anything in the world to go back and stop that from happening. Even if it changed their lives completely and meant they couldn't be together. For the first time Flack realized that he loved her. It wasn't just a word and it was more than a feeling. He'd sacrifice his happiness, his life with her so that she could avoid living a traumatic experience.

In a sudden impulse he turned to the right, drove a few more blocks and stopped in front of a building. _Her_ building, actually. He just stayed there, inside his car, his mind still racing. Flack wanted so much to knock on her door, tell her he was sorry and that he loved her a lot but he didn't have the guts to do it. That was when he saw her; Lily was walking towards her home. Her arms were round her body and she looked … broken. Her eyes were still red and her expression solemn. She got inside her building while Flack watched. He just sat there staring at the door, unable to move and cursing himself for his stupidity.

After a few minutes he convinced himself it was better that way. He wasn't supposed to know, Lily was talking to Stella, after all. Flack was going to pretend he hadn't eavesdropped on their conversation and was hoping she could find a way to feel better. By herself, by opening up to her friends, by going back to the job; it didn't matter as long as she got over it. He sighed and drove to his place, a thousand things going through his mind.

* * *

So we're on the fourth season, folks! You Only Die Once is a great episode for Flack and I just _had_ to write it in the story. Thanks to the few of you who are reading, please leave a review with comments, suggestions, encouragement, advice, criticism or whatever.

**Thanks to sparkyCSI**


	21. Dial H for trouble

Chapter 21 – Dial H for trouble

'C'mon! We haven't done this in a long time,' said Mary.

'You need to have some fun,' stated Emily.

'Come with us to the club, just like in the old times,' Meredith tried to convince Lily.

'Alright!' the lawyer caved in and went to change from jeans and a t-shirt to a little red dress and the knee-high boots she loved so much.

'You're looking hot, Lil. Let's not waste time,' Mary actually dragged her three friends out of Lily's apartment.

Once inside the club the girls ordered a drink and then separated. Meredith and Mary hit the dance floor while the other two grabbed a table and attempted to have a conversation. A couple of minutes later a guy approached the table and asked Emily to dance with him. She stood up and with a wink to her friend, followed him to the dance floor. _That's great! I'm always left alone._ A very frustrated Lily walked to the bar and asked for a drink. And then another one. And just to be sure she'd drowned her sorrows, she gulped down the forth shot of tequila that night. She was going back to the table when she bumped into a man.

'Sorry,' she apologized without looking at him.

'It's okay, Lily,' he smiled.

She was surprised. How did he know her name? That was when she raised her eyes and after seeing his face, smiled too.

'Sheldon! What are you doing here? Don't seem like the club goer type.'

He shrugged. 'Neither do you.'

Lily gave him a half smile.

'You want to dance?' he asked into her ear so that she could listen despite the loud music.

Lily didn't like dancing but her friends had abandoned her and she had drunk four shots of tequila; the alcohol made her say yes before she'd even processed the information. Hawkes grabbed her by the hand and led her to the dance floor.

Once they were there they started dancing a few inches away. But then someone pushed Lily towards Hawkes and she had to put her hands on his chest to stop herself from falling. The tequila taking complete control of herself, she wrapped her arms round his neck. His arms snaked around her waist and soon enough they were grinding their bodies to the beat of the music. Had they both been completely sober, it probably wouldn't have happened. But they weren't, so they found themselves pressing their bodies together and moving sensually with the music.

The DJ started playing a new remix and Hawkes trapped her lips with his twice. That made Lily bolder, causing her to dance even more provocatively than before. He followed, not wasting any chance of touching her, his hands roaming over her body. When the song ended Lily took his hand and steered him to the door. Once outside she pressed her body flush against him and whispered into his ear how much she wanted to go home with him. Hawkes hailed a cab and they spent the trip to his place in silence.

After a few tries he got the right key and opened the door of his apartment. When they were both inside and the door had been locked they started making out and walking towards the bed, their hands exploring the other at the speed of light. They managed to fall on the bed with him on top and they clumsily removed their clothes. The couple was too drunk and too wrapped in passion to do things right so they ended up wasting a lot of time trying to take off their clothes. It didn't stop them from having sex, though and they found themselves enjoying it a lot.

That morning a cell phone started ringing, waking Lily up. She picked up the offending item and took the call.

'Yes?' she whispered both because Sheldon was sleeping next to her and because her head hurt a bit.

'Lily? Is that you?' Flack sounded _very_ surprised.

'Who else would it be?'

'Why are you answering Hawkes' phone?'

'What? This is not his …' she looked at the display and realized Flack was right.

Hawkes had already woken up so she handed him the phone with a huge blush.

'Hawkes. Okay, that's great … thanks. Bye.'

'I'm so sorry! I thought it was mine. They look the same so I didn't …' she started apologizing but he cut her off.

'It's okay.'

'No, it's not. It's really embarrassing,' she was still blushing. _Of all people, Flack had to be the one calling, just my luck! _'Do you have to go to work?'

'No, he was just updating me on the case. How's your head?'

'It hurts a bit, I'm not used to drinking. You?'

'Took an aspirin an hour ago. Sorry the phone woke you.'

'No problem, I should go anyway,' Lily sat up and started gathering her clothes.

'You staying for breakfast, right?'

'Sheldon, I … I don't think it's a good idea. But thanks for the offer.'

'Breakfast's the most important meal of the day,' he reminded her and got out of bed.

'I'll grab something on the way,' she clasped her bra and smiled; he was sweet.

'No, after the alcohol and the work out we had last night you shouldn't leave with an empty stomach,' that was the doctor talking. He lifted his shirt from the floor and gave it to her. 'You'll put this on, have breakfast with me and then after you get dressed you can leave.'

As it was an order and not a suggestion, Lily put the shirt on and they went to the kitchen.

'You got me thinking,' she bit her lip to repress a smile, 'when you talked about the 'work out' we had last night, was there a hidden compliment in the sentence?'

He looked confused and motioned her to sit on a stool while he made breakfast.

'As in … you're good Lily?' she raised her eyebrows and smiled.

'Wasn't my intention. But if you're fishing for a compliment: you did fine considering the circumstances,' he placed a glass of juice in front of her.

'What circumstances?'

'You were drunk.'

'No, I was just tipsy,' he gave her a look. 'I knew what I was doing, Sheldon. I remember everything that happened.'

'Would it have happened if you hadn't been _tipsy_?'

'Of course not, I'm not that bold. Would you have done it without a few drinks on you?'

'Probably,' he put two plates with waffles on the table and sat down.

She tilted her head to the side and smiled, a light blush spreading over her cheeks.

'That, Sheldon, was a _very_ good answer,' he didn't say anything, just smiled.

They ate breakfast and talked about a lot things, the tone light and full of jokes and teasing.

'So, doctor, can I go home now?' asked Lily after they'd finished eating.

'Can I say no?' he asked flirtatiously.

'Depends, have you got good reasons?'

'How about …' he got closer to her, their bodies and inch apart and whispered in her ear, 'me wanting to make you scream as much as last night?'

'Mmm … sounds interesting, maybe some other time. I've really got to go home.'

'How can I persuade you?' their lips were dangerously close.

'I don't think you can.'

'You sure?' Hawkes kissed her in a way that left her panting.

Lily licked her lips and after looking at him straight in the eye, leaned in for another kiss.

'That means I've convinced you?' asked Hawkes once they had drawn apart.

'Rain check?' she asked apologetically and he nodded.

* * *

Flack was _extremely_ surprised, to say the least. If Lily had answered Hawkes' phone it meant they were together. As it was Saturday at nine a.m., he could assume they weren't playing Scrabble. Nope. They'd been together.

It was quite unsettling, he had to admit it. His ex with one of his co-workers? Completely awkward. It was going to be very, very weird when he saw either of them again. It was a bit stupid, Flack knew she'd had other sexual partners before him; he just didn't want to know the details. To put a face with her new _lover_ made his imagination run wild and that wasn't good. Not to mention his pride was hurt by the fact she'd moved on. Apparently he wasn't as memorable as he thought himself to be.

Truth be told, if he was to be objective, Lily had every right to move on. Flack had done the same with Devon. However, when pride gets in the picture, one hardly ever is objective and Flack found himself hurt and upset.

Of _all_ the men in Manhattan she _had_ to choose Hawkes. Why? To get back at him for breaking up? No, Lily wasn't revengeful. It had to be something else. '_Maybe she likes him _…' said that little voice in his head that always played devil's advocate. He always thought the doctor was a bit too friendly with her but he would have never imagined she'd end up falling for him. Flack knew Lily well and he was sure it wasn't just casual sex. That was probably the worst part. It made him very jealous to know that she was replacing him.

What did Hawkes have that he didn't? Okay, so the guy was very smart. Flack guessed Lily liked being around someone with whom she could have a cultivated conversation. He'd only finished high school and couldn't name a chemical compound if his life depended on it. But he was good at his job, loyal, thorough … '_Maybe it's because he treats her right_', that annoying voice again. He treated her right too! Okay, he'd been a jerk way too many times but he just needed another chance. Now that he knew a bit more about her past, things were going to be different. He sighed in frustration; Hawkes could give her everything he couldn't.

Flack had known from the beginning that she was out of his league. Somewhere along the way, though, he had tricked himself into believing he was good enough for her. Truth was: she deserved more than a seasoned cop who had a thing for weird ties and had seen too many dead bodies. Even if Hawkes was working at the Lab, he was a _doctor_. People admired and respected him just because of that word. Unlike him, he could probably mingle with rich people and Flack was certain he was one of those romantic guys. The ones who did flowers, candles, poems; the whole nine yards.

He thought Lily didn't need to be treated like a princess but he may have reached that conclusion due to his own inability to treat her that way. He just wasn't that type of guy. He could make a girl laugh or take her to bed in a second but he just couldn't make her feel special. Not that kind of special, anyway. The one where she felt she was the only thing in his world, that every beat of his heart whispered her name; it was something he'd never been able to do. He could chase a perp, crack somebody in interrogation but he could _not_ make a woman feel loved. In moments like these that knowledge made his heart heavy. He would do anything to be for a day the kind of guy who could seduce a woman with a sonnet instead of a pick-up line.

He wanted to woo Lily with fancy words and pretty flowers but that wasn't him. He guessed he _could_ buy her some flowers once … or twice. But poems and candles were out of the question. He was too manly for that. He would feel too uncomfortable and if she really loved him, she'd have to understand. It was only fair, if she wanted to be a princess, he wasn't her man.

* * *

As soon as Lily entered the door the phone started ringing. She picked up the receiver with a grunt.

'Yes?' she asked.

'Lil, you got a hangover from yesterday?' asked Mary.

'No, I'm just tired. I got home a minute ago.'

'Where were you? You were dancing with some hottie the last time any of us saw you.' Lily was silent. 'You went home with him, didn't you?'

'I did.'

'Aren't you always scolding us for leaving with a guy we don't know?'

'Ah, but see, I already knew Sheldon,' Lily informed her friend. 'That's probably the worst part,' she added as an afterthought.

'Spill, what's your story with him?'

'He works at the Crime Lab and was my client once.'

'Wait – so he works with your ex?' Mary laughed.

'Yes and guess what? Don called him today. Sheldon's cell phone looks just like mine so I answered it, can it get worse than that?'

'I think it was quite good. That way he'll see you can have any man you want,' Mary was amused. Lily _never_ got in that kind of trouble so it was fun to see that sometimes she made mistakes too.

'Somehow, I don't think so. I find it pretty embarrassing and Don's going to think I'm sleeping around.'

'Ha, ha. You don't sleep around and he knows it. Now, how was your night with Sheldon?'

'Good, good. He's very sweet.'

'Okay, so he's bad in bed.'

'Believe me, he's not. You'd call him a stallion.'

'Really? Then why did you say he was sweet? That's like an euphemism for 'he sucks'. Please explain.'

'He made me breakfast,' Lily smiled. 'And he wanted me to stay a few more hours.'

'Are you telling me he didn't kick you out after having sex? That's not fair, you always get the nice guys!' Mary complained.

'He's very nice. I agreed to spend another night with him.'

'You did? Are you sick or something?' Mary joked.

'Why? You think I shouldn't?'

'No, no. I think it's great. It just isn't your style, that's all.'

* * *

Two days passed and Flack found himself entering the Crime Lab to talk to Lindsay. He greeted the cops at the door and one of them asked him if he could take a package to Hawkes. He agreed, grabbed the book with a folded paper on top that he had to deliver and waited for the elevator. Flack looked at the paper and the handwriting on one side of it caught his eye; he knew it too well. He didn't mean to pry but found himself unfolding the paper and reading it.

_Here's the book I promised. It took a while to find it because it was gathering dust in a box but it finally gets to your hands. I hope you find it as useful as I did. By the way, thank you for Friday night – and morning – you're a sweet guy. I was wondering, how soon can I collect the rain check?_

_Have a nice day._

_Love,_

_Lily_

Flack was shocked, to say the least. First of all, why did Lily have an Organic Chemistry book? Secondly, the note confirmed his suspicions: she and Hawkes had slept together. Why else would she thank him for? _'You're a sweet guy…'_ he smiled in satisfaction; clearly Hawkes wasn't any good in bed. Lily had told Flack many times how passionate he was, that he was a stud, how fantastic he was in bed but she'd never used that adjective to describe his performance. Being 'sweet' between the sheets meant you didn't really know how to satisfy a woman. He smiled again with joy.

There was something that piqued his curiosity: '_how soon can I collect the rain check?_' what was she talking about? He figured it wouldn't be anything good – for him – seeing as in the best case they were going to meet again. In the worst scenario that rain check included sex. And that wasn't good. He then focused his attention on the last five words: '_Have a nice day. Love_'. He couldn't help but feel a bit jealous; that was what she always told him. _Him_, who'd been her boyfriend. Not some guy she'd slept with but her boyfriend. He felt a bit angry too. Flack had been really close to trying to fix things with Lily. He realized he _loved_ her and what did she do? Sleep with one of his co-workers. Not that she knew his feelings but anyway, she'd ruined any chance of finding out.

The elevator reached the 35th floor and he got out. He first went looking for Hawkes but he wasn't around so Flack left the package in his office and left in search of Lindsay.

* * *

Sorry it took me so long to update, my internet went crazy and I couldn't log in. I apologize again. So Hawkes gets mixed into the picture! If somebody's still reading this, please leave a review with comments, suggestions, ideas, criticism or anything else you want to say. Reviews really make my day and I appreciate them immensely. C'mon; make me happy!

**Thanks to sparkyCSI for all her work.**


	22. What's your problem?

Chapter 22 – What's your problem?

A couple of days later Flack met Hawkes at the currently empty break room.

'The killer confessed,' said the detective while leaning against a counter.

'Mac told me it was fast.'

'Yeah,' Flack nodded and waited a few seconds until he spoke again. 'So … how's Lily?'

'Why don't you ask her?'

'I just thought you two …'

'We're hooking up, in case you were wondering,' Hawkes spoke curtly.

'Really?' he raised his eyebrows. 'Weird. 'Cause, you know, she's more of a relationship woman.'

'Yeah, well, maybe I'm giving her something else.'

Hawkes was challenging him and Flack wasn't going to back down.

'What? Something I couldn't? Don't flatter yourself,' the taller man finished with a teasing smile.

'As if you'd know what she needs,' the doctor shook his head in disbelief.

'I could always keep her happy, don't know about you.'

'I've got everything under control.'

'That you got Lily into your bed doesn't mean you know her. But I give you points for that. Either you're good or you weren't a bad option.'

'What are you trying to say, Flack?'

'Sounds like rebound to me …'

'Uh-huh. Whatever makes you sleep at night,' his tone was harsh and it contrasted a lot with his usual soft and calm demeanor.

'Don't feel bad, someone like her choosing you as a rebound is nothing to be ashamed of,' Flack spoke confidently, almost gloating. He'd been her first option. Emphasis on _first_.

'Rebound or no rebound, we're having fun,' Hawkes raised his eyebrows.

'I'm sure you are. Quite the screamer, ain't she?' the detective smirked. _Or at least that was with me._

Hawkes nodded, taking the bait.

'She loves playing games, that much I can tell you,' said Hawkes coolly while Flack tried not to look surprised. They had never played any games, it had all been quite traditional and straightforward with them. The detective's cell phone rang, giving him the perfect excuse to get away without saying a word.

Later that day, Lily Stewart knocked on Sheldon's door. She came in and they sat on the couch.

'So … how was work?' she asked.

'Nothing new. I had an interesting conversation with Flack, though.'

'Really? What about?' she asked reluctantly, knowing that she probably wasn't going to like the answer.

'You,' he gave her a sharp look and she rubbed her eyes, anticipating the content. 'He said I was a rebound for you.'

'Sheldon, you _do_ know that we aren't actually together, right? I mean, we have sex, share a few conversations but that's it.'

'It works for me. I just don't think he gets it.'

'I'm sure he doesn't. Didn't you invite him over for a threesome? It would be interesting, no doubt about it …' sarcasm was present in her voice and betrayed the fact that she hated Flack's involvement in their 'relationship'.

'Great idea, I should have come up with it sooner. Maybe we can call him,' he smiled and made a weak attempt to grab the phone.

Lily didn't say a word but closed the distance between them with a kiss while one of her hands unbuckled his belt.

A couple of days later Lily was working late when a secretary interrupted her from the speakerphone.

'There's a gentleman here who wants to see you, Ms. Stewart.'

'Send him in, Clarissa and then you can go home,' she put all the papers that were scattered around her desk in their appropriate folders and looked up when the door shut behind the visitor.

'Nice office you've got,' said Flack as he sat opposite her.

'What are you doing here?'

'Just wanted to talk to you, see how life's been treating you …' he sounded casual.

'I'm alright, thanks for your concern,' she gave him a smile that clearly said 'you can go away now'.

'Good, that's good,' he cleared his throat, 'so … any new men in your life?'

'That's something that keeps growing at the speed of light. I'm surrounded by too many Y chromosomes,' she smiled in spite of herself.

'You sleeping with any of them?'

'Sheldon warned me this was going to happen,' she said quietly but not enough so that he didn't hear it.

'That a yes?'

'That's none of your business,' her tone was icy.

'If one of my co-workers is screwing you, I could at least get a heads up.'

'What Sheldon and I do in our spare time doesn't concern you.'

'It does when I have to work with the guy who's sleeping with my ex.'

'You dumped me, remember?' she raised her voice. 'I'm a free woman, I can do anything I want now.'

'You're sleeping around and you want me to approve?' his tone showed disbelief.

'I don't care if you approve or don't. You're one of those guys that think 'if I can't have her, nobody can' and it's really pathetic. Get over yourself.'

'That's not true!'

'You slept with Devon and it was okay but I can't be with Sheldon. You're just jealous because somebody else is screwing me and I like it,' she was mad, her accent was noticeable and she had used the word 'screw'. It was the first time Flack heard her say it.

'You never complained about me,' he had to defend his pride.

'That doesn't mean he isn't better,' she was trying to hurt his ego.

'Hawkes is better than me?' he was nearly screaming.

'Yeah, he is.'

'You said you liked it with me.'

'I did, Don, but in the end we were always struggling to be in control,' her tone was softer now. 'We struggled to be on top, Sheldon lets me take the reins; he's not afraid of me taking charge of the situation.'

'Oh, c'mon! I wasn't afraid, I was trying to make things easier for you.'

'Ha ha,' she laughed sardonically. 'I'm a control freak on every aspect of my life. That includes the bed. You did it because you _thought_ that was what I wanted, you never stopped to think that maybe I needed it.'

'Sorry for trying to take some weight off you. I thought you'd be sick of being in control all the time.'

'No, you just didn't want to lose your grip.'

'I'm not obsessed with control like you are,' he denied.

'O-kay. Anything else you want to throw on my face?'

'I heard you like playing games now. Is it because he isn't afraid too?'

'No,' she swallowed. 'I don't know if you can handle the truth but here it goes anyway: I love you. With you it was always about the emotional connection. I don't have that with Sheldon, it's just physical so I need 'games' to keep things interesting. You happy now?'

Flack was shocked and completely taken aback. That wasn't the answer he'd been expecting. His eyes were wide with surprise.

'You don't have to say it,' Lily broke the silence, 'I already know you're a jerk.'

'I … is it true?'

'Yeah,' she said reluctantly, regretting telling him.

'So it was actually better with me?'

'You're unbelievable!' she had just told Flack she loved him and he was worried about who was better in bed.

'Answer the question,' he pressed.

'You should go before I get arrested for assaulting an officer.'

Instead of leaving, Flack leaned and kissed her lips. At first she was paralyzed but then managed to push him away. When he was at a safer distance she lifted her right hand and slapped him so hard it echoed in the empty building. He stopped himself from taking a hand to his cheek but Lily knew it had hurt like a bitch.

With his cheek throbbing and his pride bruised Flack left the office in silence. Ten minutes later Lily followed, glad that this whole incident had happened when nobody was there.

It had felt so nice to tell him all those things! It was as if a weight had gotten off her chest. She was liberated. Some of her words had landed hard on him and she knew that slap had hurt more than his cheek or his ego but she didn't care. Flack couldn't come and play with her that way. If he was confused it was his problem, he didn't have to confuse her as well.

He was being completely selfish; it had been his idea to break up in the first place. Not to mention he'd been with Devon. So he could sleep with anyone but she couldn't. It wasn't strange, but it wasn't fair either. A man who had many girls was an idol, someone to look up to; a woman who had many men was considered a prostitute by society. Where's the justice? She was getting sidetracked.

Arrghh! Lily hated Flack right now. He had that way of getting under her skin and it was impossible to shake him out of her thoughts. She'd be cursing him and his actions for a least a day. Paradoxically, the last thing she wanted was to think about him. Where was the justice?

She would go back to Hawkes the following night but it wouldn't be the same. Flack had made something stir inside of her. It was something Lily thought she'd buried: the feeling that life with Don was … almost magical. If he was next to her, everything would be alright.

Lily cursed him. What right did he have to mess her up that way? She didn't know what she felt anymore and it was frustrating and scaring. She didn't want to live without Flack and him coming all full of jealousy and kissing her only made things worse. It made Lily remember how she felt when they were together. And that it wouldn't happen again. Yes, he'd kissed her but that was Don; always acting on impulse. Not to mention he probably was trying to keep his pride afloat, knowing that she still melted when they touched.

That man destroyed all her defenses, the ones she put up to keep him at a distance and there was nothing more frustrating than that. She wanted so bad to be away from him and yet she yearned for his touch, the smoothness of his skin, the softness of his lips on hers. Lily wanted what she couldn't have. And it hurt so much it was tearing a hole in her heart. Seeing him again only deepened the wound.

Memories of them together invaded her brain. Their first kiss and how forbidden it had felt, the first time they had made love instead of just having sex, the way their fingers entwined so often, that weekend alone in the woods ... it had all been wonderful. But there had also been a fight and it had destroyed their relationship. Lily's feet had to get back to the ground; it'd been beautiful yes, and it had ended.

* * *

Once outside the building Flack lifted his hand to his _still_ aching cheek. If he was honest, the physical pain wasn't half as bad as the emotional one. Because his cheek would stop throbbing eventually but her rejection had cut him deep.

Flack hadn't been rejected that many times. His looks and his charm usually saved him from that awful blow to the ego. But this time it hadn't. Lily had always been different to the rest of the women and he'd always found it a good thing until that night. He _knew_ she'd melted with his kiss and yet she'd pulled away and slapped him. It felt as if a dozen bullets had gone through his heart.

He tried to focus on the good things. Like when Lily confessed she loved him or that brief moment when she had kissed him back, before pulling away. They hadn't shared a kiss in what felt like a lifetime so those seconds had sent sparks down their bodies. Their connection had been re-established and now Flack couldn't get her out of his head. He had the overwhelming need to kiss her again and it was very frustrating to know she was pushing him away. The fact that she was going back to Hawkes made it even worse. He had never been more jealous in his life. What Flack didn't know was that the plot was going to thicken.

* * *

'Don!' she screamed before collapsing into the bed next to Hawkes.

The couple was silent while their breathing became normal again.

'You screamed Don,' said Hawkes noncommittally.

'I said Sheldon.'

'No, you said Don.'

'You didn't hear the first part.'

'There wasn't a first part, you said his name.'

Lily swallowed and kept her gaze on the ceiling.

'I just want you to admit it.'

'What do you want me to say? That in my mind _he_ was screwing me, not you?' she was agitated and it was noticeable in her tone and her use of the word 'screwing'.

'Yeah,' was his simple answer.

Lily covered her face with her hands and muttered a soft 'I'm sorry'.

'You can't keep doing this. Either you go back to him or you stay.'

'It was a one time thing, Sheldon …'

'It wasn't and we both know it. I won't get mad but you have to choose.' Hawkes was a bit hurt. Your lover screaming somebody else's name wasn't exactly nice.

She took a deep breath and sat on the bed, a sheet covering her naked chest.

'You were really nice to me and you don't deserve this. I'm sorry.'

Hawkes smiled sadly; he was hoping she'd stay. But of course, no one ever chose him.

'I'm sorry Sheldon,' Lily kissed his lips tenderly for the last time before she got dressed and left the apartment.

She felt like the worst person in the planet. Hawkes had been kind and sweet and she had repaid him by screaming Flack's name. He didn't deserve it. But she couldn't be with him if she was imagining it was someone else. She mentally beat herself up for doing that. It had never happened before, she'd never thought of somebody else while having sex with a guy. She guessed it was true, there was a first time for everything.

Her life was beginning to resemble a soap opera and Lily hated every minute of it. She wanted things to be simple, uncomplicated. She found a little voice in her head quoting Thoreau: 'simplify, simplify!' She needed to straighten things out as soon as possible and to decide what she was going to do with her love life. Something told her it wasn't going to be easy.

* * *

_So here we go, another chapter's up. Leave reviews with comments, suggestions, ideas, opinions, etc._

A special thanks to **BlueEyedAuthor** for being an _amazing _reviewer and of course, to **sparkyCSI** (my wonderful beta).


	23. Conflict resolution

Chapter 23 – Conflict resolution

Two days later when Lily got to her office in the morning, an unusual sight awaited. On top of her desk was a bouquet of white lilies. She freaked out; flowers weren't good in her current relationship status. Instead of coming up with all the reasons for those flowers to be there, she, being her cool, practical self, decided to read the card.

_I'm sorry. I'm going crazy without you. Miss you a lot._

_Yours,_

_Don_

She sank into her chair, not knowing how to feel. She was surprised, to say the least. Flack wasn't one to apologize or express his feelings openly and he'd done both in fifteen words. Lily couldn't help but consider the possibility that he really loved her. So she did what any other curious, investigative woman would do: call him. After two rings his husky voice could be heard.

'Hey, Don, it's Lily,' she stammered.

'Hi.'

'Umm, I wanted to – thank you for the flowers,' she blushed. Why was she acting like a teenager?

'You're welcome,' after saying those words he wanted to smack himself. He should have said something along the lines of: 'come back with me', 'give me another chance', 'glad the flowers worked'; anything, something.

'So I was thinking maybe – maybe we could catch up?'

'Sure, I'd like that,' he inwardly patted himself in the back. 'My shift ends early. How about meeting after you get out of work?'

She agreed and they designated a place. Nine hours later, Lily got into the coffee shop where Flack was already waiting.

'I think it may be raining,' she said completely drenched.

'You think?' he smiled, it was a flood out there. 'Why don't we go to your place? I don't want you blaming me for getting sick.'

They ordered and left.

'I'm parked round the corner.'

'You brought the ark? How thoughtful of you,' she hated rain and it made her more sarcastic.

Once in her apartment she took a shower and changed, trying to keep warm and avoid getting sick. Lily sat next to Flack on the couch and took a sip of her now lukewarm coffee.

'How's life been?' he asked after clearing his throat.

'Same ol', same ol'. You?'

'Lots of crazy hours and cases; the usual.'

They were silent for a while.

'So, umm … I really missed you, y'know?' his voice was soft and his eyes were focused on his hands.

'I missed you too,' she ran a hand down his cheek.

'I wanna fix it.'

'You're going to need some duct tape to do that, honey,' she smiled and squeezed his arm.

'No flowers, no dinner, just duct tape? 'Cause I think I got some in the car,' he joked.

'No flowers, no dinner. But maybe a good kiss would make things easier.'

Flack leaned in and trapped her lips with his. It was deep and long and exactly what they needed to be sure they were doing the right thing.

'Something like that?' he asked after they had parted.

'No, that was a lame kiss,' she smiled mischievously, challenging him.

'Oh, yeah? How about this one?' he put her in his lap and kissed her passionately until their need for oxygen became stronger than needing to be together.

'That was definitely better,' she said panting and getting off his lap. 'I can't believe you dumped me for that rich girl.'

'I broke up with you and then met Devon. And you're rich too.'

'Not true. After looking at her dad's bank account, mine's like spare change.'

'You were with Hawkes,' he said. 'I work with him. It wasn't easy seeing him and knowing you shared a bed.'

'Talking about that, I missed you,' her hand went from his chest to his belt buckle.

'So you only want me for the hot, mind-blowing sex?' he asked, his eyes darkening. She bit her lip. 'I'm not offended by it, in fact, I'll oblige.'

Flack carried Lily in his arms to the bedroom, kissing her neck along the way. She had definitely missed him. That guy got her moaning and hot in 0.3 seconds. His hands were magical on her skin.

He'd missed her too. They had a special connection that went beyond the physical thing. Not that the sex wasn't amazing. That woman could arouse him with a bat of her eyelashes.

They rediscovered themselves after a long hiatus. After finishing they lay in bed with a sheet covering their naked bodies. Lily's head was on his chest, one of her arms round his waist while Flack played with her hair.

'Why didn't you tell me you'd been a cop?' he asked softly, voicing the question that had been gnawing at him.

'What are you talking about?'

'Don't play dumb, I know you were on the force.'

'Danny's got a big mouth, I see.'

'He didn't say anything. I can't believe you told him and not me,' he sounded hurt.

'If you knew why I kept quiet …'

'I overheard your conversation with Stella,' Flack interrupted.

'You did?! I can't believe it! It was a private conversation, you had no right to do that,' she was angry and ashamed and feeling a bit guilty.

'I don't wanna fight with you, I just wanna know why you trusted her and not me,' his tone was icy.

'I trust you Don, with my life. But you're proud to be a cop and if I told you I'd given up after a mishap your opinion of me would have changed. I was afraid you'd hate me. And Stella, well, she went through some tough stuff; I felt that a connection with her. Not to mention you're a man and there are some things you wouldn't understand,' Lily was a bit relieved now that there weren't any more secrets between them.

'I wouldn't call getting raped, stabbed and left to die a mishap and it'd never color my opinion of you. I think you're really strong for going on with your life. I get your connection with Stella, but I'm a cop and I deal with victims all the time; I would have tried to understand.'

'That's exactly the point: I'm _not_ a victim! I took an assignment knowing that a lot of things could go wrong. It was a choice I made and those were the consequences.'

'That still doesn't mean it was your fault,' his tone was soft as he ran a hand down her cheek.

'It's the past, you already know about it; let's move on.'

'Have ya, moved on? 'Cause it was a long time ago and you never told anyone. No one knows but Stell and me and the way you cried tells me you haven't really gotten over it.'

'It wasn't easy, alright? A part of me will never move on but the other part has already put it behind me.'

Flack kissed the top of her head and slid his fingers up and down the scar on her left hip a couple of times. He would have done anything to remove it.

'I want you to talk about it,' he said.

'What for?'

'You need to let it go, Lil.'

'You already heard the story and it's one of those things you'd rather not tell more times than what's necessary,' she fidgeted a bit.

'Indulge me,' Flack whispered.

'What happened in Boston made me feel powerless and stupid. Working as a cop I'd dealt with some rape victims and you know, you empathize with them but you think: 'that's not going to happen to me. I'm so much stronger than that, I'm safer.' You're not. You're as helpless as them.'

'You were at a disadvantage, there were two of them and they were stronger than you.'

'But I had the training. Most women aren't trained in self-defense or hand-to-hand; I was and I still couldn't stop it.'

'There was nothing you could have done …'

'Maybe not. It hurt a lot, you know? Not only the lack of control or power but the physical pain. I _knew_ that the calmer I was, the less it was going to hurt and yet I couldn't do it. I just _had_ to struggle and fight,' Lily had snuggled closer to him, needing his warmth.

'That's 'cause you're a fighter, you've always been one,' he was proud of her.

'I don't think it actually helped but I wouldn't have had it any other way.'

'How did you do to go on with life?'

'Don't know, it was something progressive. For the first six months the idea of a man kissing or touching me was disgusting and made me panic. Then it was baby steps until I felt at ease again. You know what I like most about having sex with you?'

'My hot body and my amazing skills?' he joked.

'That too. But it's that despite being tall and big and strong, you're gentle and sweet. You don't want to hurt me and try your best to please me. It's like there's also a good thing about sex. You've showed me that.'

'I'd never hurt you – or any woman,' Flack kissed the top of her head. 'And I'm glad you're not uncomfortable with me.'

'How could I? Remember the first time we slept together, what you asked me?' he blushed.

_Their clothes were strewn across the living room floor and they were on the bed, naked and getting to know each other. Their hands were trying to grasp and squeeze as much as they could, their mouths wanting to explore every inch of skin._

_Flack rubbed against her, teasing her while Lily moaned. He slipped inside her and she gasped. He quickly got out of her with a worried look._

'_Did I hurt you?' he asked, afraid of the possibility._

'_What? No,' Lily kissed him, trying to continue._

'_Promise you'll tell me if I do,' Flack was serious, his blue eyes staring right through her brown ones._

_Lily turned him over and got on top, taking charge of the situation._

'You're so sweet,' she kissed him.

'Don't make fun of me,' he pouted.

'I wasn't! And don't be such a boy.'

'Why? What you gonna do?'

'You know how this works, Donny; naughty boys don't get anything,' her index finger traced patterns on his chest.

'Thought you liked naughty,' his voice was low and husky as he got on top of her.

'Is that a proposal, detective Flack?' she licked her upper lip.

'Maybe,' he kissed her chest and made his way down.

* * *

'You look happy!' said Emily after her friend entered the restaurant.

'I am,' Lily grinned.

'Spill the beans already!'

'I got back with Don.'

'Wow, congratulations! How did it happen?'

'He sort of apologized and we fixed it and ended up sleeping together.'

'I'm just curious honey, but how can you 'sort of apologize'? Either you do or you don't,' Emily was interested.

'He sent some flowers with a note.'

'And what did you do?'

'I called him and we met and then we went to my apartment and … did I mention we slept together?'

'Yeah, I think you did,' Emily smiled.

'Good. Because I can't believe it,' she sighed.

'Why not?'

'Because we're back together and I thought it wouldn't happen. I think it's for good now; I told him things he didn't know and we were honest with each other.'

'That's good. I'm happy for you, Lil,' Emily smiled earnestly.

'Thanks Em,' she grinned widely.

'You really are ecstatic! That's great. Good thing he came to his senses and took the first step.'

'I think it would have been a matter of time, but yes. I was going crazy without him,' Lily confessed.

'You're a sickly sweet couple again, aren't you?' Emily scrunched up her nose in mock disgust.

'I resent that! We were never sickly sweet.'

'Maybe not the usual so-corny-I-want-to-shoot-somebody-after-watching-you-guys but you had some heavy P..'

'What are you talking about?! We rarely kissed in public.'

'But you were always holding hands or with your arms around each other; that's lovey-dovey,' stated the psychologist confidently.

'I _do_ have the need to touch him every time we're in the same room …'

'And he feels the same way.'

'You think?'

'I _know_. The body language is obvious; he's always near you and touching you, even if it's just your arms brushing. He wants to kill every guy that's in a half a mile radius and he looks at you as if you were the most beautiful and sacred thing on this planet.'

'He doesn't!' Lily blushed.

'He worships you, sweetheart.'

'No, you're just saying it to make me uncomfortable.'

'He's completely whipped. I'm sure if you told him to jump off a cliff, he'd do it.'

'Don's not like that. He's got his own opinions and sometimes we don't agree on things. But he sees past it, just like I do and it enables us to be happy and in love.'

'So you love him?' Emily pierced her friend with her gaze.

'I do. With every microscopic cell in my body. He's the one, Emily; the love of my life,' Lily looked a bit scared although she was sure of what she was saying. Don Flack was what some people would call – but not her because she hated the term – her soul mate. There was nothing more wonderful or scary than knowing you'd found the right person for you. That one person who completed you. The person with whom everything made sense.

* * *

So they finally got together again (even if only for a while). You know the drill: comments, suggestions, questions, etc. in a review.


	24. Bruised but not broken

Chapter 24 – Bruised but not broken

Flack came home one night feeling completely drained and seeing his girlfriend waiting for him on the couch made it worse.

'Lil, what you doing here?' he asked, exhaustion etched in his face. _Why had he given her his key, again? 'Cause he loved her, right._

'I just wanted to see you. What happened to you, sweetheart?' she was concerned after seeing him limp slowly to the bedroom.

'Rough day. I chased a perp and fell over the stairs,' he started taking off his clothes.

Lily gasped after seeing the huge bruise on his back.

'Lie down on your face,' she ordered.

Flack did as he was told, not having the strength to protest. Lily came back three minutes later with a bottle in her hand and sat on the edge of the bed. She started applying some sort of oily substance on his back.

'What the hell is that?' he asked gruffly.

'An oil, it'll relax your muscles and reduce the pain.'

Her hands were massaging his back, spreading the oil on his skin. It felt great. Not only was the pain going away, her touch was magical. He groaned when her hands left his skin.

'You feeling better now?' she asked, lying down next to him.

'Please don't stop,' his eyes were still closed.

'Okay honey, I won't,' she kissed the top of his head and resumed the action.

Half an hour later they were both sound asleep.

A few sun rays entered the room through the cracks on the blinds, waking Lily up. She stirred and looked at her watch: it was six o'clock, they still had some time to get up. She fixed her gaze on the man sleeping next to her. He looked so peaceful and relaxed unlike when he was awake and his muscles were always tense. Lily ran a hand down his naked back and he muttered something unintelligible. She lay like that, watching him for half an hour and then got up.

At seven, after Flack's alarm had rung and he was begging for five more minutes Lily entered the bedroom with breakfast.

'Hey,' said Flack sleepily.

'Morning, love. How you feeling?' she placed the tray on the bed and sat next to him.

'Better, thanks for last night. And why are we having breakfast in bed?' he asked sipping some coffee.

'Figured you deserved some pampering. But I can take it back to the kitchen if you want,' she spread peanut butter on a toast.

'Nah, it's okay.'

They finished breakfast in silence.

'I like your hair all wet,' said Flack and tugged at one of her locks.

'I don't, but since you don't have a hairdryer …' she tried to grab the tray but he swatted her hand away and put it on the floor.

'What, you want to trip over it and break everything, not to mention hurt yourself?' she asked.

'No, you see, for me breakfast in bed involves more than toast and coffee,' he ran a finger down the side of her thigh.

'Of course it does,' she smiled and shook her head.

'Now, if it was another day, I'd let it go but after what you did last night and the fact that your hair's wet …' he grinned mischievously and got closer to her.

'What does my hair have to do with anything?'

'It turns me on,' he whispered in her ear before kissing her.

Flack got on top of Lily and started kissing her passionately, his hands roaming over her body. How could she resist him? She responded as eagerly.

He almost tore her tube top while taking it off. After sending her bra flying to the floor he focused on her chest, making her moan. Lily pulled down his boxers as he tried to open her jeans, not ripping one of the buttons out of pure chance.

'Easy there, babe,' she helped him get rid of her pants and her underwear followed suit.

Ten minutes later they were getting dressed between kisses, caresses and a little help from the other.

'You forgot your zipper,' Lily fastened it, her hand lingering a bit on his crotch.

'Don't do that or we'll be very late for work,' he sort of warned, sort of pleaded.

'It's Saturday; people with normal jobs don't have to work,' she grinned mischievously and played with his belt buckle.

'But I do. Tell you what, after my shift ends I'll swing by your place. That okay with you?' he kissed her.

She nodded and initiated a kiss. They walked from the bedroom to the front door with their lips together.

'Want me to take you home?' he asked, opening the door.

'I'll ride with you to the Precinct. I'm meeting Mary a couple of blocks from there.'

'Okay. What are you gonna do today?'

'Some shopping.'

'Anything special?'

'Well, Mary wants me to 'update' my lingerie drawer,' Lily blushed.

Flack gulped. 'I'm not complaining.'

'I think it's more an excuse to update _her_ drawer,' she mused.

'Tell her to make you buy something nice.'

'Because I can't choose something nice on my own?'

'Of course you can. She'll make you buy something racy, that's what I meant.'

'I know what you meant. I just never thought it was important to you …'

'It's not. But I won't complain. Most women do it by themselves, don't ask our opinion; just surprise us,' he commented.

'Clearly I'm not most women,' she sounded upset.

'I know,' he chuckled.

'What's funny about it?'

'I was thinking; you make most complicated things easy and the easy stuff complicated,' he chuckled again. 'But I like it that way.'

'So it wasn't all a Lily-bashing? Good to know.'

'C'mon babe, you know I love you,' he parked and kissed her long and sweet.

'You've convinced me. For now …' she kissed him again and got out of the car.

'See ya tonight, Lil,' he said and she waved before walking down the street.

Lily was now a woman on a mission. She was going to prove Flack that she didn't need Mary's help. He was in for a huge surprise.

Later that afternoon Flack knocked on her door. As Lily didn't answer, he let himself in. Everything was dark except for a small lamp on top of a table. He approached it silently and found his girlfriend lying on the carpet with her eyes closed. He lowered down and kissed her.

'Hey, wasn't expecting you so early,' she opened her eyes. 'I was so deep in thought I didn't hear you come in.'

'That's why I've got a key. How was your shopping trip with Mary?' he lay on his side with his head on his hand.

'That's for me to know and you to find out,' she raised her eyebrows.

'You wearing something you bought today?' his free hand went to her cleavage and pulled the fabric down a bit to try see her bra. Lily took his hand and placed it on her hip.

'You'll have to work to see it,' she licked her lips.

He kissed her and as things started to get heavy their clothes started to fly around the room. Flack groaned at seeing her underwear. He had to say red lace looked pretty good on her pale skin and it was a welcome change to all that cotton. Although he'd liked it, the red garments were soon on the floor, completely forgotten.

'Red looks good on you,' said Flack lying next to his girlfriend.

'Thanks,' she blushed. 'Was my choice good enough?'

'You have excellent taste,' he pushed her closer to him.

'This carpet's really comfortable,' she said as she took the blanket from the couch and used it to cover their naked bodies.

'Yeah,' he kissed the top of her head.

'We should have sex here more often,' she said and he laughed.

'We could do that …' Flack pressed Lily closer to his chest.

'What's up? Is something wrong?' she sounded concerned.

'No, why?'

'Your grip is different, that's all.'

'What you mean?'

'It's tighter, I'm so pressed against you I'll probably leave a mark. You know I'm not going anywhere, right?' her voice was soft but she was clearly concerned.

'Am I hurting you?'

'No.'

'Then can I keep my tight grip on ya?' he asked honestly.

'Sure. You heard me before? I'm always going to be here, Don.'

'But I don't know if I will.'

'Don't scare me, honey. Tell me what's wrong.'

'Nothing unusual; I'm a cop. Death's part of the job. I just want you to remember this night.'

'I promise that when we're ninety and sitting on a porch somewhere I'll remind you how good you were in bed – or on the carpet – and how much I love these moments,' Lily kissed him.

'Okay, but can you do it when we're seventy four too?' he laughed.

'Deal,' she smiled. 'But not before.'

A couple of days later Flack knocked on her door.

'How was Chicago? You solved the case?' Asked Lily as she opened the door.

'Yeah, aren't I gonna get a kiss?' he leaned and trapped her lips with his. 'What's wrong?'

'What are you talking about?'

'Every time we kiss you put your hands on me. Today your right one was at your side, didn't even move it.'

'Damn detectives,' she muttered under her breath as he took her right hand and lifted her sleeve.

'What happened to you and when did you get the cast?' his tone was serious as they sat on the couch.

'The other day I was crossing the street and this guy kind of hit me with his car.'

'Then I'd expect a cast on your leg, why the wrist?'

'He hit the brakes when he saw me but still hit me – I've got a bruise on my leg to prove it – and I fell forward and landed awkwardly on my wrist.'

'Why didn't you call me?' he was upset.

'You were busy, on a huge case in Chicago; it wasn't important,' she shrugged.

'It wasn't important?! You were hurt, babe. You should've told me.'

'It was nothing big, just a couple of bruises and a broken wrist.'

'I don't care, next time 'nothing big' happens I wanna know.'

She nodded.

'C'mere. I'm glad you're okay,' he hugged her and kissed her forehead.

'Thanks. Now, how about making dinner?'

'Why don't we order something? That way you'll don't have to cook.'

'It's okay, really.'

'Pizza sounds good to you?' he asked, having already dialed most of the number.

'Whatever.'

When the delivery guy came Flack paid him and Lily got out the plates and all the stuff they were going to need.

'Hey, I could have done it,' he rushed to where she was, taking the plates from her left hand.

'I'm not an invalid, alright? I spent a couple of days without your help and I did okay.'

'But it's your left hand and your dominant hand's the right one,' he explained.

'Ha. Sweetie, I might as well be ambidextrous now. I can even write with my left hand,' Lily raised her eyebrows.

'How?' he was surprised.

'Training. A couple of days at home can get really boring so I practised. I admit it, my handwriting's a bit messy but still legible and that's all that matters.'

'Bet you spent hours and hours trying to get things right,' he grabbed a slice and took a bite.

'Honey, would you mind cutting the slice for me?' she batted her eyelashes.

'What happened to miss self-sufficient?' he said with a chuckle as he took the fork and knife and obliged.

'Thanks.'

'So I was thinking, what do you do when you have a shower?' he asked after cutting the pizza in equally sized pieces.

'It's a bit hard but I manage …'

'How about getting some help?'

'I think I'll be okay.'

'I'll reach every spot. And don't worry, I'll be _very_ thorough,' he licked his lips.

'Donny, what happened to your sweet side? And how come you're so _naughty_ lately?'

'Hey, I just said I'd help you take a shower. The dirty thoughts were on _your_ mind, not mine,' he grinned.

'I was going to say yes, but now that you've accused me of being a pervert …'

'You're right: I'm a bigger pervert than you and want to take advantage of you while on the shower. Sue me for loving you and your body.'

'Well, if you put it like that … You're going to be naked too, right? It's only fair.'

'Yeah. Even though you weren't naked when you gave me a bath.'

'We weren't together at that time!'

'And now?'

'Now your body's completely mine. Every single inch,' they melted into a kiss.

* * *

Kinda like a filler chapter for those in desperate need of fluff (God knows _I_ am). Leave your comments, suggestions, opinions, advise.

Special thanks to:

**sparkyCSI**

**BlueEyedAuthor**


	25. Between badges and guns

Note: BIS - Bureau of Investigative Services (Consists of the Homicide Unit, Drug Control Unit, Family Justice Center and Forensic Science Division)

JST - Job Standard Test (Physical test one takes to get into the NYPD academy).

* * *

Chapter 25 – Between badges and guns

A few days later Flack picked up the phone and called his girlfriend.

'Yes?' she asked on the other side of the phone.

'It's me,' his voice was tired.

'Talk to me, Donny. What's bothering you?'

'Remember what happened to Ruben Sandoval, Danny's neighbor?'

'Yes. I talked to Danny, see if he needed anything but he said he was okay. Guess he was tired of people saying that.'

'Well, today Ruben's mom stole Messer's gun and wanted to shoot the guy responsible for the kid's death.'

'Oh, and what happened?' Lily was concerned, Danny was probably in trouble.

'So I went on a wild search for Messer, then on a wild search for that guy Ollie Barnes and we finally found Mrs. Sandoval,' he sighed. 'No casualties, thank God. Ruben's mom was walked through the system, she'll be out soon and Danny's feeling guilty but nothing will happen to him.'

'Good to know. You're a great friend, you know that?'

'What does that have to do with anything?'

'You went on two wild searches for your friend and made things easy for Mrs. Sandoval all on your afternoon off; if that's not being a good friend I don't know what is …'

'Wish Danny would see it like that, he thinks I'm meddling.'

'I think he knows, he was just upset at the time.'

'Yeah, thanks. You always know how to make me feel better,' he was a bit relieved.

'Anyway I can help, honey.'

'Keep talking to me, will ya?'

'What about?'

'Anything, something,' he pleaded.

'Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately,' she started shyly.

'What about?' he chuckled after quoting her.

'Boston and being a cop.'

'Oh.'

'I've been replaying something Stella told me over and over again on my mind; how I needed to get back on the force, how I could still do the job,' her tone was soft and she chose her words carefully, knowing what his reaction would be.

'So what, you're going back to Boston?' his voice rose a few decibels.

'No, my life's here now. But I was thinking about joining the NYPD,' she braced herself for his outburst.

'You've gotta be kidding me! It's not enough to see me struggle with the job everyday, huh? Don't know if you were good but now? There's no way you'll get in. You're out of training, haven't been a cop for years …' Flack was nearly screaming.

'FYI, darling, I've been physically fit ever since the Dusby incident and I still remember procedures. Not to mention criminal laws are fresh on my mind,' she tried to keep her tone cool.

'Well, foot patrol in a small neighborhood's not the same as being on patrol in New York. More people, more perps, more danger,' he explained.

'Just so you know, after finishing the Vice assignment I was going to get into the BIS either as a C.S.I. or as a Homicide detective. But life had other plans for me,' she wasn't angry anymore, just sad.

'I'm sorry. What I'm trying to say is, you really think you're ready for this? 'Cause the job's tough,' he lowered his voice.

'It's not a whim, I … need to do this.'

'Why leave the comfort of your office, huh? Especially now that you're a founding partner, earning a lot of money, being your own boss. On the NYPD and on the streets you're no one. Gotta prove yourself constantly and make a name for yourself. You've already got that practising law,' he tried to reason with her.

'And being a lawyer's great but there's a void it can't fill. Like a piece of me that's missing unless I'm on the streets with a badge. You should know that feeling better than anybody.'

'I do, I do,' he sighed. 'This is really dangerous, Lily. You sure you want to risk your life every day?'

'I'm sure I want to be out there … fixing things before it's too late, helping you.'

'Sometimes it doesn't turn out that way. Promise me you'll give it a second thought,' he pleaded.

'I will. That doesn't mean I'll change my mind, though.'

'Fair enough,' Flack sighed, relieved. At least there was a chance she'd decide it wasn't what she wanted, right? He still had some time to talk her out of it and that would be enough for now.

He couldn't help thinking that she'd lost it completely. Leaving your safe job to become a cop was masochistic, to say the least. He loved his job and if it was up to him, he'd never retire but this was different. This was his calling; the only thing he was good at. But her? She was an incredible lawyer and to risk that was insane. He understood – up to some point – her frustration, yet Flack thought she was making a mistake.

The following morning Lily was at the coffee shop she always went to during her break. Lost in thought, she ran her index finger around the lid of her cup. Everything was quiet, everyone minding their own business until two guys in a suspicious attitude entered the small coffee shop. Both men looked nervous and this made Lily uneasy; something wasn't right. So she stood, threw the empty cup away and walked towards them.

The taller man took a gun out of his waistband and told everyone to stay still. The other one ordered the cashier to put the money in a bag and give it to him.

Lily took two more steps towards the robbers and got close to them.

'Hey lady, told ya not to move!' the man pointed the gun at her.

'What you gonna do? Shoot me?' she laughed sardonically. 'Have you ever pulled the trigger?'

'I'll shoot ya!' he was getting agitated as he told his partner to take the money and leave.

Lily took advantage of his distraction to take the gun out of his hand and point it at him.

'Come here. Try to pull something and I shoot your partner,' she told the accomplice who was still near the register.

The now disarmed robber tried to reach for the weapon as his partner walked towards them but she cocked the gun and pointed it at his heart.

'Lie down, face to the floor, hands on your head,' Lily ordered and they obeyed.

They waited like that until the first responders got into the coffee shop.

'Ma'am, leave the gun on the floor and kick it in our direction,' instructed one of the cops.

Lily did as she was told and let the two officers take charge of the situation.

'Are you a cop, Ma'am?'

She shook her head.

'We need you to come with us,' told her one of the cops who had arrived as backup and proceeded to cuff her.

'Why are you cuffing me? I wasn't the one trying to rob this place!'

'You were pointing a gun to two men when first responders got to the scene. Until we clear you, we have to treat you like a suspect, ma'am,' he guided her to the back of a police car.

'You've got no probable cause to detain me. I'll give you a statement and answer all your questions; the cuffs are unnecessary,' Lily tried to remain calm.

'It's just procedure.'

'I want to make a call,' she stated.

'When we get to the precinct.'

'No, now. You going to violate that right too?'

One of the cops gave her cell phone after dialing the number she wanted to call.

'Don, I've got a question about procedure in the NYPD,' she gave the cops a pointed look even though they couldn't see her. 'Say, if I was to stop a robbery in progress, would it be reason to get arrested?'

'Yeah, I'm on a patrol car on the way to the 10th Precinct … cuffed,' she gulped. 'You sure? Don't you have a case? … I'd appreciate it, thanks.'

Two minutes later they got to their destination and she was taken to an interrogation room.

'What happened, Lily?' Flack stormed into the room and sat in front of her.

'You aren't supposed to be here, they haven't interrogated me yet.'

'Professional courtesy. I have five minutes, so?' he was anxious.

'I was having coffee like I do any normal day and two guys come in, trying to rob the coffee shop. I disarmed the one who had the gun and subdued them until the police came. Now, I don't know why, but they're treating me like a suspect,' she was distressed.

'Witness statements are gonna match yours?'

'That's what I did, that's what happened.'

'Okay, let me see what I can do,' he stood up and squeezed her hand before leaving the room.

An hour later, after she'd signed a statement Lily was free to go. Flack was waiting for her outside of the interrogation room.

'Sorry for making you come, clearly there was a misunderstanding,' she apologized with her eyes fixed on the floor.

'It's okay. I'll take you home, c'mon,' he put his hand on the small of her back, intending to guide her out of the building when Sergeant Lucas called her name.

Lily walked towards him and sat down as he told her to.

'I apologize Ms. Stewart for any inconvenience.'

'No problem Sergeant.'

'It took some time to get your records. I didn't know you were the female cop who got hurt in Boston some years ago.'

She stiffened but didn't say a word.

'My friend was your sergeant, Sergeant Rodriguez and he told me about it. Said you transferred to the NYPD.'

'I only worked in Legal Aid while in New York, I was never on the streets,' she debated with herself and continued speaking. 'But I'd like to.'

'You'd like to work in the NYPD again?' he asked surprised.

'Yes, sir.'

'Aren't you a lawyer?'

'Yes, but it's getting frustrating and I want to wear a badge again.'

'So you want to go to the Academy?'

'I was hoping I didn't have to. I've got prior experience in Law Enforcement, I've got knowledge of criminal laws and I'm physically fit. Not to mention I still fulfill the age requirement.'

'You'd still have to pass a test, it's a very demanding job.'

'I know, sir but I want to do it.'

'You want a desk job, beat, patrol … ?'

'Patrol.'

'That what you did in Boston?'

'Yes, sir. Although sometimes I covered other officers beats.'

'Sergeant Rodriguez said you were good and we _are_ currently understaffed … This is what we'll do: you'll take a JST and a written test. If you pass it you start on patrol with a training officer, like any other rookie, okay?'

'Thank you, sir. I appreciate it.'

'So come next week for the tests.'

Lily nodded and they shook hands before she went to where Flack was waiting.

'What was all that about?' he was curious.

'Nothing, the usual 'we're very sorry for any inconvenience' speech,' she dismissed it with a wave of her hand.

'It was rather long.'

'You know how it is, cops hate having to deal with lawyers. They're afraid of being sued and all …'

'Right,' he wasn't very convinced but believed her anyway.

'Aren't you going to lecture me?' she asked.

'Why? 'Cause you risked your life and everyone else's trying to disarm the perps? 'Cause you threatened to shoot them?' he was clearly upset.

She nodded.

'I'm not gonna waste my breath,' he shook his head. 'What you did was careless, stupid and dangerous and we both know it.'

'I wasn't thinking clearly, it was an impulse. Sorry.'

'Everything turned out okay, let's leave it at that.'

'Fair enough.'

The couple got into his car and spent the trip to Lily's place in silence.

'Thanks for coming and helping me, I appreciate it,' she smiled sincerely.

'It was the least I could do, you're my girlfriend,' Flack sat on the couch.

'Then I should thank you properly.'

Lily straddled him and they kissed hungrily, wanting to forget the last couple of hours from hell. The kiss deepened and quickly evolved. Some minutes later they were putting on their clothes again, much more relaxed.

'If that's how you're gonna thank me, I should help you more often,' said Flack as he pressed her against his chest.

'That would be an abuse on my part,' she smiled.

'How come?'

'Not only do you help me, I get to enjoy your reward too.'

'Not complaining,' he grinned.

'Of course not,' she snuggled closer to him and ran her hand up and down his chest a few times. 'You're so comfy!'

'I'll start hitting the gym more often,' he answered humorously.

'Don't, you're perfect this way. What I meant is that I like cuddling with you.'

'Yeah, you're comfy too.'

'I'll cut down the amount of chocolate I ingest.'

'That's not what I meant, you're not fat,' he chuckled. 'I like your … soft shapes.'

'Is that an euphemism for breasts?'

'And ass,' he cupped said body part of hers to make a point.

'Will you ever stop thinking about sex all the time?' she rolled her eyes.

'Not while we're together.'

* * *

Okay guys, you know the drill: leave a review with your comments, suggestions, etc.

Special thanks to:

**sparkyCSI**


	26. Tell me about it

Chapter 26 – Tell me about it

Three weeks had passed and Lily was at her law firm doing some paperwork. She'd reorganized her schedule after being accepted on the NYPD and was working there for two or three hours after her shift every day. Her partners had agreed with her new working hours as long as she stayed involved with the firm and so far she'd kept her promise. She was, after all, the boss and therefore had a lot of responsibilities.

A man in his mid-forties entered suddenly, firing a shot at the ceiling and telling everyone to stay still. Lily rushed to the reception area and so did James Walsh, one of her partners. I would reword this. It seems disjointed during this part of the story. Maybe something like this: Keeping to her promise, she was working late one afternoon, only slightly tired after working a ten hour patrol shift, when she heard a gunshot out in the reception area. Her instincts rushed forward as she practically ran from her office, on the heels of James Walsh, one of the partners. What they found was a man in his mid-forties standing in front of the receptionist, gun in hand, telling everyone to stay still.

'What's going on here?' asked James with a powerful voice.

'Nobody moves until I get the divorce cancelled,' the gunman stated.

Lily thought quickly. She knew that she might be able to talk her way out of the situation. 'If you tell me your name we can do something about it,' she said.

'Jack Holden. My wife's Patty Holden.'

James ordered one of the secretaries to find the divorce papers on their records. There were some tense couple of minutes while the secretary complied with his request. When she did, he read the file.

'I'm very sorry Mr. Holden but,' he swallowed, 'the divorce is already finished. You signed the papers …'

'No, there must be something you can do. You sneaky lawyers can always find something,' he shouted as he pointed the gun at James.

Lily decided to intervene. 'Sir, I can count al least ten criminal charges that can be dropped on you after the last ten minutes, don't make it worse,' Lily tried to convince him.

She thought she saw a flicker of doubt in his mind, a softening of his resolve and she sighed internally in relief as she saw the gun begin to lower. Unfortunately, the door opened behind him and Billy, a sophomore at NYU who delivered documents for the firm, completely unaware of the hostage situation, entered.

The gunman turned around after hearing the door open and thinking it was a police officer, fired. He hit Billy on the chest, eliciting screams and cries from his co-workers.

'Billy!' Lily screamed and ran to the boy, not caring about the man pointing a gun at her. She used her jacket to try to stop the bleeding but it wasn't really working. _Where the hell are the cops? _She cursed mentally_. __Did anyone call them?_

Jack Holden looked shocked at what had just happened. 'I didn't mean to – thought he was a cop.'

'We have to call the paramedics,' James made an attempt to grab the phone.

'No!' Holden yelled as he pointed the gun back at James.

'Don't make it worse, don't let him die …' he pleaded.

'You let Billy die, I'll make it my personal mission to stick as many charges on you as I can, I'll even try to get you capital punishment,' Lily growled as she pressed her jacket harder into the wound.

'You don't want her doing that,' said James. 'She's the best.'

Blood stopped gushing from Billy's wound and Lily didn't need to check his pulse to know he'd died. She stood and walked to the gunman.

'Don't move,' the gun was pointed at her heart.

'Are you gonna kill me too?' she made a motion as if she was going to step back but instead grabbed the gun and took it from Holden. He froze and the rest of the people witnessing it sighed. It was over.

'On your knees,' she commanded but he didn't move. 'Get on your knees, dammit!'

Holden slowly got to the floor, a smirk on his face. 'Kill me, I know you want to.'

'I'd love to. But the pleasure of seeing you rot in jail will be even better.'

First responders entered, guns drawn and took charge of the situation. When Flack walked in ten minutes later, he was afraid of what he might find. The suspect already taken to be booked and he let out a breath after seeing his girlfriend talking to one of her colleagues.

'Lil, what happened, babe?' his voice was soft as he enveloped her in a hug. She didn't answer but motioned him to do his work and find out.

Some minutes later, after getting some statements from witnesses and talking to first on scene he had a pretty good idea of what had happened and wasn't too pleased about it.

'Do you have a death wish? Or do you just disarm gunmen as a hobby?' his tone was hard.

'Oh, so I should have waited to see how many of my employees he was gonna kill?' she was still upset.

'You can't keep risking your life like that.'

'These are my people, Don! It's my job to protect them, not get them killed.'

'I know you feel like that but you're just a lawyer, not a superhero.'

Lily bit her lip, knowing that her secret was going to come out once he found out about her reactions, but her temper flared. 'I'm responsible for them. If taking care of my people is being a superhero then I guess I should find a good costume,' she was furious.

'Flower! What the hell were you thinking?!' a man in his late twenties walked to the couple, completely enraged.

'Steve, please not now,' Lily pleaded.

Flack was curious as to the identity of this man.

'Sir, this is a crime scene, you can't be here,' the detective moved in front of his girlfriend, protection-mode activated.

'I'm a cop,' he showed the silver badge and continued his rant against Lily. 'Are you outta your mind?! You wanna get yourself killed?'

'Please not you too!'

'You thought I wouldn't get mad when I knew about it? I couldn't believe my ears when I heard it on the radio.'

'Steve, c'mon! You would have done the same!' she answered back.

'Without a vest, a gun or back up? You wanna die that much?' his voice could be heard all the way to Brooklyn.

Flack still didn't know who this man was but he liked him already. They were on the same page.

'See? I'm not the only one who thinks you're crazy,' Flack gave her a pointed look.

'You're one lucky bitch, Flower!' the officer grunted and hugged Lily.

'He was just a boy, Steve,' she said softly as tears started rolling down her cheeks.

When the hug finished Flack took her in his arms.

'I'm officer Steve Craig,' he extended his hand, remembering he'd been too angry to introduce himself.

'Detective Don Flack,' he shook his hand.

'So you're Flower's boyfriend? Nice to finally meet you.'

'Sorry I can't say the same, Lily's never mentioned you. How did you two meet?' he was a bit apprehensive.

'I'm her training officer.'

'Training officer?' Flack's eyes went wide as he looked at his girlfriend.

'You said he knew,' Steve was surprised too.

'I'm working as a cop, Don.'

'If you don't mind Steve, we'll talk about it at home. Nice meeting you,' he took her girlfriend out of the building and to his car.

'Were you never gonna tell me?' he asked, hurt evident in his voice.

'I didn't know how to. Didn't want you to react like this, I'm sorry.'

'No, no. You gotta stop apologizing and start being honest.'

'I've been working as a patrol cop in the 10th precinct for three weeks. That's what I talked about with Sergeant Lucas that time they arrested me.'

'I can't believe it!' he shook his head. 'What if something happened to you? I would have found out after you got hurt.'

'I know and I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to get mad.'

'Well, I'm really pissed off right now!'

'I'm sorry,' she whispered.

'Can't you be honest with me for a change?'

'If I didn't tell you it was because I didn't want you to hate me. I knew it'd make you angry.'

'Any more secrets I should know? You got a kid or something?'

'No, that's all,' she smiled. 'But you could help me create a kid.'

'You know practice makes perfect so: practice with me and make it with someone else,' he grinned.

'Then I'd rather practice forever!' Lily kissed him.

'A'right, but not here,' he said and she kissed him again, hotter this time. 'I have to get back to work. Mind if I swing by your place to talk after my shift?'

'I'll be waiting,' she kissed him for the third time and left the car.

Some hours later Flack knocked on her door.

'Sorry for screaming at you earlier. I know you were upset for the kid's death and I shouldn't have …' he sat on the couch, loosening his tie.

'It's okay, I deserved it.'

'I don't want you working as a uniform,' he stated.

'Why not?'

'Why? 'Cause it's too dangerous.'

'Living is dangerous, Don. I could get hit by a bus on my way to the store.'

'But this is an extra risk,' he bit his lip before confessing. 'If it was up to me, I'd put you in a bubble where nothing and no one could hurt you; not even me. I don't want to see you suffer.'

'Aww, that's sweet. But you can't protect me from the world,' she caressed his cheek. 'I appreciate it.'

'I know what it's like to be on the streets and it's not something I want you to experience. There's too much at risk, too much to lose. I just couldn't bear to get that phone call, you know?'

'I get exactly what you mean. That's how I feel too.'

'You do?' they had never talked about it so Flack was somewhat surprised.

'A knot in the stomach, praying that you'll come home after your shift, hoping you don't get hurt; yeah, I worry a lot about you.'

'Is this revenge? You want me to suffer too?'

'Never. It's just something I need to do.'

He sighed and kissed her.

'So we are okay?' asked Lily.

'Almost.'

'What can I do to fix that?'

'I can think of a few things,' he said in her ear before kissing her neck.

Lily straddled Flack and kissed him a couple of times. One of his hands was fondling her butt while the other one was under her sweater, caressing Lily's back. That's when they were interrupted by his cell phone ringing. He groaned as she moved over.

'You have to go back?' she asked disappointedly.

'Sorry, Lil,' he kissed her and left.

Maybe Flack was right. One in the couple being a cop was crazy enough, the two of them was probably too much. But she really needed to do this, she just _had_ to. There were a few couples with both people in the force and they worked perfectly well. The fact that two of the women were on desk duty ever since getting married was neither here nor there. They were happy and that was all that counted, right? She and Flack had gone through a lot of things already so this didn't have to be a major problem. _It's gonna be alright. Yeah, we're gonna be okay._

_

* * *

_

_Pretty intense chapter, gotta thank **sparkyCSI** for helping with the action scenes; you're amazing!_

Also, a huge, enormous thanks to **BlueEyedAuthor**. Your support is fantastic, really appreciate it and hope you don't get disappointed.


	27. What are you thinking?

Chapter 27 – What are you thinking?

'You have a sibling who's always in trouble too, how do you deal with it?' Flack asked Lily one night after work.

'I haven't talked to him for a decade,' she smiled. 'What happened?'

'Sam. She hangs around the wrong people, does stupid things … and I have to fix it for her.'

'You don't _have_ to, but you do it 'cause you're a good brother. You worry about her.'

'Yeah, but I won't always be there to protect her and my dad washed his hands off some time ago. She's bound to screw up again.'

'Well, maybe she needs to learn how to deal with the consequences of her acts. We all have to grow up at some point …' Lily put a hand on his forearm.

'Guess you're right,' he sighed. 'What if she does something so stupid there's no going back? What if she goes to jail or something?'

'What faith you have on your sister! I'm sure her rebellious streak will end soon.'

'I just wish she'd play by the rules.'

'I think that by living in a house with two cops she was too asphyxiated by them and wanted to break free.'

'We're not talking 'bout stupid rules but laws. She has to obey them whether my dad and I are strict or not,' he was harsh.

'I'm not condoning her behavior, just saying why she is that way.'

'Well, her rebellion is gonna send her to jail or six feet under. Wish I could do something …'

'She's a good kid, she'll find her way. With such a good brother, who could go wrong?' Lily kissed her boyfriend.

'She lent her car to a complete stranger who ended up on the morgue 'cause she was a criminal. That's the kind of stupid thing she's doing,' Flack massaged his temple.

'Okay, so she's careless and that _was_ a bit stupid but I'm sure she had the best intentions …'

'The road to disaster is paved with good intentions. You know better than anybody that sometimes trying isn't enough.'

'And I also know that if you don't try you won't succeed; practice is the key to success,' she put her hand on his shoulder. 'She'll be alright, don't worry.'

'I'm not so sure about that!' he grimaced.

'Maybe we should talk about something else?' suggested Lily.

'How's being a cop?'

'It's … interesting. And rewarding.'

He laughed. 'You're hating every second of it, aren't ya?'

'No, why would you say that?' she was puzzled.

'Because you're a control freak and you can't control what happens on the streets.'

'I'm not finding it stressful, at all. I still have to get used to the craziness but that's it.'

'You like being the rookie?' he smirked.

'Yeah, it's so fun!' sarcasm dripped from her voice. 'Not only am I a girl but a lawyer; the guys are having a field day.'

'Bet they are,' he smiled. 'But you must be putting them in their place.'

'Somewhat. Steve helps me a lot.'

'Oh, I'm sure he's _very_ helpful,' there was an acid edge to his words.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Don't ruffle your feathers, I'm just saying he's a bit too friendly for a TO.'

'Why? 'Cause he's not old school? 'Cause he's against hazing the rookies? You don't have to be mean to teach the newbies what they need to learn.'

'The fact that they've been doing it for decades and has resulted in damn good cops is neither here nor there.'

'You don't need to be humiliated to be good, that's where you got it wrong.'

'He may be _nice_ but he's still too friendly.'

'Why don't you just admit you're jealous of my TO and get it over with? He's not _too_ friendly, you're just jealous I spend eight hours with him alone in a car,' she raised her eyebrow to emphasize her point. She could have used another wording but she wanted to hurt his pride, make him think his jealousy wasn't so unfounded.

'Oh, I'm sorry for being jealous of a guy who spends eight hours with you alone in a car. A guy who knows you for only three weeks and already has you falling in his arms crying. A guy who's in a power position and orders you around. A guy who defends you from the rest because he wants to be on your good side to end on your bed. A guy who you trust with your life and would die for. You're right; why should I be jealous?'

'Aww, Donny! _You_ are the only man I trust with my life,' said Lily softly.

'That's not true.'

'Well, I trust Steve with my physical health but when it comes to both body and heart I only trust you.'

'You're just saying that to make me feel better so you can run and sleep with Steve without worrying.'

'Damn! You discovered my plan,' she said in mock defeat. 'Pray tell me: _why_ would I sleep with him when I have a sexy stallion right here with me?'

'Flattery will get you nowhere.'

'And the truth shall set you free, I was just being honest. But it's okay, I can go knock on his door and see if he takes me …' she moved as if she was getting up from the couch.

'No way!' he grabbed his girlfriend by the waist and kept his grip on her. 'You're mine and I'm not sharing you with some pansy who doesn't know how to be a cop.'

'A little territorial, aren't we?'

'You haven't seen anything yet.'

'Oh, dark and hot caveman, what are you gonna do?'

'I'm gonna tie you to the bed and make you forget any other guy,' there was a glint in his eyes she'd never seen before.

'If you're gonna show me some police brutality, I'm game,' she licked her upper lip. Now it was his turn to be surprised but also be more than willing to please her.

After the last scream was uttered, Flack pressed his forehead against hers until their breathings got normal and then fell on the bed next to Lily.

'So how's that for police brutality?' he asked.

'Makes me wonder why people complain so much,' she put one of her hands below her navel.

'You a'right?'

'Yeah, just hurts a bit.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't apologize for the best sex of my life.'

'I'm flattered. Does that mean we're having rough sex more often?'

'Hell yeah. But next time I'm pushing you against a wall and having my way with you.'

'Looking forward to it,' he smiled and kissed her sweetly. 'Why do you wanna be a cop so much?'

'Don't know. I have a need to do it, as if a magnet attracted me to the shield.'

'Don't you wanna ride a desk or something? Or are you gonna be a uniform forever?' Flack wanted her to desist.

'I wanna be a Homicide detective, actually. But I've still got some time before that.'

'Trust me, you don't really want to do it,' he shook his head.

'You love it! You bitched around those months that you were on medical leave, saying you missed the dead bodies, the crazies and the long hours.'

'Yeah but that's 'cause I'm weird that way, it's the only thing I'm good at. But you? You're an amazing lawyer, you don't have to go through all this shit we endure, there's a better life for you out there. You'll see it soon,' he nodded for emphasis.

'That better life you're talking about is BS. It's frustrating and phony and plainly insignificant. It's like chasing the last train of the day; stupid, useless and painful 'cause you're gonna end up pulling a hamstring. God knows I've had my fair share of injuries.'

'It pays better, it's safe, has better hours, you don't have to suffer the weather, the results are easier to see, a good part of the community respects you …' he listed all the good aspects.

'It's unsatisfying and unfulfilling and after a while it suffocates you.'

'Everything suffocates you after a while.'

'Not true. How long have you been a cop?'

'Almost fifteen years,' he sighed. Had it actually been so long?

'Are you suffocated?' she raised an eyebrow, proving her point.

'I don't have much choice; it's either this or a job at Starbucks. And making coffee isn't really my thing.'

'You're a very smart man with an eye for detail and analytical skills, not to mention you're in great shape and are very ethical. You could do anything you wanted.'

'Got only a high school diploma.'

'It's never too late to go to college,' Lily pointed out.

'I'm not cut for that kind of thing. Plus, who would pay for it?'

'I would.'

Flack gave her a pointed look.

'It'd be a loan, no big deal,' she shrugged it off.

'I'd never be able to repay you.'

'Not true, you could repay me with services like cleaning the dishes, making the bed, fixing stuff …'

'Wouldn't be fair on you.'

'It's fair if I'm okay with it. Just think about it, a'right?'

Flack nodded and became silent, actually considering the offer. Nah, he was too old for that. Besides, he loved his job even if sometimes it got the best of him. Like a few days later when he got to his apartment almost in a state of shock.

He opened the door and gasped in surprise when he saw his girlfriend inside.

'What are you doin' here?' he asked.

'We were supposed to have dinner together. Are you okay?'

'I'm fine.'

'It was more of a rhetorical question, actually. You're clearly _not_ okay, what happened?'

'Weird case, that's all,' he fixed himself a drink with enough vodka.

'Must be extremely weird if it got you so freaked out, wanna share?'

'I'm not freaking out!'

'Don, you're sweating, shaking and have just spilled your drink on you 'cause you weren't paying attention,' she moved in to help him clean his clothes. 'Let's talk it out.'

'I'm just being stupid, that's all,' he managed to take a sip without further spilling it on himself.

'Bet you aren't. Seeing as you're usually calm and collected this is bad.'

'A girl died from radiation poisoning and Sid is in the hospital for it,' he said shakily.

'Do you know what it was?'

'Thalium.'

'Woah! Is he being treated?' Lily was worried.

'Yeah, we'll just have to wait.'

'That's good. Prussian Blue should make him better quickly.'

'How do you know so much about it?' he was curious.

'My major was in chemistry,' she explained.

'Really? I didn't know that.' He was taken aback. 'How did you end up a lawyer?'

'My internship was with the Boston Crime Lab, so I needed to take a few classes in criminal law and … I got hooked,' she chuckled at the memory.

'Why didn't you become a C.S.I.?'

'Because I went to law school and that led me to New York,' she smiled.

'Then I'm glad you went to law school,' he smiled back. 'Ummm, is … there any chance the radiation screwed me up?'

'Where did you find the body, closed or open space?' Lily got into worry mode.

'Open. At the park.'

'The more ventilation, the better. That's probably why Sid got sick and not the people who were at the scene; no air at the morgue.'

'Oh. Okay, thanks,' he was relieved.

'What did you mean with "screw up"? Afraid of getting poisoned or something in particular?'

'Particular. You know how some kinds of radiation leave you sterile?' he looked down, embarrassed. 'You'd be a great detective, by the way.'

'If you get Thallium poisoning being sterile is the least of your problems, trust me. But no, it doesn't cause infertility. Specially not in people who haven't really been exposed to it,' she reassured him by squeezing his hand.

'Thanks. I was worried for a sec.'

'You planning to have any kids soon?'

'Well, not soon. But eventually, y'know? If I ever settle down …'

'Wow. Who'd ever thought you were gonna think 'bout settling down and having kids?' she joked but was actually unsettled by his comment.

'I think everybody wants it at some point. The thing is if you're prepared or not.'

'Are you prepared?'

'Woah – what are you tryna tell me, Lil?' he freaked out a little.

'I was just asking …' she raised her hands in mock defense.

'I'd like to first get married, y'know? Plan it. But if it happens … You?'

'I don't think you're ever prepared but I'd like to plan it too. You're not getting a pet; you're bringing a human being to the world so you should give it some thought.'

'You think it's the Catholic school upbringing?' he asked curiously.

'Don't think so. It's our job; life is important. We've seen too many people with screwed up lives because their parents didn't really care.'

'You're afraid, aren't ya?'

'Of what?'

'Screwing your kids up. You'd rather not be a mother,' he was touched.

'You should protect and love your children not make them miserable.'

'You won't, you'll make a great mom someday,' he kissed her reassuringly.

* * *

Title came from a line in 5x01 - Veritas, only one word to describe said line: _amazing_. Thanks, as usual, to **sparkyCSI** for her dedication and willingness to help.


	28. Making memories

Chapter 28 – Making memories

It wasn't raining as Flack drove that night to Lily's place but it should have been. If he had an accident because of the rain he could go into a coma and maybe when he woke up again, everything would have been fixed. _Nah, the physical therapy's a bitch!_ Maybe he could just hit his head, have amnesia and – _ta dah__! – _everything would be fixed. Emphasis on the _everything would be fixed_. But Don Flack didn't have that luck and it was a beautiful night. Any other day, he would have reveled in the quietness of the city, the glow of the moon, the breeze that came from the window. But not tonight. Because he had messed up big time and making it right meant hurting the only person he truly loved. _If you really loved her you wouldn't have done what you did_, that annoying voice in his head reminded him. The worst thing about that voice was that it was right. If he loved her, he wouldn't have … he parked in front of her building and pressed his forehead against the steering wheel. He _had_ to tell her, that was the first step. He just wished he didn't have to. Because it was going to hurt both of them. Flack took a deep breath and got out of the car. On the way to her apartment he kept beating himself up mentally. _Why_ had he been so stupid? He should stop being impulsive like that because it was clearly a problem.

There was a knock on Lily's door and after overcoming her surprise, she opened it.

'Don! What a nice surprise, wasn't expecting you,' she smiled and her eyes lightened up.

Flack groaned and almost left. He couldn't do it when she was all happy to see him. Granted, once he opened his mouth she wasn't going to be so excited. He felt like the biggest jerk for having to confess what he'd done. He massaged his temple.

'Had a rough day, I see. Want coffee or something?' she asked with concern and he shook his head. 'Talking 'bout it helps.'

'Sam screwed up again.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Not your fault. Told you it would happen,' he said acidly.

'What did she do?'

'She lost her job.'

'She can get another one.'

'She was fired because she drank on the job.'

'Don, does she have a drinking problem?' she treaded lightly.

'She's an alcoholic.'

'Don't be so harsh, maybe she just …'

'I followed her to an AA meeting,' he interrupted her.

'That's a good thing. If Sam's already seeking help, the first battle's already won.'

'It's gonna take more than a battle for her to overcome it.'

'One step at a time. I can get her a job as long as she's committed to going to the meetings and soon she'll be on the right track.'

'Thanks but don't. She has to find her own way,' _and you shouldn't do me any __favors__ after what I did_.

'Only temporary, until something better comes along. I do believe in second chances,' she smiled reassuringly and put her hand on his bicep. He drew away. 'What else is wrong?'

'Mmm?' he played dumb.

'You've barely made eye contact, you've drawn away physically from me and have been acting weird since you came in. What's wrong?' she was worried and confused but the concern was what made Flack feel more guilty.

'You're gonna be a great detective.'

'It's because I know you. And not only do I realize when somebody's lying to me, I know when they're deflecting, so spill.'

'I really screwed up, Lily,' he buried his face in his hands.

'Surely there's a way to make it better? I'm listening.'

'Before I tell you, I need you to know how sorry I am. I wish it hadn't happened and if I could take it back, I'd do it in a heartbeat,' he looked straight into her eyes for the last time before hurting her.

'Okay, I'm getting worried here.'

'My car was at home so when I went to talk to my sister and I saw her going out, followed her on foot. I thought she was going to get in trouble and I called Angell in case Sam had to be booked. I didn't wanna be her arresting officer, y'know?' he paused to find the courage to actually tell her the whole story.

'I'm not gonna like the end of it, am I?' Lily braced herself for something bad.

'The door of the room where the meeting was being held was half closed and I listened to my sister say how we were the perfect family and she was the screw up,' it hurt him to repeat it, it hurt him to go on. 'So obviously, me being a good brother, went out and screwed up big time.'

'What did you do, Don?' she didn't want to ask but knew he wanted to tell her and needed a little push.

'I needed to walk it off so I told her I didn't need the ride but before she left I … I kissed her,' he looked down. 'I'm really sorry, Lily.'

'Please tell me this is a very, _very_ bad joke,' she couldn't believe her ears.

'I wish it was,' he said with a pained expression and tried to hug her.

'Don't touch me, just … don't!' she moved away from him.

'I'm so sorry, I wish it …'

'Stop it with the excuses and fake apologies, I need to process this,' she shut him up and ran her hand through her hair.

'If I could go back in time …'

'You'd do it again. I should've known. There was something between you two when you were together, guess I just chose to ignore it 'cause you were with me.'

'No, there's nothing between us, just a stupid kiss which was a mistake.'

'If it'd been just a stupid kiss you wouldn't have told me. You're not here because of honesty or morality but because of guilt. You want absolution and Don, I can't give you that, I'm sorry,' tears started streaming down her face.

'I'm asking you to forgive me.'

'Go to a priest. Maybe a couple Hail Mary's will ease your conscience.'

'Lily, please! I'm sorry,' his eyes were welling up with tears.

'Saying sorry isn't gonna change the fact that you cheated on me.'

'It was a stupid kiss!'

'Yeah, with another woman! You know what hurts the most?' she asked and Flack shook his head. 'If she'd kissed you and you'd kissed her back, I could have lived with that. Painful but I would have forgiven you. Knowing that you initiated it; that's devastating.'

Tears were flowing freely down both of their faces.

'Is there anything I can do to make it better? Maybe not to forgive me but to make you feel better,' he offered.

'Oh no, you've done enough! Weird thing is the thought of you cheating on me never even crossed my mind. You were so righteous and … I never even considered that possibility.'

'I didn't sleep with her!'

'Yet. Don't worry, I'll stay out of your way so you can do it without feeling guilty.'

'I don't want to, I just want you. I _love_ you.'

'Funny. Thought that if you loved someone you didn't think of other people.'

'I just think of you babe, please.'

'Don't give me that crap! Tell me, how long have you been thinking 'bout her?'

'A couple of months,' he admitted ashamedly after a pause.

'And you come and tell me you just think of me? What a hypocrite! But since we're obviously over, now you can go with her,' she stood up and grabbed her purse.

'Where you goin'?' he asked.

'I need to clear my head. Leave the doorman my spare key when you leave,' she opened the door and spoke before leaving, 'hope you're really happy together and that she was worth it.'

Flack didn't want her wandering through the streets at night but realized she needed her space so he didn't follow. He just buried his head in his hands and hoped it was a nightmare he was going to wake up from in some minutes, with his girlfriend holding him and telling him it was gonna be okay. That was all he wished.

Lily took the L train and since it was empty, used the ride to cry her heart out. She then ran to her destination and knocked on the door.

'What are you doing here this late? What happened?' she was ushered inside.

'I'm sorry, I … didn't know where else to go.'

'You'll always have a place here, everyone does.'

'I know, that's why I came. Do you need any help? Is there anything I could do?'

'Why don't you to talk to me first?'

'You should go back to sleep not hear some stupid story,' she explained.

'I'm already awake so you might as well …'

'I feel like a moron. My boyfriend cheated on me and seeing as I'm not gonna get any sleep tonight, thought I could help you; do something nice, I don't know.'

'"Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone" – Galatians 6:10. I could use another person tomorrow.'

'Thanks. But is there something I can do now? Like clean or something?' she pleaded.

'Sure. You could start with the floors, I guess. The mop's over there,' he pointed at a cupboard and turned to leave.

'Thanks Tom,' Lily grabbed what she needed and started scrubbing the church's floors.

It took her three hours and a half to get to the altar. Once there, she spent forty minutes trying to clean the same spot. When Father Tom O'Callahan walked in, he found her still scrubbing that place, crying.

'Did the brush say something mean? Why are you crying?' he joked.

'It's just that … no matter how hard I try, I can't clean it,' she brushed some tears from her face and kept scrubbing.

'Looks pretty clean to me,' he raised an eyebrow. 'You did a good job, thanks. Now you should get some rest.'

'I'm almost finished. What time is it, by the way?'

'5:20. What time do you have to be at work?'

'If I leave at six, I'll be there in time.'

Father O'Callahan kneeled and after grabbing a sponge started cleaning too. When they were done he told her to have breakfast with him.

'You feeling any better?' he handed her a cup of coffee.

'Yeah, thanks. I really needed that,' she yawned.

'What? The working or the coffee?'

'Both, actually. I appreciate it.'

'Don't mention it,' he smiled.

'I know I haven't been here in a long time and I'm sorry.'

'You're here now. You've found solace in the house of the Lord, that's enough.'

'I've found solace in a very good friend,' she corrected him with a smile.

'Some things never change, huh?' he grinned.

'I guess they don't. You'll always be a man of God, I'll always be a woman of science.'

'I'm fine with that, you?'

'Wouldn't have it any other way.'

'How's life, besides this boyfriend thing?' he wanted to catch up with her.

'Good. I'm working as a cop and I'm running my own law firm too, it's great.'

'I'm happy for you. Running this place is sometimes crazy; too many people and not enough funds,' he frowned.

'You're doing a great thing here, Tom. Remember that.'

'Wish I could do more, though.'

'If there's any way I can help, let me know,' she paused. 'I'd ask about your love life but there's nothing to say, is there?'

'Nope. You? Should I pray for the guy to go to hell?' he smiled.

'No, he's gonna go to Heaven,' she smiled sadly.

'I was joking Lily, sorry.'

'It's okay. He's a detective, you know? An amazing guy.'

'Who cheated on you.'

'That doesn't mean I don't love him. Or that he's not wonderful.'

'You've always loved too much, Lil.'

'Pot calling the kettle black; you're a priest for God's sake!'

'I love the Lord, not everyone.'

'I don't love everyone. Just certain people who've earned it.'

'Okay, my bad.'

'Gotta go, thanks Tom,' she hugged him.

'Don't be a stranger, a'right?'

'You can come visit too, Father.'

'I'll try. God bless you and have a nice day.'

'Bye, take care.'

Lily left more relieved than when she'd come at one in the morning. Tom had that special gift; he made everyone feel good about themselves, at ease. That's what made him a great priest. Not to mention he was dedicated and compassionate.

They'd met many years ago, at school and had become instant friends. She was drawn by his sense of humor and kindness and he liked her honesty and her mind. Together they'd spent lots of hours studying and growing up. Lily had been there when his parents died and Tom supported her throughout the difficult teenage years. Now, as adults, they'd been able to accept their differences and continue their friendship. Neither time nor God had gotten between them and that was all that mattered.

Lily found solace in his words, his company, his kind demeanor. There was something about Tom O'Callahan that made her feel at peace. Maybe it was all they'd been through, maybe it was all they shared that made their bond so special. Thing was, despite all odds they'd managed to hold on to their friendship and that itself was worth more than anything else.

Tom found a certain freshness in Lily. Her sincerity, her straight-forwardness and her big heart appealed to him. She made him feel anything could happen if he just worked for it and Tom liked that hopefulness. Sometimes naïve, yes, but always inspiring. She made him believe in miracles and even though he was a religious man, his faith sometimes slackened.

He smiled as he remembered those days as a teenager. How they were so carefree and innocent, when the only thing they worried about was getting a good grade on a paper or if this girl or that boy were interested in them. Those were good times. But now a choice he'd made hung heavy over his head like a Damocles sword. But now all she'd seen on the job had toughened her up. And there was no going back, you couldn't just rewind life and do things a different way, no matter how many times Father O'Callahan prayed for that.

* * *

_So here it goes. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, please keep doing it. Sorry for taking so long but life's been crazy! I try to keep things as cannon as possible, so this had to happen_; _don't hate me. Things will work out in the end, don't worry - thank God for Pay Up._


	29. Faith crisis

Chapter 29 – Faith Crisis

That day after work, Lily went to Father O'Callahan's church. She looked worn out.

'What are you doing here?' his tone was disapproving.

'I promised I'd stop by to help,' she shrugged and went inside.

'Ever heard of sleeping? Some people say it's great.'

'Don't know what you're talking about, sorry.'

'You could help with dinner,' he sighed, knowing that it was useless to argue with her.

After the homeless that went to the church for food left, Tom and Lily were the only ones remaining to clean up.

'I can't believe you help this many people on your own, without any volunteers,' she was awed.

'It's not that hard, I mean, I've got time …'

'You're an angel, Tom,' she caressed his chin with a smile and left a trail of soapy water from the kitchen utensils they were washing.

'And you're such a girl!' he couldn't help but smile.

'Yeah and you love me anyway,' she said playfully.

'True,' he flicked some soap at her with a grin.

'Oh, real mature!'

'You started it.'

Lily stretched to wipe his cheek (which was still covered with soap) but slipped on some of the flecks that had fallen on the floor. Tom grabbed her by the waist, stopping her fall but getting her blouse all wet.

'Good thing you have quick reflexes, thanks,' she blushed.

'No problem. Sorry for soaking your top,' he smiled apologetically.

'Easily fixed,' Lily took off her blouse, revealing a small white tank top that did a bad job of covering her body.

Tom swallowed hard at the sight. The fact that he'd taken a celibacy vow didn't mean he stopped feeling. As any other man who was faced with the woman he loved in skimpy clothes, he wanted to do something about it besides look. He might as well admit it now; he'd been in love with Lily for a while. And having her so close after so long stirred things inside him. Things he didn't want to come out, like thinking about leaving priesthood.

His demeanor changed, turning the mood darker as he threw the sponge into the sink.

'What happened, Tom? You look gloom,' Lily was worried.

'I want to stop being a priest,' he confessed.

'What? Why?'

'I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to help many people with as little money as I get. I'm tired of having to do everything on my own, I'm tired of the celibacy vow but most of all, I'm tired of the lack of freedom.'

'What about getting some volunteers or getting more funds?'

'It's not enough, I'm … worn out. There are too many restrictions, I just want to be free!' he explained.

'Aren't you anymore?'

'No,' he whispered. 'Remember those days when we were carefree? When nothing hurt us for too long and no one expected much from us? I miss that.'

'We grew up, Tommy. That's life. You have to assume responsibilities and face challenges,' she put a hand on his shoulder.

'It's too overwhelming, too exhausting. I – I can't handle it anymore,' he closed his eyes and Lily enveloped him in a hug.

'It's gonna be okay, you'll get through it,' she stroke his hair as he cried on her shoulder.

Seeing him so vulnerable made something inside of her crumble. She hated the Church now more than ever because of what it had done to her friend. More than anything, Lily wanted to fix it. She couldn't stand that such a wonderful person, such a loving man was suffering. He didn't deserve it.

'It's not too late, sweetheart. You can start again, get another job,' she kept her tight hold on him.

'What? This is the only thing I've ever been good at.'

'Not true. You're a smart, caring, dedicated man. How about working in social services or … you could become a teacher.'

'You really think I can start again? I haven't worked in anything else, I haven't dated anyone, I don't know how to live anymore without being a churchman,' he was devastated.

'You're gonna be okay, you're gonna make it. I'll help you,' she caressed his cheek. 'What do you need to do to leave?'

'I have to find a replacement and train him, that's going to take some time. I don't know if I can wait.'

'You focus on finding the right guy for the job and I'll help you with the rest, how does that sound?'

'Thanks, I appreciate it. I think I know who could do it, I'll give him a call tomorrow.'

'That's good,' she smiled encouragingly and kissed the top of his head.

'Sorry for this outburst, I just can't handle it anymore,' he apologized, blushing slightly as he did.

'Don't worry, that's what friends are for,' Lily ruffled his hair.

'It's amazing how after all this time we're still friends.'

'You're too good a guy to lose, Tom. I'll never stop being your friend.'

'Likewise, Lily. I missed you when we were out of touch,' he admitted.

'Sorry about that. Sometimes things get in the way and we forget what is truly important. But I promise it won't happen again.'

Three days later, Tom O'Callahan had found his replacement and showed him the ropes so he was officially out of the game.

'C'mon, Tom, let's go for a celebratory drink,' Lily urged him. 'You can do that now.'

'Sure.'

They got to Lily's favorite bar and took a seat in those metal stools in front of the barman. She asked for their drinks, which were ready in two minutes.

'For a new life,' she lifted her Cosmo.

'Cheers,' they clinked glasses.

'So, Tom, you like any of the women in the room?' she asked playfully.

'Um, sure.' _You_.

'Because that brunette over there hasn't stopped looking at you.'

'Oh,' this whole situation felt so weird to him. It was a new experience and made him feel very insecure.

Lily sauntered to that woman and talked to her. The stranger came to where he was and introduced herself while the lawyer took up another stool far from them.

'Haven't seen you here before,' the woman took a seat next to Tom.

'It's my first time here,' he was embarrassed and uncomfortable.

'Oh, I'm Clarisse,' she extended her hand.

'Tom,' they shook hands.

'So what do you do for a living, Tom?'

'I'm a priest. Well, was. I'm currently unemployed,' it broke his heart to utter those words. His life had lost all meaning.

Clarisse engaged him in conversation and he tried to answer and talk back to the best of his abilities. Truth was, he was uncomfortable with women flirting and hated to do it himself. Besides, the one woman he'd be willing to flirt with was a few feet away, being chatted up by a strong, handsome guy. Tom kept talking with the woman next to him, he clearly had no chance with Lily.

Lily had given Tom some space so that he could experience this situation by himself. Sitting on another stool a couple of feet away, she asked for a drink.

'What is such a beautiful woman doing alone?' asked a big, burly and handsome guy with a charming smile.

'Drowning her sorrows,' she took a sip of her drink.

'Too bad. Mind if I drown them with you?' he asked the bartender for a beer and sat next to her.

'Knock yourself out.'

'So what's troubling that pretty head of yours?'

'Ex-boyfriend,' she answered truthfully.

'What a jerk!' he shook his head.

'You don't even know him, how can you say that?'

'He left you, that's enough for me to know he's a moron.'

'I left him, actually,' Lily pointed out.

'He lost you, didn't he? It's probably a good thing, though. You're too good for him.'

'And you're too kind. May I ask your name?'

'Rick.'

'Well, thanks Rick,' she gave him a small smile.

'Whatever it takes to make you smile … I didn't catch your name.'

'I'm Lily. And I'm guessing your goal's not to make me smile but get me into bed.'

'You're better than that. But maybe I misjudged you.'

'Then if you know that, why did you approach me?' she was curious.

'Because you looked sad,' he answered.

'Great! Look, the last thing I need is charity so just leave,' she was upset.

'It's not charity, I hate to see pretty women sad. You don't deserve whatever it was that he did to you,' the man spoke nonchalantly.

'How do you know I didn't do something to him?'

'Because you don't sound guilty, you sound ashamed. He probably cheated on you.'

'Yeah, he kissed another woman.'

'Well, it could have been worse …'

'But that act as simple or stupid as it looks, meant he didn't love me anymore, he didn't respect me and he didn't have the guts to break up with me,' she asked for another drink.

Rick told the bartender to hold that drink and gave him a bill. 'You're not used to drinking. C'mon, I'll take you home.'

'Better make it your place,' Lily stood up.

'Thought you weren't the type,' he retorted with a sharp look.

'There's always a first time. Now, are you coming or not?' she asked and he … he followed. How could he reject her?

They got to his apartment in ten minutes.

'Sorry for the mess but I wasn't expecting …'

'I don't care,' she interrupted before kissing him and taking him to the bedroom.

Two hours later Lily was putting her clothes back on.

'Why don't you stay the night?' Rick pleaded with a kiss.

'Can't, sorry. Left my card on your bedside table if you ever need legal counsel.'

'What if I call you for other reasons?'

'Look, tonight was amazing and I appreciate it but I'm not gonna be your booty call,' she wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.

'That's not what I meant, I …' he saw she was eager to leave. 'Okay, I get it, this was just a one night stand. Go home.'

Once on the street, Lily breathed deeply. The cold air hitting her face made her reflect on what had just happened. The night had turned out unexpectedly, that was for sure.

She knew she'd been stupid and reckless but had really needed it. Lily needed someone to restore her self-confidence, to make her feel wanted. Flack's rejection had hit her hard. So she found comfort in this random stranger who'd been extremely nice towards her. Up to some point her actions made her feel ashamed of herself. _Where's your self-respect, Lily? You lost that when he disrespected you._

_

* * *

So here goes a filler chapter. Do leave a review with comments, suggestions, etc. _**Thanks **_to **sparkyCSI **for being such an awesome beta and_** to all of those wonderful people who have reviewed!**_  
_


	30. I want you

Note: Half of this chapter is unbeta'ed. I'm sorry, but it was really difficult to write. And since I exceeded my update for a whole week, I just _had _to upload it like this. I apologize for any mistakes or if you don't like it.

* * *

Chapter 30 – I want you

Lily and Steve were responding to a detective's call for back up. He had to serve an arrest warrant on a perp and called for a patrol; standard procedure. They got to the location and entered the building where the suspect lived. They climbed the stairs to the fifth floor where he resided and after knocking and announcing it was the NYPD, went in.

All the rooms were clear so the detective started looking for something that might tell him where to find the perp. He was rummaging through the hundreds of bills on the table, facing the door, when the suspect came in through the kitchen window and started firing at them.

He dropped the papers in his hands and tried to draw his gun but Lily tackled him. They watched as two bullets went over their bodies, knowing that they would have hit him in the leg and neck. Lily sat up and shot the perp in the hand, forcing him to drop the gun as the detective ran to the shooter and cuffed him. Steve was lying on the ground, blood gushing from his leg. As the detective called for a bus, his partner rushed to him.

'It's gonna be okay, Steve. Just stay with me,' she put pressure on the wound.

Two minutes later the paramedics barged into the apartment and took the officer to the hospital. Three minutes had passed when Mac came in, very worried.

'Flack! Is everything okay?' he demanded as severe as usual even though he was worried about the younger detective.

'A uni's at the hospital but he's gonna be fine and the suspect's under custody,' he was calm, considering what had just happened.

'You want me to take your statement first or should I start with the other officer?'

'She's pretty shaken up,' he pointed at the woman. 'I'll go first.'

After Flack was done, Mac processed the scene before talking to the other cop.

'Officer Stewart, I have to take your statement before you can go see your partner,' he approached her.

'It started as a customary arrest but the suspect wasn't home. Detective Flack was going through his things to find a secondary location when the perp came through the kitchen window and started shooting at us,' she stopped and Mac cut in.

'That was when you tackled Detective Flack to the ground?'

'Yes, sir. Then I shot the suspect and Detective Flack secured him while we waited for the bus,' she stared at her hands which were covered in her partner's blood. 'Is that all?'

'Yes, you can go now,' Mac nodded and watched the woman leave.

On the ride to the hospital she relived that situation in her head over and over again. Finding that Flack had been the detective asking for back up had been awkward. She didn't know how to act around him and she hadn't had the chance to do it before. Which was good, Lily didn't really want to see him. But she had to be professional; they were on the job. So after that minor setback, they went in; standard procedure, nothing out of the ordinary. Until that psycho had started firing at them. Her instincts kicked in and she managed to tackle Flack before he got hurt. The bullets flew over their bodies, making it even more real. She'd never been in a shootout and it was scary. The chaos was what frightened her the most, not knowing if the three of them were going to get out of there alive, not knowing what to do. Because in the academy they didn't prepare you for this kind of thing.

In a sudden adrenaline rush, she un-holstered her gun – which she hadn't had time to do before – and after getting her mark for about three seconds, shot at the perp. The bullet hit his hand, making him drop the weapon he was firing. Flack ran to him and cuffed him; everything was going to be alright now, the chaos had stopped. And that was when she saw it.

Steve was lying on the floor, clutching his leg. Her whole world came crushing down. If something happened to him … she would never forgive herself if he died while she was protecting Flack. Lily didn't want Flack to die either, but her partner was her partner and she was supposed to have his back. Always. But when this whole thing came down she was a couple of feet away and she hadn't even realized he was hurt. What a good job she'd done! As she walked to her partner's room she shook her head, trying to get that memory out of her mind. Steve covered in blood and in pain was an image she wasn't likely to forget anytime soon.

Two hours later Flack went to the hospital to visit the wounded officer.

'How is he?' the detective asked Lily, who was sitting at his side.

'He's gonna be okay,' she nodded and went outside, so as not to bother her partner.

'Look, Lily, I came here to say thanks. I'd probably be dead if it wasn't for you,' Flack was really grateful.

'That's why we were there, remember? To have your back,' she shrugged it off.

'Yeah, but after everything we've been through …'

'Don, I'm a good cop. When I'm on the job it doesn't matter if I love you, hate you, if you cheated on me or if we had a life together; my job is to protect you and that's what I'll do. I would've tackled anyone,' she was a bit offended by his words.

'I know you are but sometimes feelings get in the way …' he tried to explain.

'Not while I'm wearing this uniform.'

'Well, I appreciate your quick reflexes,' he emphasized his words with a nod.

'And I appreciate your appreciation, sir,' she'd distanced herself from him with one simple word.

'I was wrong, you know?' he admitted with a small smile.

'About what?'

'You're good at this.'

'It took me saving your ass for you to finally realize it?' she half-joked.

'I should've seen it sooner, I know,' his phone rang. 'Umm, gotta go.'

'Of course. Go save the world,' she turned around to go back into the room but he grabbed her hand to stop her.

'I'm sorry for everything but there was a reason I didn't want you on the job: I couldn't face seeing you covered in blood, trembling, like you did today,' he said softly, letting go of her hand.

'Good thing you aren't home when I get back, then,' she answered acidly. 'Funny thing is you chose another cop so maybe you're masochistic or something.'

'Or maybe seeing Jess doesn't hurt that much …'

'Don't give me that crap, a'right? Just go …' she was upset.

And he left, unable to put into words what he wanted to say, sad that he couldn't get his message across. And she sat next to her partner, angry at herself for being upset at his words, after promising that Flack wouldn't hurt her again.

Two days later Lily was doing some paperwork in the precinct when someone sat in the chair on the other side of her desk.

'Excuse me, can I have word with you?'

'Detective Taylor, of course, what can I do for you today?' she left the pen on top of the papers and listened intently.

'What you did the other day was quite impressive,' he raised his eyebrows.

'Thank you, sir.'

'I heard you got a commendation for that great shot.'

She nodded. So it wasn't really easy to shoot a moving target in the hand, but it wasn't impossible either.

'I'm gonna cut straight to the point, come to work in the lab,' Mac never wasted any time.

'Ummm, I'm sorry sir but I can't,' she was taken aback by the offer.

'Why? You've got the qualifications, some experience, I'm recruiting you personally – that doesn't happen every day …'

'I understand all that and I'm flattered, sir. But you need someone to work at the lab and I still want to be a cop.'

'You would also have to go out on the field _and_ you'd get a detective shield,' he was hoping she didn't refuse.

'I wanna earn it pounding the streets.'

'You'd rather be on the streets for at least two more years instead of becoming a detective right now?' Mac couldn't understand the logic behind that.

'I wanna go into Homicide and I know that if I take the job you're offering me, I'll be in the lab forever. That's okay, don't get me wrong, I just want to experience the cop side of things a bit more,' Lily tried to explain.

'Are you sure? 'Cause when I get up and leave the offer goes too.'

'I am,' she said firmly. 'I appreciate it, sir but I can't. Besides, you can't hire more people.'

'It'd be a transfer, I already talked to your supervisor. Do you change your mind?'

'No.'

Mac stood up and shook her hand before leaving. He didn't fully understand her motivations but respected her firmness; at least she knew what she wanted.

Lily was completely flabbergasted. She hadn't really seen that coming. And although she regretted her choice a little bit, she knew it was the right thing. Seeing Flack and Angell every day wasn't going to do much wonders for her ego or her mental health _and_ it would be terribly awkward. Besides, she wanted to be a cop for as long as she could.

Despite all these arguments that had popped up in her head, a small piece of her regretted having said no to an offer by Mac Taylor himself. She knew those things didn't happen often and was really flattered. But that was life, when you made a choice you had to live with it. And she'd decided not to take the job. The furthest away she was from Flack, the better. She had a heart to fix back again and his presence would only make it worse.


	31. Whisk

Chapter 31 – Whisk

Danny walked into the coffee shop, searching for someone. When he finally spot her, he approached and sat in front of the woman.

'So whaddya wanted to see me for?'

'Congratulations,' Lily gave him an envelope.

'What is it?' he opened it to find a gift card to furnish a baby's room. 'Thanks.'

'No prob,' she smiled.

'This must've cost a fortune, you sure ya can afford it?' he sounded skeptic.

'Being a criminal lawyer in a firm that has many prestigious clients comes in handy; you can always cash a favor,' she winked.

'You sure?'

'The owner was very grateful, said anytime you needed something you should swing by and mention my name.'

'Okay, thanks.'

'Whenever you need a favor, remember I've got contacts. So, what's new, besides the baby?'

'Nothin', that's really it. Big news!' he grinned. 'You?'

'Same ol', same ol'. Working too much, living too little but there's nothing new about that.'

'You heard what happened to Flack?'

'No,' she stiffened.

'A kid died while Flack interrogated him and IAB accused him of murder.'

'Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Has he been cleared already?' her voice was strained.

'No, not yet.'

'Oh.'

'He's not goin' through a good time, maybe you could talk to him?'

'No. I mean, what for?'

'You don't think he did it, do ya?'

'No, of course not, that's appalling! He has a perfect record and he's too good a cop,' she shook her head vigorously. 'Not to mention he's a good guy.'

'Then I think you should pay him a visit, distract him,' Danny encouraged her.

'That's Angell's job now.'

'Oh, c'mon! You're his friend.'

'Not anymore, Danny.'

'But still, you know each other ever since you were kids, you've been through a lot together, he respects you and I'm sure a visit from you would make 'im feel better.'

'Oh, please! He cheated on me, for Christ's sake! He doesn't care what I think.'

'Your opinion still matters to him.'

'Well, I'm sorry but no,' she was adamant.

'Why not?'

'Because it's gonna be awkward and weird and I don't want to bring more trouble on him.'

'You're not trouble,' he smiled.

'I just ... it's better to leave well enough alone. If things get worse, though, I know a lawyer who could help him. I assume he has a union rep now.'

'Yeah. I don't think it's gonna get that bad, we're workin' the case and we'll clear him in no time,' Danny spoke confidently.

'Good.'

'Look, Lily, he's at his desk pushin' papers. I'm sure a visit from you would cheer him up,' he insisted.

'I can't. I'm sorry but I just can't. It's too soon, Danny,' she said with a pained expression.

'Okay.'

'I mean, he humilliated me, right?'

'I don't think he did, it was just a kiss ...'

'Yeah but he initiated it. It hurts, y'know? 'Cause it means he just didn't care about me anymore. Why would he care about me now? It'd be totally pointless to go,' she tried to convince herself.

'Hey, it was just a suggestion. If you're not ready it's okay. But I think you could help.'

'I'm sure Angell can do a better job,' she said icily. 'When he kissed her he kissed my support goodbye.'

'Well, I gotta go,' he'd received a text message two seconds before.'Thanks for the gift.'

'Sure,' she couldn't stop the next words that escaped her lips. 'Figure it our quickly, will ya?'

Danny nodded before leaving as Lily sunk in her seat. Yes, Flack had hurt her but she didn't want him to lose his career for something that he hadn't done. She really wished the best for him. But she wasn't going to pay him a visit, that was asking too much. She was still trying to make sense of what had happened and trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. It wasn't something easy to do and seeing _him_ would only make things more difficult.

_Well, it is nice to know that more than a decade on the department with a perfect record doesn't count at all. That at the first sign of trouble my work throughout the years doesn't mean squat. _It was really comforting to Flack. _It's good to know that I can lose my job and go to jail for something that I didn't do. It's just great. _

Besides, all those colleagues who respected and liked him suddenly seemed to disappear; no one had anything nice to say to him. Not one comforting word, not one word of support. He guessed it was true what they said: "it took a lifetime to gain a reputation and only one second to destroy it". Apparently everyone around him thought he was capable of such a thing and that was the worst part. Don Flack Jr. would never, under any circumstance kill someone he was interrogating. And especially not a kid. It hurt that people thought he was capable of doing that. He just wanted someone to believe in him. And the one person he thought would support him was too busy trying to figure how IAB knew about their relationship.

_It's __just what I need. Like I care what people say about me. They can say whatever they want. And it's not like they have actual proof 'cause we're really careful. It's all gossip. I've got bigger things to worry about than gossip. _Like going to jail_. I mean, I get why she's all worked up about it but I could lose my life, is it too much to ask for a little support? __I'm not feelin' the love right now ...__ When gossip comes first than my future, that's not a very nice sign. She _did_ apologize, though. I shouldn't be so harsh on Jess. She was just trying to do the right thing. This case is messing everything up. I'm not used to being on the receiving end of suspicions. Okay, that probably didn't make much sense; the point is that I'm a detective and I suspect of _other people_. My actions are never questioned, not like this. One thing is when your colleagues think you betrayed them when you were doing what was right and another thing is believing you could kill somebody. I know that everyone's capable of murder but _not like this_. It'd never happen _this way_. I'm not that kind of person. And I hope they realize that soon._

* * *

I'm so, so sorry for the delay but my computer was dead for a whole month. This chapter is unbeta-ed in order to get it to you faster and I apologize for any mistake. Please review and let me know what you think. Again, I'm really really sorry.


	32. Rangers

Chapter 32 – Rangers

Lily met her date for the night at one of the gates of the MSG.

'Hey,' she smiled.

'Hi.'

'Shall we go in?' she asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Yeah, sure.'

'You're not an Islanders fan, are ya?'

'What? No,' he said awkwardly as they found their seats. 'Why?'

'Because you don't look comfortable.'

'You make me nervous,' he admitted with a blush. 'And I don't know much about hockey ...'

'Oh, you don't have to be nervous; it's okay. And hockey's not a difficult sport to follow,' she started explaining the basic rules.

When the first quarter ended he left his seat to get some food and he did it again in the middle of the second one.

'I'm sorry, is this game boring you?' she asked when he came back from the concession stand for the third time.

'No, it's okay.'

'You sure?'

'Yes.'

'Well, then you were really hungry,' she spoke with disbelief in her voice.

'Kind of. You want anything?' he laughed nervously.

'I'm good, thanks. You just don't eat during games, y'know?'

'Why not?' he bit half of the hot dog in his hand.

'Outta respect of the game and the shirt. I take hockey very seriously.'

'It's just a game ...'

'You know what, Mick? If you don't wanna be here just leave ...'

'I'm fine.'

'Just leave ...'

'Whatever,' he stood up. The girl selling slushees was hot, he was going to try chatting her up.

The game ended with a loss for the Rangers and the blueshirts fans left the Garden totally disappointed.

'Lily! You here alone?' Flack was surprised at seeing his ex.

'I had a date,' she raised her eyebrows and waited for him to get to where she was.

'Where is he?'

''He thought hockey was "just a game".'

He scoffed.

'Baseball is just a game. _Chess_ is just a game; hockey is a _sport_.'

'Total moron,' Flack shook his head before taking off his leather jacket and putting it over her shoulders.

'I'm fine, thanks,' she tried to take it off but he stopped her.

'You just shivered,' he gave her a sharp look. 'You can give it back to me later.'

'Thanks,' she blushed. 'Heard what happened with that kid, I'm sorry.'

'Umm, thanks,' he was uneasy.

'It was preposterous; you'd _never_ do that.'

'Yeah, well ...'

'You did a good thing today,' she nodded for emphasis.

'The human trafficking case? Thanks.'

'I mean it, I'm proud of you,' she smiled.

'How do you know all this stuff?' he was confused.

'Danny told me about your ordeal. And today's case reached every precinct, y'know? It was big.'

'It was horrible,' he corrected.

'Yeah, but you guys were good. You did a great job.'

'Doesn't make it feel better, but thanks.'

'You helped many girls, Don. Don't forget that.'

'This type of case is like a train wreck. You see all the damage but not everything that was saved ahead on the tracks.'

'That doesn't mean it isn't there,' she shrugged.

'You're right. So what's up with you?'

'Nothin' much; just surviving.'

'Are you still in the firm?'

'Yeah, we're doing great. Seems like rich people are getting in a lot of trouble and that's good for the business.'

'Of course. Do you still have a TO?'

'Yeahp.'

'That sucks.'

'Nah, Steve's a great guy. I like him as my partner but my year's coming up.'

'Really? So fast?' he was surprised.

'Time flies ...'

'Yeah. I'll walk you to your station.'

'It's Herald Sq., you don't have to walk me.'

'Yeah, I do.'

'Whatever! Good thing the D, F and N trains are quick, I really want to get home.'

'Only the F train takes you to the Upper East Side.'

'I moved out.'

'Oh. Why's that?'

'I'm earning less money now. And I don't know, guess I didn't want to live there anymore.'

'Right. So where are you now?'

'Mulberry and Prince.'

'Well that's a change of neighborhood!'

'Yeah, but it's really nice. I thought it was gonna be awful but it's quite nice with all the stores and everything. I like NoLita.'

'I'm sure it is.'

'Well, this is me,' they were standing next to the stairs that led to the station.

'I'll wait till you get on the train,' he started descending the steps.

'You really don't have to do that, I'll be fine.'

'No problem.'

'Seriously, you must be tired. Go home.'

'I can wait a coupla minutes,' he shrugged it off.

They were silent for a few minutes until Flack broke it.

'You should find better dates.'

'Beg your pardon?'

'A man would've made sure you got home safe even if he believed hockey was just a game.'

'I'm a cop. Besides, I always get home safe. Don't need a man for that,' she pointed out.

'Doesn't matter if you can kick his ass, the guy has to be a gentleman.'

'Like you?' she said with a raised eyebrow.

'Yeah, like me,' he said proudly.

'Right,' she laughed. 'And does a gentleman kiss other women when he's in a relationship?'

He had the decency to blush.

'Guess not. I'd rather walk home alone than be cheated on.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Stop with the apologies; it's useless. What's done is done.'

'But you've never forgiven me.'

'Forgive but not forget. I can't pretend it's okay but I've moved on,' she mentally cursed the MTA. The trains that could get her home were nowhere in sight.

'Is there anything I can say or do to make it right?'

'Just take your stupid jacket and leave ...' she took the leather item off her shoulders.

'Nah, you can't do that to me. I know your game and you can't push me away,' he sentenced firmly.

'It's not a fuckin' game, a'right? Just leave,' she seemed to be saying that a lot lately.

'Yeah, well, I said I was gonna stay till your train came, so ...'

'You can't leave me alone, can you?'

'Nope. You know me, I'm restless.'

'And annoying.'

'You never cared before ...'

'Because I loved you and I found everything you did charming.'

'You don't now?'

'I kinda discovered you're an asshole,' she said pointedly. 'Sorry 'bout the language.'

'Seriously?' he was deeply hurt.

'I mean, don't get me wrong; you're a great guy. But you're a jerk sometimes and I honestly believed you'd put _that_ behind you.'

'Whaddya mean? Put _that_ behind me?' he was confused.

'The "being a jerk thing", thought it was only of your high school days.'

'Is this the part where you blame for everythin' I did as a kid?' he tried not to raise his voice.

'Nah, this is the part where I blame myself for lovin' somebody who didn't change that much,' there was sadness in her voice. 'Here's my train,' she pushed his leather jacket into his chest softly and muttered a soft 'thanks' before getting in.

Flack watched her go, cursing the MTA and their awful timing. He just needed a few more minutes to finish that conversation ... A few more minutes to tell her that he was a good man, that he didn't want to disappoint her and that he loved her. _Woah, Flack! You're with Jess, remember? You can't say you love Lily. Not even if it's true. 'Cause she clearly hates you right now, so it's pointless. Besides, with Jess it's a clean start. You don't have any extra baggage with her; she's not gonna judge you for what you did as a teenager 'cause she doesn't know anything about those times. Yeah, it's better to stay with her._

_Wow, that'd been _perfect timing_! She should send the MTA a fruit basket or something. 'Cause that had been simply _perfect_. The D train gave me the chance to escape a very awkward conversation that I simply didn't want to have. It was like out of a movie: the train appearing right on cue, avoiding me the trouble of telling Don that I still love him. Really great. If I'd planned it, it wouldn't have gone that well. Can't believe I was so lucky! _She spent the whole ride with a smile plastered on her face, the sign of her total relief after escaping an uncomfortable situation.

* * *

_Sorry for the delay, guys. I was on vacation. You know the drill; leave a _**review **_with comments, suggestions, opinions, etc._ I'd like to thank **sparkyCSI **for being a wonderful beta and to all of you who have been reviewing lately; **thank you**.


	33. Moments

Chapter 33 - Moments

A few months passed and Lily found herself knocking on Mac's door.

'Ms. Stewart, what can I do for you?' The detective motioned her to sit down.

'I was wondering if you needed any help. With Lindsay going into maternity leave soon and all ...' she trailed off. 'It was probably a stupid idea, I'm sorry,' she stood up to leave.

'Please sit down,' he ordered. 'I'd love your help but I'm afraid I can't employ any more people.'

'Oh, I'd do it for free, so you don't have to worry about that,' explained Lily.

'Are you telling me you'd work for free?' said Mac disbelievingly. 'Why?'

'I'm just returning the favor ... You've always been very kind to me and although I refused your offer, I'm still at your disposal. So if you need an extra pair of hands, I'm available.'

'Do you have the time to work at the lab? Aren't you a uniform?'

'I would be sacrificing my work as a lawyer for a while and some relaxation hours but I could pull it off,' she reassured him.

'Are you sure about this?' Mac asked and she nodded. 'Then I'll talk to your lieutenant. When can you start?'

'Whenever you need me to.'

'I'll talk to Lindsay first to seen when she's going on leave and then I'll give you a call.'

'Great,' Lily knew she was being dismissed, so she got up and left.

***

Lily had been called to her first scene so she rushed to get there as quickly as possible. She saw Flack interviewing somebody a few feet away but she went straight into the theater to see where she could be useful. To her relief, Stella was already there.

'Where do you need me, Stella?' she quickly scanned the room, making mental notes of what should be processed.

'Lily, hey. Why don't you start by dusting the door for fingerprints?' ordered the detective and the other cop started working right away.

A couple of minutes later Flack came into the room. He first dismissed the person kneeling on the floor dusting for prints as a random tech. However, something in his brain clicked and when he looked again, saw it was his ex.

'Lil, what are ya doin' here?' he was surprised.

'I'm gonna help in the lab while Lindsay's on leave,' she explained, her eyes focused on the doorknob. It was pretty embarrassing to look at him, especially considering her position.

'Oh, okay. Welcome to the party,' he smiled and walked to Mac.

***

Mac called Lily to his office.

'I know that you've been very nice, giving your time to the lab, but with Danny and other people with the "blue flu", I need your shifts to be longer,' he told her.

'I'm sorry, Mac, but I can't. My patrol shift is four hours longer now, I - I don't even know how I can pull off a whole shift in the lab anymore,' Lily bit her lip.

'Okay, I'll see what I can do. Thanks,' Mac massaged his forehead.

'If the day had more hours, I would ... I'm really sorry,' she left.

Two days later, Lily was walking to the layout room when she bumped into somebody.

'Sorry,' she said and kept walking, her eyes never leaving the floor.

'My fault. Are you okay, Lily?' asked Flack.

'Peachy!' she sounded mad.

'Woah! Somebody's angry. What's wrong?'

'I've been workin' for twenty-three staight hours. The day before I worked for sixteen and the day before that for twenty hours. I hate the stupid union!'

'What does the union have to do with anythin'?' he didn't understand.

'Oh, right. They're trying to get benefits for all cops with this strike. Seems they've forgotten that while they're at home with the stupid flu, somebody's gotta pick up the slack.'

'Well maybe that's what you think 'cause you're a partner in a fancy law firm, but for some of us these things are important.'

'Then why are you working?'

'I was part of the important strikes. I know how necessary our job is.'

'Well, screw all liberals. You gotta earn things. And leavin' the city without protection isn't really the best idea. Especially 'cause now people hate all cops, even those of us who work; great job, morons! All for what? Two fucking dollars?'

'For some people those two dollars make a difference.'

'But it's not fair for the rest of us. I do this job because I believe in all the "serve and protect" stuff but that doesn't mean I've gotta work nonstop 'til somebody decides the strike isn't gonna accomplish anything.'

'You feelin' better?' asked Flack.

'Yeah, needed to get that outta my system, thanks,' she turned round and left for the layout room.

The whole conversation and her leaving might have seemed rude to some people, but not to Flack. He knew that after Lily vented, she needed to be alone. He also knew that she'd been picking a fight with him, to get her anger out. So he played along. And he felt as if they were together again; there was a familiarity between them that stemmed from knowing each other for a long, long time and from being a couple. That chemistry they had, that connection, it didn't end, even if their relationship did. They'd spent too much time together and you couldn't take that back; they couldn't help falling into the same dynamics.

***

Flack had gone to the lab to talk to Mac and was now going back to the Precinct. He was walking down a hallway when he saw a blur leave one of the labs and hunch over a trash can. When he approached to see if the person was okay, he realized it was Lily.

'What happened? Are you a'right?' he asked, placing a hand on her back.

'No,' she straightened up. 'I'm processing the "collection".'

'Oh.'

'This is sick!' her eyes were watery as she straightened up.

'I know,' said Flack softly. 'I'm sorry.'

'I ... I just can't get my mind around it, y'know? All those deaths; it makes no sense to me,' she paused to take a breath. 'I need to get to the locker room.'

'I'll walk you there,' he sounded worried.

'You don't have to, I'm fine.'

'I saw Xander Greene's collection, Lily. It's totally understandable,' there was a lot of empathy in his voice.

'I know it makes me a bad investigator but I can't help it. This got to me,' she admitted.

'It only makes you human,' he disagreed. 'Was somebody in your family ...' he didn't dare to finish the question.

'No. But it was something so awful, I still can't stop feeling disgusted,' she explained as she grabbed her things and prepared to brush her teeth.

'I get it. And leaving this case aside, how's this job treatin' ya?' he was worried.

'Okay,' Lily dried her mouth with the back of her hand.

'Didn't sound too convinced.'

'It's not a field trip; it's awful and dark but it's okay.'

'You're juggling between the lab and patrol, right?'

'Yes, sir. Is this the part where I can ask for a lawyer?' she said sarcastically. She didn't like being interrogated.

'Sorry, I was just askin'. I'm worried about you,' he answered truthfully.

'I'm still trying to figure out what I wanna do with the rest of my life.'

'You used to know.'

'Before my world was turned upside-down.'

'What happened?'

'You,' she looked straight into his eyes.

'I'm sorry for screwing things up for you,' he said softly.

'It was so much more than that ... ' she smiled fondly at the memories before splashing her face with water. 'How's your life?'

'I'm good.'

'Don't sound too convinced,' she answered back with his words.

'But I am,' he said firmly.

'Oh, good,' she tried to sound happy for him. Truth was his tone had implied he was really happy with Angell. It wasn't exactly what she was asking about, but he must felt it was important to stress it.

'Yeah, I'm great.'

'I'm glad,' she smiled. 'I have to go back to work now, so ...'

'Right. I'll join you, I was leaving,' he said and they walked back to the original location in complete silence.

'Thanks, Don.'

'Sure,' he placed a hand on her back before walking to the elevator.

* * *

_Okay, I know this chapter is kind of crappy and I know I've neglected this fic for a while, but I was suffering from writer's block. Good news is: it's over. And soon you'll have a _good _chapter, I promise_. Thanks to **sparkyCSI **for all her support and to **those of you who review**. Do let me know what you think, where you would want the story to go, etc. **Feedback is greatly appreciated!**


	34. Friction part 1

Chapter 34 – Friction (Part 1)

Mac walked into the break room, where Hawkes and Lily were having coffee.

'Lily, you're getting field work today. Come with me,' he ordered.

'Great,' she left her mug on the sink. 'Catch up to you later, Sheldon.'

'Bye, have fun,' said Hawkes as he watched the other two leave.

They got to the scene ten minutes later.

'Flack, what do we have here?' asked Mac in a business-like tone.

'Neighbors felt a foul smell and called the cops. Victim is supposed to be one of the tenants; Vicky Morrison. Husband and kids are missing, already put an alert on 'em,' he informed, looking at his notes.

'_Supposed_ to be? Are you losing your touch?' Lily spoke.

Flack hadn't realized she was there. 'It's pretty bad. I think Mac should handle it by himself.'

'Geez,' she shook her head in annoyance and opened the door, determined to go in. She gagged as she walked into the apartment, the smell being extremely nauseating.

'Are you okay?' asked Mac, covering his nose with a handkerchief.

'Ye – oh, fuck!' Lily had to look away from the body. There on the floor lay a female body with her face burned and missing the left ring finger.

'Start taking the pictures,' ordered Mac and she took snapshots.

'What do you want me to do next?' asked Lily after ten minutes of photographing the scene.

'Look around the house and try to find out if the rest of the family left out of their own free will.'

'Okay,' she inspected the kitchen and went into the bedrooms. 'There could be signs of a struggle, but I'm thinking they actually left in a rush,' she said, coming out of the kids' bedroom.

'Why?'

'Well, there was an empty suitcase on the parents' bedroom and although everything's a mess, it doesn't look ransacked, it looks as if somebody knew exactly where things were.'

'Right, and what about the living room?'

'There are drag marks coming from the kitchen – and yes, I took pictures. Are those _fingernails_ stuck to the floor?' asked Lily, a bit grossed out.

'Yes, they're gonna tell us her identity,' Mac put one of the nails in an evidence bag.

People from the ME's office picked up the body, leaving the C.S.I.s with a pile of soot around where the victim had been. They took a couple of samples and dusted for prints in all the usual places before Mac decided they should go back to the lab.

'I'll take the evidence to the car, you go ask Flack if he has any more information for us,' said the detective as they were about to leave the building.

Lily walked to the homicide detective, who was in the lobby. 'Don, did something come up in the canvassing?'

'The neighbors didn't see the Morrisons for a week, then the rotten smell started; that's all I can give you,' he said.

'Okay, thanks. Let us know if you find the rest of the family or anything else.'

'Will do,' he nodded. 'I didn't know you had upgraded your status. You workin' as a CSI now, huh?'

'Took me by surprise too. Mac's waiting, so I'll see ya around.'

'Congratulations. I'll give you a call as soon as I know anything.'

'Thanks,' Lily left.

Once at the lab, they gathered all the evidence in the layout room.

'I'll take one of the nails to Adam while you put the soot throught the GCMS and run the prints and then we'll go to see Sid,' explained Mac.

'So soon? Autopsies usually take a long time,' Lily was confused.

'It's a slow day, Sid says he'll be done in an hour.'

'Okay, I'll let you know when I'm done,' she said and got straight to work.

Mac came back in, fifty minutes later. 'Any hits?'

'Fingerprints are a bust, they're not in any database. Soot is another story, though. There are traces of cooking oil consistent with the one in the Morrison's kitchen.'

'Did you take a sample of their cooking oil?' Mac sounded impressed.

'Well, no. But it matches the chemical fingerprint of the brand ... I did see the bottle,' she blushed.

'We'll go back and take a sample, now let's get to Sid's.'

Three minutes later they were at the morgue.

'Hey Sid, whaddya got for us?' asked the boss.

'Oh, hey. I see we've got company,' the M.E. smiled encouragingly at Lily. 'She's been dead for a week. COD is asphyxiation by smoke inhalation, though blunt force trauma came close second. The victim also presented lots of bruises and broken bones; some were a consequence of the struggle and others were older.'

'Domestic violence victim,' Lily pursed her lips.

'That's right,' Sid unclicked his glasses.

'And what about her face?' asked Mac.

'It was burned with something flammable, obviously, but it's nothing I've seen before. I took a sample and sent it to Adam.'

'I'm curious about the finger,' said Lily.

'Ah, yes. It was severed post-mortem with a serrated knfe mostly used in carpentry. What happened to it after being cut, however, is something you'll have to figure out,' answered the ME. 'One more thing: of the remaining nine fingers, eight had ripped fingernails; she fought hard.'

'They were all across the kitchen floor,' explained Lily and Sid looked down.

'You've got the clothes for us, Sid?' asked Mac before the doctor gave him the bag. The cops thanked him and went upstairs again. Lily had to process the victim's clothes while Mac took care of some administrative issues.

While examining the victim's sweater Lily came across a foreign hair so she took it to Adam.

'Sorry Adam, but I bring you more work,' she showed the tech the bag with the hair.

'That's okay. The results came back on that nail stuck to the floor, it belongs to Vicky Morrison, your missing tenant,' he gave her the sheet with the results.

'Thanks. Would you mind putting a rush on this hair?'

'Sure.'

'Thanks, you're a sweetheart,' Lily left Adam's lab and grabbed her phone.

'Flack,' he answered.

'Don, how close are you to finding the Morrisons?' asked Lily, skipping all niceties.

'Still lookin'. Why?'

'The victim was Mrs. Morrison. I've emailed you a picture of the rest of the family, let's put it in every billboard and paper, a'right?'

'Have you talked to Mac yet?'

'I'm two inches from his office.'

'Look, I'll be at the Precinct in five minutes, call me if you change your mind about putting their faces everywhere.'

'Sure. And Don, don't second-guess me,' she ended the call.

Lily went into Mac's office and informed him of the situation. He agreed on releasing the picture as long as it was said they were probable victims and not that the husband was a suspect. Forty minutes after releasing the photo, a patrol car was picking up the Morrisons from a diner in New Jersey and taking them to the 12th Precinct. When the family entered the station, the kids were taken to a room by a woman from CPS and the husband was led to an interrogation room.

'So how are we gonna play this?' asked Flack as a uniform escorted Mr. Morrison to room number three.

'Well, he liked to hit his wife ...' Lily pointed out.

'Do you think you're ready for interrogation?' asked Mac, understanding what she'd meant and she nodded. He now spoke to Flack. 'Would you have her in that room with you?'

'Yeah,' he nodded emphatically.

'Then you two can take it. I'll be watching,' sentenced Mac.

'Thanks,' Lily smiled and she walked to the interrogation room with Flack.

'You ready?' asked the detective, twisting the doorknob.

'Bring it on,' she entered the room, Flack following after ten seconds. 'I'm Officer Stewart and this is Detective Flack.'

'Why am I in an interrogation room?' asked Mr. Morrison.

'We have some delicate information to discuss with you and we thought it'd be better to do it somewhere quietly,' answered Flack.

'Am I under arrest?'

'Not that we know of, should you be?' retorted Lily.

'Of course not!'

'When was the last time you saw your wife, Mr. Morrison?' asked Flack.

'Dunno. Why? Where is she?' he answered roughly, not really caring.

'At our morgue,' Lily blurted out. 'We found her dead in your apartment this morning. We're sorry for your loss.'

'Dead? How? Why?' the husband looked at Flack for an answer.

'I haven't read the autopsy report, but I'm sure my partner could respond to all your questions.'

'Of course. Mrs. Morrison died of smoke inhalation a week ago, we still don't know why, though,' explained Lily.

'Smoke? Was there a fire or somethin'?'

'I don't think you would want to know the details,' advised the woman.

'I'm not weak, I'm a man. What the hell happened to my wife?' he directed his attention to Flack, who had been standing behind Lily the whole time.

'Your wife was burned to death, Mr. Morrison. Do you have any idea who could've done it?' said Lily harshly.

'No.'

'Could we ask you some questions?' Flack requested his permission and the man nodded. 'What do you do for a living?'

'I'm a carpenter, why?'

'Why were you and your kids in Jersey?' asked Lily.

'We were on vacation.'

'Without your wife?'

'She had to clean the house.'

'The whole week? Couldn't she have cleaned it after your vacation?'

'No.'

'All the evidence points to you as the murderer,' Flack piped in.

'It wasn't me.'

'Now, maybe there's a good explanation. All our evidence is circumstancial so if you explain it satisfactorily, you wouldn't have to go to trial,' explained the detective.

'Are you kiddin' me? I've seen people get convicted with less,' Lily contradicted the other cop.

'I'm sure this isn't enough for a conviction, Mr. Morrison,' Flack assured him.

'I've been in more trials than you and lemme tell ya, he's going to jail,' Lily defied Flack.

'That's not true.'

'Don't be a moron! Of course I'm right!' she turned to Mr. Morrison. 'Don't listen to him, you're going to jail unless you can explain this.'

'How do you let her treat you like that?' he spoke to Flack with indignation in his voice. 'You listen to me, little bitch, you treat men with the respect they deserve. Cunts like you should be dead,' there was a lot of hatred in his speech.

'Was that what you said to your wife while you set her face on fire?' asked Lily with a deathly calmness. 'Is that what you think? That we should all be dead?'

'The bitch didn't do what I told her. She thought she could do whatever she wanted. But not in my house.'

'Guess what, Frank? Women aren't slaves anymore. So what did she refuse to do this time?'

'I told her to put more oil while doin' the fuckin' fries! Is that so difficult to do?'

'And because she didn't put enough oil while cooking, you threw it on her face and lit her on fire?' asked Flack, trying to understand.

'Hell yeah I did. But then the fuckin' bastards start screamin' "mommy, mommy" so I grabbed them, packed a few things and left the bitch burnin'. That would serve 'er right!'

Lily stood from the chair and walked 'til she was behind Frank Morrison to whisper in his ear. 'You're a real tough guy, aren't you? What I don't get is why you had to cut her finger off.'

'I sold the ring,' he explained.

'And what did you do with the knife?' asked Flack.

'Threw it through the window.'

'You threw a _bloody knife_ through a first floor _window_? You're way more stupid than I thought,' Lily shook her head. 'But I guess you didn't care if somebody else got hurt.'

'Sit tight, Mr. Morrison. We'll have an officer arrest you pretty soon,' informed Flack as the two cops left the room.

'Good job,' Mac met them outside. 'You're a good team.'

'Thanks,' Lily was relieved they'd gotten a confession.

'Rookie here is pretty good,' joked Flack.

'You kindness is touching, really,' she shook her head. 'We have to go for the knife now, don't we?'

'Yeah,' agreed Mac. 'Flack, you free to come with us?'

'Sure. I'll be your chauffeur.'

They arrived to the crime scene shortly. The cops checked the bushes on the façade of the building but didn't find the knife so they went to the first floor, where the murder had happened to see if it was still on the sort of balcony that the small window had. Mac could see it, but it was too far for him to reach it.

'Why don't you try from downstairs?' he asked the other cops.

'I'll go ask the landlord for a ladder,' Lily turned around.

'He's visiting his family in Armonk for a couple of days,' said Flack, remembering what the neighbors had told him.

'Okay, somebody on this block must have one. I'll look for a cooperative neighbor.'

'There's a faster way, you know?' said Mac.

'What?' Flack wanted to collect the knife as soon as possible so that he could get to the piles of paperwork waiting for him.

'The window's not that tall, you could lift Lily.'

'C'mon, Mac! I don't mind fetching a ladder, seriously,' she wasn't too thrilled by the idea.

'I won't drop you, promise,' the detective was eager to go back to the precinct.

'A'right. But if I die, you better not come to my funeral, Mac.'

Once back outside and under the window, Lily placed her gloved hands on Flack's shoulders before stepping on his entwined fingers. He lifted her a bit as she rose.

'Do you see the knife?' he asked, focusing on not dropping her.

'Yeah, give me a second and for God's sake, don't drop me.'

'Never,' he answered back, his eyes staring into one of the buttons of her white shirt.

She carefully lifted her hands from Flack's shoulders and opened the evidence bag before reaching for the knife. After sealing the bag she put her left hand back on his shoulder and jumped down, unintentionally rubbing her upper body against his face.

'Could've sent a warning, you know?' Flack had been taken aback by the swiftness of her action and by having her breasts thrust into his face.

'Sorry, really wanted to get down,' she blushed.

When Mac got down, they were both silently looking at the ground. 'See? It was easier,' the boss pointed out.

'Flack's gonna put in for hazardous pay, though. 'Cause lifting this much weight wasn't on the job description,' she joked.

'What are ya talkin' 'bout? You're thinner than ever,' he answered back.

'You know you don't have to woo me with compliments, I'm pretty sure next time you'll go get a ladder.'

'Yeah, well, I'm not liftin' Messer.'

Fifteen minutes later Mac and Lily were at the lab and the knife had been logged, processed and stored. Before going home, she stopped by his office.

'Can I have a quick word?' she asked and he nodded. 'Thanks for taking me out on the field today.'

'You earned it. And you did a good job today.'

'Thanks, Mac. Have a good night,' she smiled and left. It was nice when your hard work was recognized. Besides, finding a killer was always exhilarating.

* * *

_I'm sooooooooooooooooooo sorry it took me this long to update. I'm halfway through the next chapter so I'll post that one quite soon. Once again, I apologize to whoever is reading this. _As usual,** thanks to sparkyCSI** for being awesome.


	35. Friction part 2

C

Chapter 34 – Friction (Part 2)

Mac, Stella and Lily had been called to a scene in St. Patrick's church. One of the priests had been found dead in his chamber and the Church was pressing the NYPD for quick results.

'Victim is Stephen Kusak, priest, 49, was found by the maid one hour ago, no witnesses so far,' Angell informed them.

The three CSIs covered the huge crime scene trying to find evidence. There weren't any leads except for some anonymous hate mail, so they went back to the lab to find something more to work with. Stella was in charge of the fingerprints, Lily had to work on the hate mail and Mac was going to supervise and deal with the brass.

'C'mon, Lil. Tell me you got something from the hate mail,' said Stella as she entered the layout room where Lily was working.

'Prints weren't in AFIS?' she asked and Stella shook her head. 'I found some on the letters, Adam is gonna run them soon.'

'Good. Any suspicious letters?'

'Well, none of them are nice. But there is one guy who sent four letters and they were pretty bad,' explained Lily.

'Why? What did he write?'

'He accuses Kusak of molesting him when he was a choir boy and recently molesting his younger brother.'

'You are going to Hell for what you did ... I'm going to call the police ... You'll be sorry you're alive ...' Stella stopped reading parts of the letters. 'They're quite harsh. Do we have a name?'

'Yeah. The priest kept the envelope so I'm running this guy's name for priors,' the computer made a noise, 'here we go; Joe Lawrence, did five years for arson after burning a _church_,' Lily raised her eyebrows.

'Sounds like motive to me,' Stella smirked. 'I'll call Angell, have her pick him up. You up for questioning?'

'Yes, ma'am,' the younger cop couldn't hide a smile.

Half an hour later, Joe Lawrence was being booked.

'So, Mac, are you coming in with me?' asked Angell.

'I'm just here to observe, Lily will go with you,' he informed the detective.

'Are you sure? Brass is breathin' down our necks for this one.'

'I'll be watching, don't worry.'

'Alright, let's go,' Angell motioned the other woman to go with her.

'Good afternoon, Mr. Lawrence, this is Detective Angell and I'm Officer Stewart. Have you been advised of your rights?' spoke Lily and Angell gave her a dirty look.

'Yes, but I still don't know why I'm here.'

'So you hate The Church, right?' asked the detective.

'Look, I did my time for that.'

'But it made you even more angry, didn't it? I mean, you felt you were doing a great thing when burning that church and you end up in prison for that, it doesn't seem fair,' Lily was trying to establish rapport with the suspect.

'It's not. The only church that enlightens is the one that burns. But I paid for that _five_ years,' he explained.

'It still wasn't enough, though. You _had_ to kill the priest who hurt you, didn't you?' pressed Angell.

'I didn't kill anyone.'

'He molested you, Mr. Lawrence. It must've been hard on you. And then you get outta jail and you learn he was molesting your little brother? It would make anyone want revenge,' Lily pointed out.

'You sent priest Kusak four letters threatening him, there's no doubt you killed him,' expanded Angell.

'Yeah, I sent those letters, but I didn't kill him.'

'So you're telling us that the guy who molested you and your brother is dead but you didn't do it? If that's true, you're a sad excuse for a man. A real man wouldn't have let him hurt your brother, he would've stopped Kusak,' the detective pushed.

'We get it, you were frustrated that he was hurting other kids, you didn't want them to suffer like you had ...' Lily spoke softly.

'I didn't do anything!' he screamed.

'You killed a pedophile, the world is better without him anyway, why don't confess to it?' asked Angell.

'I don't want to go to jail again.'

'They'll respect you there after what you did,' asserted the detective.

'I'm not going back,' he shook his head emphatically.

'There could've been other ways, y'know?' said Lily. 'You could've filed a complaint and he would've gone to prison. You didn't have to kill him.'

'Yeah, right! Guys like that are untouchable. They have been doing it for a long time and no one ever does anything. I had to kill him so he would stop. I couldn't let him touch my brother again,' fury was evident in his eyes.

'Now write it,' Angell pushed a block and pen towards the perp before leaving with Lily in tow.

'That was fast, good job,' Mac was waiting for them outside.

'It would've been faster if Miss Counsellor here had helped!' Angell glared at the other woman.

'Being overtly aggressive isn't the only way to get results, y'know?' Lily answered back.

'Right, kill them with kindness, that'll work,' the detective rolled her eyes.

'You were a good team in there,' Mac tried to cool things down.

'Why did you even send her with me, Mac? She's a uniform, for God's sake!'

'She's working as a C.S.I. right now and is qualified to perform all parts of the job. I thought Lily could help you with interrogation and she did well,' replied the head C.S.I.

'It's not my first interrogation, okay?' Lily's tone was harsh.

'Until you get one of these shields, you're just a rookie to me,' Angell spoke with disdain.

'She's my investigator and it's my call if she interrogates suspects. So you can either file an inquiry with IA or mind your own work,' Mac spoke with his 'marine tone'.

Angell pursed her lips and left without saying anything.

'Thank you Mac, that was ... very nice of you. I appreciate it,' Lily was shocked. She definitely wasn't expecting that support from him.

'It's true. She wasn't just questioning your abilities but my judgment too. And I don't like that,' said Mac as they were getting into the car.

'I just don't know why she got so mad. I mean, the guy confessed.'

'She's upset about Flack.'

'Whaddya mean?' she was confused.

'You're back in his life now that you're working in the lab. You have cases together, you see each other often and she feels threatened by you,' explained Mac.

'But he chose her. I mean, we were together and he ruined it 'cause he chose her over me. She shouldn't feel like that at all,' she was still puzzled.

'Jealousy isn't rational. Besides, you and Flack go way back, you've shared many things.'

'When you put it like that it kinda makes sense but ... the past is the past.'

'And sometimes it's too strong and it brings people together.'

'Wow. That was deep, Mac.'

'I've been hanging around Stell too much lately,' he smiled and they stayed silent throughout the rest of the ride to the lab.

A few hours later Hawkes, Adam and Lily were running evidence in the different computers at the AV room when Flack came in.

'Hey guys, where's Messer?' he asked.

'He went home to his wife,' answered Hawkes.

'Oh. Thank, doc,' the detective paused. 'Do any of you want to have a drink with me?'

'I still have a lot of work to do, Flack. Sorry,' Adam barely took his eyes off the screen.

'Pass,' Hawkes shook his head.

'How 'bout you, Lil?'

'No, thank you,' she said coldly.

'And what if we turn it into dinner? I'll buy,' pressed Flack.

'I don't think it's a good idea, sorry.'

'Why not?'

'Ask your girlfriend.'

'Okay guys, have a good night,' Flack left.

Twenty minutes later Flack was knocking on Angell's door.

'Hey, what are you doing here?' she was surprised.

'I know we weren't supposed to see each other tonight but I really wanted to do something and everybody rejected me so ...' he explained and she laughed.

'Okay, but only because you were rejected by everyone,' she kept chuckling.

'Thanks. So how was work today?' he sat on the couch.

'Normal, I guess. Yours?'

'Pretty average. Nothing worth mentioning?' he pressed.

'No. Why?' Angell was getting suspicious.

'Just asking ... have you seen Lily lately?' he asked nonchalantly.

'What did she tell you?' Angell was irked.

'Nothing. That's why I'm asking you.'

'Look, we worked a case together and we happen to have a different approach to the job. That's all,' she explained grudgingly.

'Okay.'

'I mean, she's a rookie, she shouldn't be working as a detective.'

'She's workin' for Mac, y'know? There are some things that come with the territory.'

'Of _course_ you would defend her!'

'I'm not defending her,' he lifted his hands in mock defense. 'I'm just sayin' ...'

'Yeah, well, I think Mac screwed up with this one.'

'Did she make a mistake or something?'

'Yeah! She goes around asking suspects if they want a lawyer and telling them everything's gonna be okay. That's _not_ how you get a confession.'

'Did you get a confession, then?' he asked.

'Yeah. But thanks to me.'

'Then you've got nothin' to worry about.'

'You just _have_ to downplay it, don't you?' Angell rolled her eyes.

'What's that supposed to mean?' he got defensive.

'Miss goody-two-shoes can never be wrong in your eyes, no matter what she does,' she was clearly upset.

'That's unfair, Jess. I'm just sayin', if Mac didn't intervene and you got a confession, then it's all good.'

'Whatever. I'm not arguing with you because of this so either you watch a movie with me or leave,' she told him matter-of-factly.

'What's on tonight?' he turned on the TV. Angell wore a self-satisfied grin the whole night.

* * *

_Okay, here is the second part, as promised. Don't expect an update for at least three weeks because I'll be extremely busy. Do leave a review with comments/suggestions/tips, etc. By the way, it's so weird to keep writing Stella! It's like she never left. As usual, _**thanks **_to _**sparkyCSI**_ for being awesome._


	36. Revenge

Chapter 35 – Revenge

On May 20th, 2009 Lily was enjoying a rare day off. She'd decided she didn't want to go to the firm like she did whenever she had a day off patrol and just stay home. At ten a.m. she got a call.

'Lily, this is Steve. You need to come to work,' the training officer went straight to the point.

'Why? What happened?'

'A cop was killed this morning. They're takin' everyone out on the streets and that includes us.'

'Who was it?' she asked as she started putting on her uniform.

'A detective from the 12th, Angel or somethin' like that ...'

'Jessica Angell?' she swallowed hard when Steve confirmed it. 'I'm already in uniform, I'll meet you on the parking lot.'

'Hurry up. We should've hit the streets five minutes ago.'

On her way to work she mulled over the news. Angell was dead. _Jessica Angell_ was ... _dead_. Lily felt mostly frustrated and angry, like she did whenever a cop was killed in the line of duty. However, there was a small voice at the back of her head that screamed: karma. Nobody deserved to be killed, especially a cop but Lily couldn't be too sad about it. After all, the dead woman was half the reason her life had been torn apart. And the other half was probably mourning and chasing down whoever had killed his beloved girlfriend. The universe certainly had a twisted sense of humor.

So on her first day off in at least six months she found herself in the car with Steve for nine hours looking for Angell's killer. Lily believed that she was selfish and a bad person for thinking that Angell knew how to ruin her life even after death, but there was something true in that statement. Then came the dispatcher's voice saying to call off the search because the perps had been found. Both Steve and Lily sighed; the day was over.

The funeral was the following Saturday morning and more than half the force was paying their respects. They all stood there in formation, not a muscle moving during the whole ceremony. They saluted when they had to, the twenty-one shots were fired, the ominous bagpipes played and then it was all over. Some cops approached the family to express their condolences but Lily couldn't. She knew Cliff Angell had been a good detective and fathers shouldn't have to bury their daughters but she couldn't shake his hand and say she was extremely sorry because she wasn't. She was _somewhat_ sorry. Lily had gone to the funeral to pay her respects to Jessica Angell the cop, who deserved every salute, every word of praise and the flag over her coffin. Jessica Angell the person was a different story, though. Lily felt no obligation to honor the woman and that was why she left the cemetery feeling regret for the loss of a co-worker and not for the loss of a human being. Even if that was harsh. Even if she was supposed to be better than that.

May 27th found Lily ashamed of her previous feelings. A woman had _died_ and she'd been almost _glad_, what was wrong with her? She wasn't happy about her death and she certainly couldn't be relieved; it had changed nothing. Flack had still kissed her while being with Lily, he'd still chosen Angell over her and he still loved her. The latter had been evident in the funeral, where he stood in his dress blues holding back tears. It had been a heart-breaking sight. And then the call came. The previous night a group of cops had been shot at at a bar. Mac and his investigators, to be more exact. Needless to say, cops all over the city wouldn't be getting much sleep the following days. It started all over again ...

To make matters worse, the Lieutenant in charge of the 10th Precinct wanted to have a chat with Lily after roll call.

'How long have you been a cop?' he asked.

'A year and a half in New York and I worked in Boston for four years during college.'

'You're a lawyer too, right?'

'Yeah, I work as a criminal lawyer.'

'You've also worked with Taylor as a C.S.I.'

'Yes, sir,' it hadn't been really a question but he somehow needed confirmation.

'Brass seems to think you're ready for Homicide.'

'Whaddya mean, Lieu?'

'The Homicide Division in the 1-2 is short two detectives and they want you to work there temporarily.'

'Why me?'

'You have experience with police work, lawyers and evidence and they think you can be good for transition while they find a replacement for the one who died and the boyfriend comes back to work.'

'But I'm not a detective ...'

'You'll get a temporary golden shield.'

'Does that mean I'll be off patrol?'

'No, we're fightin' to keep your ass in this precinct,' explained the lieutenant.

'So I'd be doing doubles until they find a replacement over there?'

'Or pulling sixteens, remember detectives have longer hours.'

'Do I have any choice, Lieu?'

'You've been off probation for six months, do you wanna go back?'

'No, sir.'

'Then take the assignment, Stewart.'

'Yes, sir.'

'I need you to sign here,' he gave her some papers. 'You start tonight.'

Lily read the contract carefully and the lieutenant rolled his eyes; damn lawyers!

'What did Lieu want?' asked Steve when she joined him in the car.

'They're assigning me to Homicide at the 1-2 temporarily.'

'So who's replacin' you here?' he asked.

'No one. I'm supposed to work the morning shift with you, go home to catch some sleep and then run to the 1-2 for another shift. I got _nights_.'

'Ooh, nights in Homicide in New York City. That's gonna be fun!' he teased.

'Yeah, I'm so looking forward to it ...'

'At least you're getting a golden shield for a while.'

'Right, that's comforting!' she said sarcastically.

One month later ...

When Flack got to the scene, he saw a woman giving directions to every cop in the building.

He tapped her shoulder before saying 'I'll take it from here.'

'Like hell you will. This is my crime scene,' she turned around and they both gasped in surprise.

'Lily? Are you a detective now?'

'It's temporary. Till you get back on your feet and the brass decides who to give Angell's shield to,' she explained.

'Well, I'm here to take over.'

'Hold that thought,' she took out her cell phone and made a call. 'Chief of Detectives, please. Stewart, 9521 ... Sir, I've got Detective Flack at my crime scene asking for the case. I want to know his status ... Yes, sir ... Yeah ... Yes, sir. Thank you.'

Flack felt pain crushing his chest, but tried to play it off. '9521, huh?' he pursed his lips. They had given Angell's badge to Lily.

'Trust me, I wanted another one.'

'Yeah. Do I have green light?' asked Flack, a bit peeved that she had called their superior.

'I've just told the Chief of Detectives that you seem balanced enough. Don't make a fool of ourselves, a'right?' Lily ripped a page from her notebook and slammed it against his chest before leaving.

The following afternoon Lily was entering Mac's office.

'Detective, what can I do for you?' he asked.

'I wanted to know how last night's case is going.'

'We're still processing the evidence.'

'I was actually asking 'bout Flack,' she bit her lip.

'_Detective_ Flack is following every lead we have. Is that all?'

'So can I go to sleep knowing he hasn't ruined his career or mine?'

'Yes,' he nodded.

'Thanks,' she left his office quite relieved.

After the case was solved Lily walked to Flack's desk.

'Do ya have a minute?' she asked.

'Sure,' he looked up from his paperwork.

'No hard feelings?' she extended her hand.

'Why would there be?' he didn't shake her hand, though.

'Look, I get it. Your girlfriend was killed and a month later you come back and I have her badge and desk and job. But I'm not replacin' her.'

'Of course not,' he said coldly.

'The precinct was undermanned and I have more experience with murders than your average cop. You're back on the streets and they'll give this shield to somebody else so I'll go back to just patrol.'

'Okay.'

'I don't wanna be her, I don't wanna replace her and it's not about you. I'm just doing my job.'

'Great. That reminds me I have to do all these reports before my shift ends, so ...' Flack gave her a pointed look and she just shook her head and left.

As Lily went home she thought about all that had happened in the last month. In hindsight, it probably hadn't been a good idea to take Angell's badge and desk. However, she'd wanted to help the Department and advance her career as a cop. Lily knew that if she took the job and did it well, it would be a good precedent when it was time to talk about a promotion. Besides, she'd been living for the thrill lately and being a Homicide Detective was certainly exciting. Was it the smartest choice she'd ever made? Probably not, but she stood by it and would do it again. She was, in a way, fulfiling a long-time dream of hers. Before the whole ordeal in Boston she was on her way to becoming a detective but the rape changed everything and now, almost seven years later, she could say she'd been able to do it. Granted, not for a very long time but it was enough to erase it from "the Bucket List". She could honestly say that before being thirty she'd achieved everything she had wanted regarding her career; being a cop, a detective, a crime scene investigator, a lawyer and a founding partner of a law firm. In that area, her life had been pretty much perfect. She'd experienced a few setbacks but had risen above them. This, however, presented a problem: what to do from that moment on?

She definitely wanted to keep being a cop but now wanted to focus more to being a lawyer. Lily had been going less than ten hours a week to the firm lately and she wanted to change that. She missed the thrill of going to court but more than anything, she wanted to go back to her life. Splitting up with Don had turned her life upside down and that was why she had buried herself in the danger of police work. Now it was time to get her life back together. Yes, she had loved Flack and probably always would but that was no reason not to move on. It was time.

To say that Flack was pissed was an understatement. They had no right to give Angell's badge to Lily! And her desk? That was outrageous. The Brass had no respect. She had died in the line of duty just a month before, would it have hurt to show a little respect? It wasn't fair! It wasn't supposed to be like that. Jess shouldn't have died and Lily shouldn't have replaced her. Flack felt quite guilty because in a way, it was payback. Jess had replaced Lily as his girlfriend and now the lawyer was replacing Jess at work. Maybe that was why she'd taken the job in the first place, to make him upset. If that was true, there'd be hell to pay. That was why after spending half an hour at a bar, he paid Lily a visit.

'Flack? What the hell are you doin' here?' she stifled a yawn. After all, he _had_ woken her up.

'I wanna know why you took the job,' he said quite loud and she dragged him in, not wanting him to wake up the neighbors.

'You mean as a detective?' asked Lily and he nodded. 'Well, 'cause they offered ...'

'Nooo, you wanted to replace Jess,' he slurred.

'For Christ's sake! Are you drunk?' she had a disgusted look on her face.

'Maybe but you – you haven't denied it.'

'I told you before, I was just doin' my job, I don't want to replace anybody.'

'Did you do it to make me mad?'

'No.'

'You sure? 'Cause you're makin' me pretty mad!' he explained.

'Wasn't my intention, sorry,' she said acidly.

'You shouldn't have taken the job,' he sentenced.

'They asked for my help, I said yes. That's all there is to it,' she shook her head, wondering why she was giving explanations to a drunk Flack.

'Why they asked for you? You're a rookie.'

'I've been round the block a coupla times and it'd be temporary, so that when they promote somebody, he won't have to carry the load of being the succesor of a fallen officer.'

'Oh, I'm sure you're very sad she died,' he spat back.

'Yes, I am!' she said and he snickered. 'Was she my best friend? Would I have liked to hang out with her? No. But every cop killed in the line of duty is a tragedy.'

He looked down, realizing she'd meant what she'd said.

'So you're goin' back to patrol?' Flack's eyes widened as he spoke.

'I've alway been on patrol. You're not gonna see me around. Now let me go back to sleep,' Lily ushered him to the door.

'If I find out you did all this to get back at me ...' he trailed off.

'You what? Are you gonna arrest me? I'm not intimidated by your drunk self. Now go.'

He left, seeing as he – uncharacteristically – had no witty comments to respond with. As he sobered up with the cold air hitting his face, he realized how stupid and rude it had been to go see her so late at night in such a condition. Truth was, he had needed to go. She had to know how he felt about the whole situation. He was upset and hurt and couldn't let it go so easily. He knew that it hadn't been entirely her fault so it was kind of unfair to blame it all on Lily but at the same time, she was responsible and he had to remind her of that fact. He had to do it for Jess and for himself. He couldn't forget Jessica Angell as soon as everybody else had. He didn't want to.

She went back to bed wondering why she'd even bothered to explain herself to an obviously drunk Flack. But then it hit her: she needed to tell him, even if he couldn't remember it the following morning. She needed to tell Flack it had nothing to do about him and all to do about _her_. This was her turning over a new leaf.

* * *

_Sorry it took so long to update but it was a difficult chapter and I was swarmed with finals. I promise next chapter will be up faster. Please leave a review with comments and suggestions. As usual, _**thanks**_ to **sparkyCSI** for being awesome and extremely helpful and to: _**babygurl1994**, **BlueEyedAuthor**, **Angel N Darkness**, **xSamiliciousx **and **animeotaku88** for great reviews_._ Keep 'em coming!


End file.
